Page 13 of A Lesson in Propriety (Merriweather Academy for Young Ladies #1)
Thirteen
Before Rhenick could launch into the most troubling particulars of what could certainly be considered the oddest day of his life, Charity lumbered into the room again, precariously balancing a platter of fruit and cheese in her hands, one she unceremoniously dumped on the first table she encountered. A gesture to the platter was her way of suggesting everyone help themselves, and after bobbing what was supposed to be a curtsy, she lumbered out of the room again, calling over her shoulder something about fetching some plates and utensils.
“I say everyone should just grab a piece or two of cheese without the benefit of a plate because who knows if or when Charity will ever return,” Wilhelmine said, earning grins all around before everyone moved to the table and began helping themselves to chunks of cheese.
Once everyone was resettled on their respective chairs or settees, with Coraline somehow managing to relieve Grace of her more comfortable spot, Rhenick finally returned to the events of his day, making a short account of everything leading up to his first sight of Miss Drusilla Merriweather.
Wilhelmine paused with a piece of cheese halfway to her mouth and frowned. “Good heavens, Rhenick, it’s no won der you’ve described your experience as harrowing. If I’m not mistaken, Miss Drusilla Merriweather undoubtedly suffered an attack of the vapors after she found herself almost shot, and I would guess it was quite a dramatic attack at that. After witnessing the poor lady in a most distraught state, you, being you, and because you have quite the experience with distraught members of the feminine persuasion, obviously felt compelled to step in and comfort Miss Merriweather. However, considering the shock she’d suffered, I’m going to say she was inconsolable, and probably needed an entire vial of smelling salts before her state of hysteria began to diminish.”
Rhenick swallowed the piece of cheese he’d just popped into his mouth and shook his head. “Miss Merriweather wasn’t hysterical at all. In fact, she was completely composed, an attitude I found quite extraordinary, given her circumstances.”
“Did he just use the word extraordinary ?” Grace asked, earning a nod from Eloise.
“He did—a telling remark if there ever was one—but what he hasn’t told us about yet is anything to do with her appearance.” Eloise caught Rhenick’s eye. “May we assume Drusilla Merriweather possesses extraordinary looks that, of course, compliment her extraordinary level of composure?”
His lips curved. “She is a most beautiful lady with blue eyes that I would say are more aquamarine over an ordinary blue, and her hair is brown, although...” He gave his jaw a rub. “The word brown doesn’t exactly do her hair justice, as it’s more of a chocolate color, but not the darkest of chocolate, or perhaps it’s not chocolate at all but more along the lines of the color of acorns, but only after a rain shower, the rain having left them all shiny looking, and...” His words trailed to nothing when he realized that his sisters were staring at him with their mouths agape.
“What?” he asked.
“You do realize that you’ve just taken to descending into poetic prose, don’t you?” Eloise finally asked as the rest of his sisters, along with his mother, simply continued to stare at him, quite as if they were at a loss for words—an unusual circumstance, to be sure.
“I don’t know if I’d go so far as to claim I descended into poetic prose. I was simply describing Drusilla’s appearance” was all he could think to say to that.
Eloise’s brow furrowed. “You likened Drusilla Merriweather’s hair to acorns after a rain shower. If that’s not delving into poetic prose, I don’t know what is.”
Having nothing at his disposal to respond to that since Eloise had made a rather valid point, Rhenick rose to his feet and moved over to the cheese platter, needing a moment to collect thoughts that, clearly, hadn’t returned to normal after becoming all muddled from the moment he’d clapped eyes on Drusilla.
It was an odd state to find himself in since he wasn’t a man who dabbled in poetic turns of phrase, nor was he a man who’d ever blundered about with a lady like some sort of bumbling idiot, but that’s exactly what he’d done with Drusilla, and...
“Ah, and here’s Charity, with plates for us to use, no less,” Wilhelmine exclaimed, pulling Rhenick from his thoughts right as Charity thrust some plates in his hand, bobbed another curtsy, then mumbled something about forgetting the utensils before heading out the door again.
“I suppose it’s a sign that Charity’s becoming more proficient with her position that she remembered the plates,” Grace said before she took a plate from him and promptly began loading it up with cheese, still having to use her fingers.
It took a good few minutes before everyone got resettled, and after Rhenick got his plate of cheese balanced on his knees, he turned to his mother. “Where was I?”
“You’d just gotten to the part where Drusilla had been held at rifle-point by Norbert Tweed.”
“Right, and directly after that, I was presented with the op portunity to become formally introduced to Drusilla, but I’m afraid that instead of pulling off an introduction with any sort of aplomb, I was made to look like a clumsy ninny, and all because of a goose and goat.”
With that, Rhenick launched into the details regarding his various interactions with Drusilla, pretending not to notice when Eloise and Coraline disappeared behind their handkerchiefs when he talked about trying to rescue the goose, or when Tilda began frowning at him when he got to the part about telling Drusilla she was in danger, only to learn she wasn’t able to sell due to a promise she’d given her aunt.
To give his sisters their due, though, they didn’t interrupt him a single time, although his mother didn’t hesitate to do exactly that when he got to the part about Elbert.
“She has an ex-fiancé?” Wilhelmine pressed.
“Indeed, and I think he’s the reason why she informed me, after I broached the subject of marriage, that she was never going to entertain the idea of marriage again.”
A telling silence settled over the room until his mother set aside her plate and sat forward. “The subject of marriage came up?”
“It took me by surprise as well,” Rhenick admitted. “But after I told Drusilla she could end up in Lake Michigan, and not for a swim, she stated quite emphatically that she’d have to take her chances because she’d made the decision to open an academy for young ladies, which would provide her with much-needed funds to take care of her family.” He gave his nose a rub. “Events then began taking a turn for the unfortunate because, being faced with a damsel in distress, or so I thought, I made the monumental mistake of coming up with what I believed was a brilliant solution that would solve all of her problems.”
“Do not tell me that’s when you brought up marriage, is it?” Wilhelmine asked.
Rhenick winced. “I’m very much afraid it was.”
Tilda released a snort. “Please tell me that you didn’t ask a lady you’d just met to marry you.”
“I think it was more along the lines of me telling her she needed to marry me over any asking.”
His mother immediately scooted closer to him on the settee and took hold of his hand. “It’s no wonder you’re experiencing discombobulation, my darling boy, because, if I’m not mistaken, after Miss Merriweather got over her initial shock regarding your unexpected solution to her problems, she realized it was a viable solution and agreed to marry you. That agreement has obviously left you with the realization that, as an honorable gentleman, you’re going to have to exchange vows with a lady you don’t know.”
“You seem to be forgetting the part where Drusilla informed me she was wholeheartedly opposed to the institution of marriage in general.”
Wilhelmine blinked. “She said no to your proposal?”
“I took the fact that she snatched up Norbert’s rifle and aimed it at me as conclusive evidence she wasn’t saying yes.”
“She tried to shoot you?”
“Not at that particular moment because she got distracted when this figure dressed in widow’s weeds materialized from out of nowhere, scaring me half to death.” Rhenick smiled. “Since there’d been a lot of talk about ghosts haunting the castle, I thought I was being confronted with a spirit from another realm—until the figure shoved aside its weeping veil and I found myself being looked up and down by Irma Merriweather, Drusilla’s mother.”
“She didn’t want to shoot you as well, did she?” Wilhelmine asked.
“Not at all, but she did want to learn some specific details about me, such as what I did for a living, where Drusilla would live if she married me, and if I was receptive to the idea of a mother-in-law moving in with a newly married couple.”
Tilda arched a brow. “I take it Irma Merriweather had been doing some eavesdropping before she made herself known?”
“Indeed she had, and she seemed downright delighted to learn I’m a man of industry, but...” He blew out a breath. “Drusilla was not delighted in the least because as soon as she heard that our family owns a construction company, which obviously goes hand in hand with land development, she decided I was a cad of the worst sort and had only asked her to marry me because I was trying to get my hands on the Merriweather property.”
“I can actually see her point on that one,” Tilda said.
“Well, quite,” Rhenick agreed. “Nevertheless, before I could assure Drusilla that her land was the last thing I wanted, she told me she was going to take a page out of Norbert’s book and count to ten, and that if I wasn’t gone by that time, she was going to shoot me.”
“And that’s when you made a hasty retreat?” Tilda asked.
“I didn’t think that was necessary because she’d admitted earlier that she didn’t know how to shoot a pistol, so I assumed she wouldn’t know how to shoot a rifle either. Because of that, I didn’t think I was in any real danger. I also thought I’d try one last time to convince her I wasn’t after her land, but before I could do that, she started counting out loud, reached ten, and then, cool as you please, she took aim at me.”
“And then she shot at you?” Eloise asked.
“Well, no, because she didn’t seem to know that you needed to use the lever on a rifle before the hammer cocks. Unfortunately, though, that’s when the cloaked woman returned—and no, I can’t describe that woman because she had the hood of her cloak over her head—and she, without a word, simply took the rifle from Drusilla, armed it, then delivered explicit instructions as she handed the rifle back to her. Drusilla then sent me the most beautiful smile—right before she pulled the trigger.”
“Maybe you should have been paying more attention to the rifle than to Drusilla’s delightful smile,” Wilhelmine muttered.
“Indeed. Although, clearly Drusilla wasn’t shooting to kill, merely making a point since she didn’t hit me, although I can’t say that’s completely true as, again, she doesn’t know how to operate a weapon. Nevertheless, even though I didn’t suffer a bullet, Drusilla did hit something—that being a chandelier, which plummeted to the ground in a shower of crystals, causing a bit of a ruckus in the process.”
“Good heavens,” Wilhelmine breathed.
“I know. It was another instance of extraordinariness because I don’t actually know a woman who would follow through with shooting at a man, even if she wasn’t actually capable of hitting one.” Rhenick shook his head. “Thankfully, no one was injured, but before I could make any type of departure because it was obvious my presence wasn’t welcome at the castle, the redhaired lady ran into the room with not one but three ferrets running beside her.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “That’s when things got really interesting because who knew that ferrets could turn vicious in the blink of an eye?”
“The redhaired lady ordered her ferrets to attack you?” Eloise asked.
“She mostly just snapped her fingers and pointed in my direction, and the next thing I knew, I was facing a full-on assault from cute little furry creatures that aren’t very cute when their fangs are bared.”
“I believe I’ll rethink any interest I may have recently voiced in acquiring one of those,” Eloise said.
“An excellent idea,” Rhenick agreed. “Needless to say, my only option was to run out of the castle, ferrets nipping at my heels, but luckily, Sweet Pea had returned from his gallop away from the goats. He was standing right outside the door, so I jumped on his back and off we went, leaving behind a lady I know will never want to lay eyes on me again.”
Wilhelmine rose to her feet, moved to stand in front of a bookshelf laden with the latest fiction novels of the day, and shook her head. “I have to admit, my dear, that I’m not certain the word harrowing does justice to what you experienced today, but not to fret. Even though you’ve clearly made a muddle of matters, I’m sure your sisters and I will be able to come up with a plan to salvage the misimpression Drusilla Merriweather undoubtedly has of you, a plan that will hopefully convince her you’re not a disreputable sort, even though telling a woman she needs to marry you suggests exactly that.”