Page 27 of A Lesson in Deceit (Mystic Riegan Duet #1)

My voice trailed off when I saw River’s eyebrows turn inward. He pulled his lips in and dipped his head down to really focus on me. “Most everything you do concerns me, gorgeous. You can be in your head about anything else, but not this.”

I shifted my gaze to Grayson, who was leaning back against the arm of the couch. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I huffed. “There is nothing to talk about.”

River nodded slowly, clucking his tongue.

He turned so that he was facing the TV, reaching for the remote on the coffee table.

“Okay, fine. We are ready to talk about whatever made you hesitate and want to stop whenever you are, only then can we consider continuing. For now, you can pick a movie you’d like to watch.

” He dangled the remote in front of me, the most casual look on his face.

I gaped at him, waiting for Grayson to say something, at least in my defense, but he said nothing.

I was still turned on, but I also kind of wanted to laugh at the current situation and what I’d just done to the mood.

I felt like I could breathe a little bit more now even though I was frustrated as hell at the predicament I’d currently placed myself in.

I stood up abruptly, gaining their immediate attention. “I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?” Grayson called, when I’d made it to the stairs.

“I’ll be back, okay.” I repeated, taking the stairs two at a time until I was pushing open River’s bedroom door and collapsing on his bed.

I would assume most people in my position would think I was an idiot for ruining the moment.

I had two guys that thought the world of me and wanted to make me feel good in any and every way possible.

The dynamics of a threesome were difficult to wrap my brain around since I’d only ever watched them on the internet or read about them, but the thought of being with River and Grayson had me wanting to explore those dynamics.

I didn’t understand why I was subconsciously creating this rift in whatever tonight could have been.

Watching a movie and just doing things the way we used to would probably be for the best. They would happily put their needs aside just so that I was comfortable, but I had needs too. And I really, really wanted them. I just…fuck…

A knock sounded at the door and it opened slowly. River poked his head in, a tiny smile peeking out from the corner of his lips. “Hi.”

I pulled myself into a sitting position on his bed, grabbing one of his pillows and hugging it to my chest. “Hi.”

His eyes darted around his room. “Can I come in?”

“It is your room, ya know.”

He chuckled softly. “Mhmm, but if you want your space then I understand. Reading your mind would make this a hell of a lot easier to proceed.”

I brought my chin down on top of the pillow. “You said you wouldn’t do that, remember?”

He pushed the door open more, raising his hands up. “I know. And I won’t. It’s just me now, gorgeous, so can you at least tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

I chewed on my bottom lip. “Does he hate me? Do you?”

River’s face contorted into utter confusion. He closed the door behind him and rushed over to the bed, sitting beside me. “One, we could never hate you. And two, what the hell are you talking about?”

I groaned, letting my face fall into the soft cotton of the pillow.

My voice was muffled when I answered. “You guys were so ready for this. I was so ready for this, and I just fucked it up by freaking out.” I lifted my head up and looked at him.

“I liked it, I didn’t want it to stop. My head, it just…

I don’t really know what I’m doing, River. ”

River licked his lips, running his fingertips across his forehead as if he was trying to understand what I was saying.

He was considering my feelings and what all transpired downstairs.

His smile that showed his dimples made an appearance.

“There is no were ; we are still very ready for this. Let’s just settle that first. You fucked up nothing, Riley, as you can see I’m here trying to understand and Grayson is downstairs trying to figure out how many snacks he can get delivered so that you’ll want to be in the same room with us again. ”

I snorted. “He is not.”

River rolled his eyes. “You underestimate our affection for you.”

I threw the pillow at him and ran a hand down my face. “I don’t want you guys to think you did anything wrong.” I turned, bending my knee so I could prop it up on the bed and look at him straight on.

River flicked his eyes over to the door and then back at me.

“Don’t worry, he knows that now.” I knew he had just used his powers to tell Grayson what I’d said through his mind.

I opened my mouth, but he cut me off. “He’s not up here talking to you, so he deserves to know that you don’t hate him, just like we don’t hate you. ”

I hummed. “I just….in theory this was a good idea. I couldn’t help but imagine this moment sometimes and well, when it became reality, it was a little too real, I guess.

I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted you guys to touch me and for you to touch each other.

I want you to be happy while also…” I fingered the end of one of my braids. “Making me happy.”

River rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at the ceiling.

“Believe me, baby, we want to touch you. We want you to lean into that touch so much you are begging us to never stop. We want to make you happy, so let’s rewind and tell me what made you unhappy.

Or actually let’s go back to something you said earlier.

” He placed his hand gently on my knee. “You said that you didn’t really know what you were doing.

From where I was sitting, you were doing just fine, but clearly you think otherwise. ”

I placed my head in my hands, refusing to speak. I squealed when I felt hands gripping my thighs and pulling me across the bed. I peeked between my fingers, noticing River’s face much closer than it was before.

“If you want me to leave, I can, gorgeous. Just say the word.”

I dropped my hands, sighing. “No, don’t.”

He reached up and grazed his knuckles along my cheek, remaining quiet.

“I just meant that…I…we…” I took a deep breath and mentally counted to five.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever been with.

I only know how to be with you in that way and you know how I like things, you know how to make me feel good, you were…

my first.” I could feel my nerves increasing from being so open.

River had made our first time together an experience filled with a million kisses and way too many that’s what she said jokes that had me laughing and forgetting my nerves all together.

He stopped when I needed him to, going slow at first and checking in whenever I’d tense up or have an ounce of hesitation on my face.

River was all smooth talk and no filter, but in that moment, he was sweeter than I’d ever seen him.

He was pleasantly surprised that an hour later I was climbing on top of him and begging for him to let me be on top, which he eagerly obliged, watching me guide him where I wanted him.

I went at my own pace, while he sat back and let me seek my own pleasure. That was always his goal.

I trusted him. With my heart and with my body.

I wanted to trust Grayson too, but that was proving difficult.

My boyfriend’s laughter was soft, and he had this charming way of making any situation comfortably casual.

“I was and that’s an experience you and I share that is private to just us.

I like knowing that I got to understand your body, Riley.

You trust me enough to let out sounds you would probably think are embarrassing and you feel confident enough to tell me what you like or don’t like when we’re having sex so that your orgasms are authentic and utterly perfect. ”

I nodded. “You and I are really good together. I just…I want that same energy with Grayson.”

River kissed my forehead. “I don’t think you could recreate what we have with Grayson, but I do think you need to have your own thing beyond your friendship. The same sexual comfort you feel with me, you need to feel that with him and maybe….”

I tilted my head to the side. “What?”

“Maybe me being right there next to you isn’t allowing you to do what you need to do.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. “What are you talking about?”

He gripped my knee, jostling it from side to side. “If you’re up for it, how about you go downstairs and be alone with him. Have a little date or whatever.”

A laugh erupted from my throat. “You want me to go and be seduced by your best friend?”

He laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“Don’t sell yourself short, gorgeous. You can be very seductive when you aren’t even trying.

You want us to touch you, but you only really know what it means to be touched by me .

You’ve made it clear you want to have sex with both of us, but you’ve never really given yourself the chance to view Grayson in that way, so maybe it’s time you did.

” He got off the bed, my eyes following him.

“I won’t bother you, although I may creep in from time to time.

” He winked at me. “Only in Grayson’s mind though. ”

I licked my lips, jumping off the bed and pacing. “And if something happens…like things that don’t involve clothes?”

River pressed his lips together, hard. His eyes were crinkling at the corners a bit, which told me he was trying to stop himself from laughing. “I would assume you want him to do all those things…”

“Ugh, River it’s not funny…” My voice was anything but serious. I nearly wanted to laugh myself due to the fact that this situation was very high on the list of bizarre things to ever happen to someone.

My boyfriend gripped my shoulders, sliding his hands down my arms. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

If you want to kiss him, then do it. If you want to explore more than that, then go for it.

If this is the way that makes you comfortable, full of that sexy confidence I know you have and in return, at a later time, I get to make you come and then watch him also make you come, then by all means please get your ass downstairs. ”

I lightly shoved him back. “Okay, okay. I’m going to go downstairs, happy?”

River tapped his chin. “Hmm…will going downstairs make you happy? Remove me from the equation. Would you be happy to go spend this specific kind of alone time with him if I wasn’t your boyfriend and he wasn’t my best friend?”

I furrowed my eyebrows considering this.

I liked Grayson...a lot. He listened to me.

He knew nearly all of my favorite books and laughed at all of my jokes even when they weren’t funny.

He could actually discuss book to movie adaptations and even have shouting matches with me on why our fan cast was better than the others.

“Yeah…I would.”

River squinted at me, giving me one solid nod. He sauntered over to his bed, laying down and placing one of his arms behind his head. “Hmph, I had a feeling. Just take a minute and go downstairs when you’re ready, unless you’ve changed your mind because I can tell him to fuck off and go home.”

I hurried over to him and gave him a long kiss that left me a little breathless. “No! Don’t do that. I want this…. I want you and I want him.” I backed away, pushing my braids over my shoulder when I turned around.

“Oh and gorgeous?” River called before I could open the door.

I looked over my shoulder, curious.

He gave me an innocent smile. “Your pleasure turns me on, so if anything does happen, be loud for me, alright?”