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“Lady Catherine!” Mr. Collins exclaimed in surprise as the lady marched into the dining room. “What are you doing here?”

Charlotte Lucas, who had been warned by Elizabeth of the lady’s arrival, placed a gentle and restraining hand on her fiancé’s arm. The rector looked at her in surprise, and then smiled slightly.

“I am here in response to your absurd and insolent letter, Mr. Collins!” Catherine de Bourgh snapped, taking her place to the right of her nephew. “How dare you tell me that you are giving up the living at Hunsford? I kindly set you apart from the rest of your impoverished brethren by providing you with a good home and a good living, and now you throw my generosity in my face? How dare you?”

“I do not see it that way,” Collins replied patiently. “You are an officious busybody, and I am probably the most intelligent man you will ever meet in your life. It should be clear to even an imbecile that we would not deal well together if I continued on as the rector at Hunsford.”

Lady Catherine’s mouth dropped open in disbelief and her face turned a beet red, allowing Charlotte to speak softly into the ear of the man who would soon be her husband, “Mr. Collins, it is not entirely kind to call Lady Catherine an imbecile.”

“I did not precisely call her an imbecile,” the man said aloud in a painstaking manner, “but I do apologize if I inadvertently insulted you.”

“Inadvertently? I have never been so insulted in my life, and it was most certainly deliberate. Darcy, are you going to sit there and allow this fool of a parson to abuse your beloved aunt?”

Darcy signed to the servant to begin bringing in the food and then turned wearily toward his aunt. This dinner was going to be a disaster, though at least Anne was not present; his cousin felt poorly after the long journey from Kent and was thus resting in her chambers. Georgiana, who was looking uneasy, was seated as far away from her aunt as possible and was directly next to Elizabeth, who was obviously suppressing her mirth. Mr. Bennet too looked extremely amused at the repartee between the arrogant gentlewoman and the blunt clergyman.

“Lady Catherine,” Darcy stated patiently. “Mr. Collins is my welcome guest and a most brilliant individual. As I stated previously, you arrived uninvited and unannounced; you have only yourself to blame if you dislike the tone of Mr. Collins’s conversation. He does not mean to be insulting, I believe.”

“I do not,” Collins spoke up quickly. “I do apologize. Miss Lucas, I am counting the hours until we are wed because I truly need you to help navigate these difficult conversational hurdles.”

Lady Catherine stiffened, “You are to marry Miss Lucas? Why her? Why not one of the Bennet ladies as I instructed you all these months ago?”

“Neither of my daughters wishes to marry Mr. Collins,” Mr. Bennet explained, speaking up for the first time. “It was mutually agreed that Miss Lucas is far better suited to be Mr. Collins’s wife than either Elizabeth or Mary.”

“We are all very happy for Mr. Collins and Miss Lucas,” Mary said quietly.

“That is ridiculous! The estate is entailed away to Mr. Collins when your father dies, is it not? Miss Elizabeth, Miss Mary, one of you at least should have done everything in your power to win yourself an offer from your father’s heir. I understand your portions are small, your accomplishments minimal and your beauty unimpressive. You will be lucky to win any kind of an offer at all with those deficiencies!”

There was a gasp of horror from Georgiana, Mary looked pained, Elizabeth indignant, and Darcy was suddenly furious.

“Miss Bennet, at any rate, has an offer that she is considering even now,” he stated suddenly, gazing directly into the eyes of his precious Elizabeth. “I offered for Miss Bennet’s hand only hours ago, and I am waiting on her decision, which she will make at her leisure.”

Lady Catherine leaped to her feet in outrage, “What?!”

“I accept, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth exclaimed, surging to her feet. “I accept your offer and will be honored to become your wife.”

Darcy’s eyes filled with joyful tears and a smile split his face. Mary and Charlotte cried out in delight, Georgiana squealed in ecstasy, Lady Catherine screamed in outrage, Mr. Bennet smiled mournfully, and Mr. Collins focused on the sugar lumps in a nearby dish. It was most regrettable that they were shaped in such irregular shapes; surely a cubic form would be preferable?

***

“This is utter nonsense!” Lady Catherine bellowed. “You are pledged to Anne!”

“Lady Catherine, we have discussed this ad nauseam and I refuse to continue the conversation. I am marrying Miss Elizabeth Bennet. You have no control over my life, or Miss Bennet’s, or Mr. Collins’s, and the sooner you accept that, the better it will be for all. I suggest you retire to bed and seek solace and peacein sleep.”

“This is not over, Darcy,” the lady snarled, stalking into her bedchamber and slamming the door behind her.

Darcy sighed gustily and lifted a hand to loosen the collar around his throat. His movement was halted by the sight of the door opening next door to Lady Catherine’s bedchamber, followed by the appearance of a hesitant eye in the newly formed space between door jamb and door.

“Is Mother in her room?” Anne de Bourgh whispered.

“Yes,” her cousin replied wearily. He was tired of dramatic yelling, but he was a brave man; he would not scuttle away from his no doubt traumatized cousin.

Anne de Bourgh slipped out of her sitting room and hurried forward to grasp her cousin’s arms with a surprisingly tight grip, “Are you indeed engaged to be married, Cousin?”

Darcy nodded and braced himself for possible hysteria, “Yes.”

Anne produced the most glorious smile he had ever been privileged to see on her always wan countenance.

“Darcy, that is absolutely splendid,” she cried, though softly. “Come, come, you must introduce me to your fiancée. What delightful news!”

Stunned at this unexpected response, Darcy mechanically held his arm out to Miss de Bourgh, and together they hurried down the stairs and into the library, where Mr. Bennet, Elizabeth and Mary were sitting and talking softly among themselves. All three rose to their feet at their entrance.

“Miss Be ... Elizabeth,” Darcy said, delighted that he was now permitted to address his love by her first name. “May I introduce you to my cousin, Miss Anne de Bourgh. Anne, this is my fiancée, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, her father Mr. Bennet and her younger sister Miss Mary Bennet. ”

Elizabeth hurried forward with her usual charm and grace, though Darcy could tell she was slightly uncertain as to her reception. Fortunately, Anne had no desire to leave her in doubt.

“Miss Bennet, my warmest congratulations on your engagement! This is absolutely splendid news! I do not know you at all, and yet you are already one of my favorite people in the entire world. You have done what no one else has succeeded in doing; you have taken my tall, rich, handsome and dour cousin off of the marriage market!’

Elizabeth choked slightly at this but responded with a warm smile, “I assure you that I do not find your cousin dour in the least.”

“Well, then you have obviously been very good for him,” Anne replied merrily. “I must confess that I was most displeased at being dragged here from Rosings, but this fantastic news makes it all worthwhile. I know my mother is outraged but I assure you that the rest of the family will be absolutely delighted.”

“I am thankful that you are pleased, Miss de Bourgh,” Elizabeth returned with a twinkle in her eye. “I know that Lady Catherine believed that you would be marrying Mr. Darcy and am thankful you did not share that belief.”

“The very idea was like something out of a nightmare filled with frustrating situations and people who would not listen,” Anne replied firmly, glancing around. “Darcy, might we have some tea? I was using the long journey as an excuse to hide in my room but I feel like I must hear the whole story of your beautiful romance.”

Darcy, feeling more than slightly bewildered, left the room in search of tea. Once he had found a servant and given the order, he returned to the library to find Anne sitting cozily next to Elizabeth with Miss Mary and Mr. Bennet across from them.

“It is all about compatibility,” Anne explained, looking up at her tall cousin. “Darcy is a fine fellow — handsome, rich, intelligent — but he is quiet. I daresay you would not believe it, but I am usually quiet also. Tonight I am so thrilled at being released from the horrifying specter of becoming Mrs. Darcy that my tongue is running away from me. But Darcy needs a lively wife and frankly I would prefer to be far healthier before I marry.”

“Mr. Collins would agree with you,” Miss Mary commented. “He held forth on the importance of domestic compatibility in this very library only hours ago, and championed the idea of using one’s mind as well as one’s heart in determining a marriage partner.”

“He is entirely correct,” Mr. Bennet agreed, rather soberly.

Elizabeth winced slightly; she knew, better than most, that her own parents’ relationship was not one based on compatibility. Mr. Bennet had given way to infatuation with the lovely Miss Frances Gardiner, only to learn shortly after their marriage that his new wife was of limited understanding and prone to fits of petulance and complaining.

“In any case,” Anne continued, “I am ecstatic for you and me. When will you marry?”

Darcy and Elizabeth exchanged startled glances.

“We do not know,” Darcy admitted. “Elizabeth agreed to marry me at dinner tonight, and your mother’s volcanic eruption at the news prevented any further discussion on timing.”

“Do you wish to have a long engagement?” Anne asked curiously.

“No,” Darcy and Elizabeth said simultaneously.

The daughter of Rosings nodded decidedly, “Well, if you do not mind, let me be part of your plans since I know Mother better than any of you. If I may say so, the sooner you wed, the better; she will be like a dog gnawing on a bone so long as you are not yet married.”

“What can she do?” Mary asked practically. “Mr. Darcy is too honorable a man to renege on an engagement, and Elizabeth is far too strong minded to bow to her ladyship’s wishes.”

“She can be annoying and tedious and loud,” Anne de Bourgh retorted. “Of course, Darcy could throw her out of Pemberley, but that is probably not the best route, especially if I am ejected with her. I would like to stay at Pemberley for at least a few weeks now that I am here.”

“No, no,” Elizabeth said. “I would not wish for our marriage to cause a schism in your family.”

“Well, that may be unavoidable given my mother’s dictatorial personality, but at least we can do our best to outflank her.”