Page 48
Story: A Lady’s Gambit
In the quiet of her room, she paused only to close the door behind her. Then, with a care that belied her eagerness, she broke the seal and unfolded the page, her heart already quickening in anticipation of the words within.
Pemberley
28 November 1811
My dear Miss Bennet,
Your letter gave me more than pleasure—it gave me hope.
Forgive the boldness of that confession.
I do not speak lightly, nor ever without due deliberation.
But when I read your words, there was something in them—some brightness of tone, some subtle warmth—that emboldened me to believe we might now write not as near strangers, but as two who begin to understand one another.
I remember the Meryton ballroom, the lights on your hair as you walked ahead of your sisters, half-smiling at some private thought. That is how I picture you now as I write.
I once thought I could command my heart, govern my inclinations with the same discipline I apply elsewhere. But it was folly. I have tried, and failed. There is no shame in that now, I think—not when failure leads me here, to you.
There are moments—quiet ones, between business and duty—when I find myself thinking of what it would be to speak with you freely, to listen as you challenge or amuse, and to see that quick intelligence lights your features once more.
I do not presume, but I do imagine—and perhaps it is that very imagining which sustains me most.
You say you are still learning how to speak what has weight.
If it comforts you at all, know that I am learning, too.
The courage to say what I feel has come slowly to me—but it grows stronger with every line I receive from you.
And in your words, I have found not only kindness, but something I once thought unattainable: companionship.
I shall be in Manchester for a few days for a matter of business. But if I may, I will write again upon my return to Pemberley. Unless, of course, you should prefer otherwise.
With all sincerity and admiration,
F. Darcy
This time, Elizabeth did not allow herself to reply at once.
From what her aunt Gardiner had advised in previous letters, it was considered both polite and proper to answer correspondence in a timely manner—but a young lady ought not to seem too eager, too prompt, too impatient.
She ought, at the very least, to let the gentleman wonder a little.
She did not wish to speculate too much on what business might have taken Mr. Darcy to Manchester, though she reasoned it might offer an excellent excuse to delay her own reply.
And yet the act of delaying it cost her dearly.
She restrained herself with effort, resisting the strong impulse to put pen to paper immediately.
Instead, she read his letter again and returned it to the drawer where she kept her private correspondence, as though the act of closing it might quiet her thoughts.
What passed in the house held little power to engage her.
Jane often gave her a knowing smile; Mr. Bennet observed her with a silent, encouraging gaze; and Mrs. Bennet had begun to direct her energies toward ensuring her younger daughters did more reading—having resigned herself, it seemed, to the idea that no new officers would pass through Meryton until the following autumn.
Ten days passed since the arrival of Mr. Darcy’s last letter, and Elizabeth began to feel each one as a trial in itself. The restraint she had determined upon proved more difficult than anticipated.
Time moved with unrelenting slowness. No matter how she occupied herself—with reading, with walks, or idle conversation—her thoughts drifted again and again to Derbyshire.
She questioned her own words, wondering whether she had erred in tone or judgment—too guarded, too forward, too hasty, too revealing.
The uncertainty plagued her more than she had expected.
At last, she could bear it no longer. Pride gave way to honesty—and she wrote.
Longbourn
13 December 1811
Dear Mr. Darcy,
Your latest letter did not surprise me, and yet I find myself strangely affected by it.
I do not mean to alarm you—you have not presumed. Quite the opposite. If I appear hesitant, it is not because I doubt you, but because I still struggle to understand how our acquaintance has come to this gentle unfolding, when once it seemed destined only for disagreement.
Your memory of the ballroom startled me, for I recall that moment very well. To be so seen—to be known in my particularities and still held in esteem—is a gift I neither expected nor felt I had earned.
There are moments in life—rare ones—when truth meets readiness, and the heart is willing to hear what once it might have rejected. Your letter reached me in such a moment.
I shall not pretend to be unaffected. Your words moved me more than I can easily express.
To be so seen—to be known in my particularities, and still esteemed—is a gift I had not expected, nor thought myself entirely deserving of.
That you should offer it so unreservedly leaves me humbled and grateful.
I have not always understood you. There were times when I was too quick to judge, too fond of my own perceptions. But I have come to see not only what you are, but who you are—and I find myself drawn to that person more with each passing thought.
If you are constant, I will be open. If your regard continues, mine will not falter. And if ever the time comes when our words need no letters between them, I think I shall not regret a single one we have exchanged.
Write again, Mr. Darcy. Not only may you, but I would have you do so—lest you mean to leave me wondering, perhaps forever what thoughts you carried away from that day, and all the days since.
Yours—still cautious, but no longer uncertain,
Elizabeth Bennet
***
Mr. Darcy’s presence in Manchester had not been strictly necessary—his steward might easily have inspected the goods arriving at port for the Pemberley estate.
But being away from his familiar surroundings offered him the opportunity for deeper thought.
His exchange of letters with Miss Elizabeth Bennet had been both heartening and valuable, yet it had become painfully clear that such correspondence, however eloquent, could no longer suffice.
Mr. Darcy longed for her presence—for the light in her eyes, whether sparked by joy, wit, or the fires of indignation.
He wished to see her restrain her temper in the face of injustice, or to lose herself in the unselfconscious grace of a ballroom dance.
There was an ease in her movement, a sincerity that set her apart—while others stepped through reels as if burdened with invisible weight, she danced as though the music belonged to her.
No letter, however carefully written, could truly contain the fullness of what he wished to express. The time for letters had passed; a new course was to be taken.
Upon returning to Pemberley, Mr. Darcy gave swift instructions to his steward and confirmed staff matters with Mrs. Reynolds.
He then ensured that Georgiana was content with her embroidery lessons.
At last, withdrawing to his study, he seated himself at the desk and sorted through the correspondence awaiting his attention.
When he found the letter bearing Elizabeth’s hand, he unfolded it carefully and read every line with deliberate attention, allowing her words to settle deep within him.
He paused, fingers resting lightly on the page, as if to absorb its warmth.
Then, with quiet resolve, he reached for paper and pen—and began his reply.
Pemberley, Derbyshire
19 December 1811
My dear Miss Bennet,
If I knew how to write with less feeling, perhaps I might write more wisely. But when I sit down to address you, I find the page unwilling to accept anything less than truth. I must be candid, or not write at all.
You asked what thoughts I carried from that ball, and all the days since.
I confess I carry them still. They come with me in silence and in company, in the quiet between conversations, and in the unguarded moments I once believed myself immune to.
Your words—your look, your laughter—return to me with a vividness I had not thought memory could possess.
I know not what the future holds. I can only assure you that my regard is not a passing inclination, nor my admiration the product of proximity or novelty. It is rooted in something deeper. I have come to cherish not only your wit and spirit, but your kindness, your honesty, and your strength.
If I am too bold in expressing it, I beg your forgiveness. I can offer no promise but this: that my intentions are constant, my respect profound, and my heart yours, if you should ever wish it.
Yours, with all sincerity,
F. Darcy
Post-scriptum
Next time I see you I would like you to answer me a question.
***
Snow fell softly that Christmas morning—broad, gentle flakes like a quiet benediction over the land. The Bennet family were preparing to attend church.
A knock sounded at the door. Mr. Bennet, who happened to be in the hall, opened it to find James smiling up at him, cap in hand and a letter extended proudly.
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Bennet,” the lad said with the self-importance of a young herald.
“Merry Christmas to you, James,” Mr. Bennet returned with genuine amusement. “A letter, is it? I was under the impression the Royal Post rested on Christmas Day.”
“It does, sir—but I do not. This is a special delivery for Miss Elizabeth. I was told to place it directly in her hands.”
“Well, well. Lizzy!” Mr. Bennet called out, his voice bright with curiosity. “Our favourite courier has a missive just for you.”
Elizabeth appeared puzzled and intrigued. Holiday letters were rare indeed.
“Merry Christmas, Miss Elizabeth,” James said, bowing with enthusiasm.
“And to you, James,” she replied, smiling.
“This is for you, miss—and I am to deliver it only into your hands and await your reading.”
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