Page 31 of A Montana Childhood Promise (Sagebrush Ranch Sweethearts #3)

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Jane wrung her hands. She’d already paced a path in the dirt leading to the barn from the edge of the building. All the back and forth had kicked up enough dust that there was now a thin layer on her clothes.

She probably should have called first.

Okay, she definitely should have called first.

Noah was busy. What if he was dealing with something related to The Wounded Heroes Project? He might not even be here. Though she had bumped into a cowboy who had insisted he’d seen Noah go out on a ride with a few of the other men.

Shaking out her hands, she glanced nervously at the fields where the cowboy had pointed.

There was no way she’d be able to find him, so saddling a horse was out of the question.

All she could do was wait for him to come back.

Because if she left now, she knew she’d be too nervous to come back.

And there was no way she’d message him something so important.

Jane focused on her breathing when she became lightheaded.

All she had to do was tell him that she still loved him.

She didn’t need to make excuses for her behavior, though that was where her heart was going.

She wanted to assure him that he was still it for her, and she prayed that he’d accept it, and they could move forward.

There were going to be other hurdles that they’d have to overcome. She wasn’t so na?ve to think there wouldn’t be.

“Hey, Jane. How’s it going?”

Her head snapped up, and Reese wandered toward her. He was clad in a pair of worn jeans that was topped with a green t-shirt that brought out the specks of jade in his hazel eyes. Much like his cousins, he was handsome, but he didn’t hold a candle to the man she was waiting to see.

Jane offered him a shy smile. They’d worked together every so often on various chores around the ranch, but they hadn’t really gotten to know one another all that well. “It’s going okay, how are you doing?”

Reese shrugged his shoulders. “Can’t complain, I guess.” His eyes widened. “But I heard all about how great that event went. Congrats.”

She blushed. “Thanks, but I didn’t really do much.”

Reese scoffed. “I wasn’t able to attend, but I heard all about it. And one of the triplets posted all about it on her social media. Don’t downplay your work. Everyone can see you’re a shining star when it comes to this stuff. Have you considered taking things to the next level?”

“The next level?” she asked.

“Yeah. Like a bigger charity. I’m sure there are loads of people who could benefit from what you bring to the table.” Reese flashed a smile. “I could totally see you working for some big hot shot over at a children’s hospital.”

“Actually, I?—”

“Jane?”

She whirled around at the sound of his voice, and her heart hammered in her chest at the sight of him. Noah rose out of the saddle where he had been seated and jumped to the ground at the side of his horse. He frowned, his eyes darting from Jane to Reese and back again.

The pain was still so clearly etched in his eyes that it made her heart ache. Their distance from one another had been too much. She could see that, now.

“Hey,” she murmured, taking a step toward him. He didn’t move, and she hesitated moving closer. Had she taken too long to clear the air?

Noah rubbed the back of his neck and nodded curtly toward her. “I wasn’t expecting you to come by. Bo said that you’re taking some time off.”

She flinched. There was no denying that she’d been avoiding him while she dealt with her own feelings of inadequacy. And those were her issues, not his. Jane was here to do one thing and one thing only. She needed to talk over what had happened between them so it wouldn’t happen again.

Reese’s retreating footsteps were the only indication that they now had privacy, and she had to take full advantage of it. She stepped toward him with the intention of asking him to explain his side of things, but then that demand fizzled at the thought that she might push him away.

He had to know he was still important to her.

“I want to complete our pact.” The words flooded from her lips before she had a chance to reel them in. She never did things on a whim.

Never.

And she’d been pushing against the idea of marriage for most of her adult life.

What was she thinking, asking him to marry her?

Well, sort of. She swallowed thickly, not willing to backtrack, because if she were completely honest with herself, she knew this was what she wanted.

She just wasn’t sure she was ready for it.

Noah must have seen the regret in her eyes over saying such a thing because he shook his head with a sigh and jerked his chin toward the barn. “Come on, Jane. I think we need to have a talk.”

Her heart slammed into her chest at his refusal. Because that was what this was. He hadn’t teased her or played along. He hadn’t accepted her offer. Noah was slipping through her fingers, and there was nothing she could do to stop that.

She followed him into the barn and toward the stall where he planned to give his horse a good brush-down.

Her eyes remained fixed on her fingers, and she picked at her cuticles as she waited for the inevitable.

This was it—the moment he said that the space they’d given each other was enough for him to realize what he wanted, and it wasn’t her.

His muscles bunched and flexed as he removed the saddle and placed it aside. He didn’t meet her eyes as he set to work, and the silence that stretched between them was excruciating.

“What do you want me to say, Noah? That I’m sorry?”

That got his attention, and he stilled as his eyes snapped up to meet hers. “What?”

She folded her arms indignantly. “Well, I’m not. You hurt me. And I’m not going to apologize for needing time to sort out how I felt about it.”

The two of them stared at one another for a moment, and she continued before she lost the confidence she’d grasped ahold of.

“And I’m not sorry about offering to complete our pact, either. I still care about you. I still love you.” Her voice broke on the last of those words, and she fought the tears that wanted to be spilled as she spoke them.

Noah’s hand paused, brush in hand as his eyes swept over her. His brows furrowed, and he moved to put the brush on a nearby ledge. “Is that what you think? That I need you to apologize?”

She swallowed again and folded her arms as if that would be enough to protect her.

She lifted her chin in a show of confidence, even though she didn’t feel it.

Noah hadn’t been the person she’d thought she’d fall in love with.

And after discovering that he secretly had billions, that possibility was even less likely.

She’d steered clear of people with wealth for a reason.

And yet, she couldn’t think of a single person she wanted more. She just needed some reassurances that they wouldn’t go down this sort of path again—the one where they kept things from one another.

He moved to her side and took her hands in his, prying them from where they were folded. “I don’t think you have anything to apologize for. But I do think that you’re dealing with something that needs to be sorted out, and I’m not sure if I know how to do that.”

“What does that mean?” she whispered. Was he going to ask to extend the space they’d already put between themselves?

Noah searched her eyes, and a soft smile graced his lips, making her whole body yearn for him even more.

He reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, letting his gentle touch send a wave of shivers down her spine.

“You don’t know how much I wanted to come to you over the last week and just beg you to talk to me. ”

She grimaced. Maybe she should be apologizing. Relationships worked two ways, and if she cut him off, then what did that mean for her? Before she could suggest such a thing, he continued.

“I don’t want you coming to me telling me that you want to marry me just because you’re scared of losing me.” Noah’s forehead pressed against hers. “Because you won’t. I’m not going anywhere.”

She released a pent-up breath. “You’re not?”

He chuckled, and that sound alone was enough to soothe something she hadn’t realized had been hurting.

Noah’s focus on her should have been unnerving, but instead, she felt something different.

It was like she was finally realizing he had been the only one to truly see her.

How could she have ever doubted that she wanted him in her life?

Noah sighed. “Do you know why I didn’t want to tell you about my other life?”

She blinked several times, the whiplash from discussing wanting to stay together to the thing that had come between them almost too much. “Why?”

“My reasons were two-fold. You probably heard that I didn’t even tell my family. It wasn’t just you I was keeping that secret from.”

Jane nodded. “I was wondering why you kept everyone in the dark.”

He slipped his hands to her waist and pulled her close, his voice a husky whisper.

“I was scared. I didn’t want people to make assumptions about me or treat me differently.

I wanted to use the money I’d gained from my investments without anyone else telling me what to do.

I liked who I was, and I didn’t want that money to change me. ”

Something cold and hard settled in the pit of her stomach.

That was exactly how she felt about extreme wealth.

Money changed people. Sometimes for the better, but also not so much.

It wasn’t a sure thing, but she’d seen people who came into large amounts of money end up becoming more entitled and less willing to serve others.

That was something she didn’t want to have happen to her. It was probably an illogical fear, but it was one she harbored. She looked at Noah with fresh eyes.