Page 73 of A Hunt Bound in Blood

Kalla shrugged. “That’s fine. Nothing wrong with taking pleasure where you find it. But somehow I doubt your relationship is over. Will it continue after this trip? Maybe not. But why wouldn’t you take advantage of someone sharing your bedroll while you can?”

Heat flared between my legs, my body refusing to listen to what my mind had already processed. Cammon and I couldn’t afford to lose focus. He didn’t tie himself to other people, and I… if I kept down this path, if I allowed my connection to take root more than it had, I didn’t think I’d cope well with losing him.

Ashara would never let me live this down. What would I tell her? That he’d seduced me by letting me ramble on about history without judgement? By filling in my knowledge gaps in that cave and getting us our most recent clue? By saving my life but giving me space to help him in return?

What right did he have to be so complex and layered and interesting? And kind on top of all that? It wasn’t fair.

I waited for regret to kick in about sleeping with him and making my life more complicated and was surprised when it didn’t. Last night had been a sweet release. A way to work off the rush of the attack on our camp and the fears that had risen thanks to those pursuing mutts. I would appreciate it for what it was and leave it at that.

Even while I argued with myself, I couldn’t deny the squeeze in my chest at the thought of distancing myself from him again. Despite all my efforts, the feelings I’d fought not to form for him existed, and I could only hope that if I didn’t feed those flames, they’d die out before we parted ways.

“Whatever,” Kalla said with a shrug. “You’ll do you. I’m just saying think about it. I’ve known you a single night, but I can already tell you’re a woman who has repressed her desires for a long, long, long time. I bet you don’t even know what your desires are anymore. You tell yourself you’re happy with your books, but is that what you want or is it just what you’ve convinced yourself you need?” She held up a hand as though to stop me from arguing with her, although I hadn’t been about to say anything, too stunned by her analysis. “Whatever you want to believe, go for it, it’s your life. But by the blood, Glory, you have to live that life, yeah? If you died tomorrow, would you be happy with how you’ve spent your time? Because I’ll tell you what—I am. Before Jael, I felt trapped under this mountain, but he made me realize that choosing something for myself had the power to open my whole world. So just… think about it. Whatever else comes, make sure you’re choosing what makes you happy.”

We reached an archway on the opposite side of the cavern from where we’d come in, and Kalla threw her arms around me in a tight, intimate hug. “All right, here we go. Best of luck to you. If ever you’re out this way again, feel free to stop by and say hi. I promise we’ll let you come through without trying to kill you.”

I opened my mouth to thank her, but just like Thorn, the vampire was gone. That woman was a whirlwind. I hadn’t had time to process a word of what she’d said and had now missed my chance to respond.

My heart lurched on not finding Cammon behind me, and I scanned the crowd, heaving a breath of relief when I spotted him striding towards me. Where had he been?

“Everything all right?” he asked when he reached my side, his eyes downturned with concern.

I laughed. “I think so? Probably?” I shook my head to put the chaos behind me. “Where did you go?”

“I’ll fill you in as we walk.” He gestured towards the tunnel. “Shall we?”

I took a deep breath before taking my first step towards the last leg of our journey. My last days with Cammon. With him standing beside me, his towering height and broad mass filling my vision and warming my skin, my resolve to reclaim any emotional distance from him was tested. But I steeled myself, knowing what was at stake if I didn’t.

I also couldn’t shake Kalla’s advice. What would my life look like if I chose happiness? It was a scary question, the answer filled with uncertainty, but even scarier was the realization that I wasn’t sure I remembered what happiness was… at least, not outside the company of my beautiful demon prince. Someone who claimed his happiness involved a life untethered.

Where did that leave me?

Cammon

XXXII

The tunnel we followed out of the cavern was similar to the one we’d taken into it, but there was a marked improvement in not being surrounded by hostile vampires debating whether they should take a chunk out of me.

Instead, there was only Glory.

She was watching me, patiently waiting for me to explain where I’d run off to, and I frowned. “Thorn wanted to let me know her scouts returned. They found mutt tracks around the camp leading towards the mountains. A few bipedal footprints among the animal prints, but they couldn’t scent any blood to tell them if the source was human or not.”

“You think they belonged to whoever is controlling the mutts?”

“It’s likely.”

I didn’t add anything else, and Glory let the subject drop. She held up the enchanted lantern—the gift filled with light magic that wouldn’t risk setting our supplies on fire—and angled it towards our new map. While she studied our path, she drifted ahead of me, and I couldn’t look away from her. Strands of hair that had fallen from her loose bun danced against her nape, and the curve of her neck made me long to run my lips across it and taste the flutter of her pulse. Ignoring my desire, I kept my distance and allowed her to concentrate.

Her distraction gave me space to consider the changes of the last day. The news that my actions had been my own and not the bond’s. The exploration of Glory’s body. The way she was tamping down her emotions, giving them a weak, bland flavour.

Without the fogginess of arousal clouding my thoughts, I could accept that the first change was concerning. I’d resented my actions when I’d believed them to be because of the bond, and I had no idea how to feel about them now. In all my years, I’d never met anyone who made me think committing myself was worth the time or aggravation. The opinions about love I’d shared with Glory were true: in Karhasan, love was a weakness. Not that demons couldn’t fall in love—we did, and when we did we loved with everything we had. It was not in a demon’s nature to do anything in moderation. But I was a prince. Love was a liability. Better to marry for alliance and keep my heart to myself.

My parents had certainly never felt more than respect for each other. I couldn’t remember any longing looks or casual touches. They rarely shared a room unless the future of the country was being discussed.

I had no experience with deeper emotional connections and had never held a wish to explore one. Glory knew that. She had to have gone into last night knowing it would only be sex, and her reined-in emotions made me think she’d returned the focus of her desires back to her tiny library office. Although I knew it was for the best, the thought of leaving what we’d shared at one night made my bones ache.

But maybe it didn’t have to be one night. We still had quite a few nights left before our journey reached its end. More than a few days to pick at the knots where thoughts and feelings tangled together.

Unable to sit with that particular complication any longer, I instead considered Thorn’s warning, specifically the part I had yet to share with Glory.