Page 33

Sarah was snug in bed but was not yet asleep.

She was reliving each of her husband’s kisses and happily planning which gowns to bring on her wedding trip, which was in a little more than a fortnight.

Nelly would be married in a week and a half and would return from her own time off before Aunt Venetia’s party.

Sarah would have to tell Christopher that they needed a footman to accompany them on their journey so that Guy could come too.

It would be terrible for Nelly and Guy to be parted from each other so soon after their marriage.

Closing her eyes, Sarah sighed in blissful contentment until she heard a loud knock on her door. She bolted up in bed. “Come in.”

Nelly peered through the crack of the door with a candle that illuminated her face. “Miss Deborah’s taken a horse and run away! I was with Guy, and we saw her leaving the stable. This country isn’t safe at night, and the miss doesn’t know her way about.”

Sarah flung off her coverlet and swung her feet onto the floor. “Wake every servant, from the butler to the batman. I want every candle and lantern lit for the search party.”

“Right away,” Nelly said, closing the door behind her.

Sarah didn’t bother with a robe but pulled a loose day dress over her head and slipped on her stockings. Tugging on her boots, she quickly tied them before going through the dressing room to Christopher’s bedchamber. He stirred at the light from her candle or the sound of her steps.

“Is everything all right?”

Her eyes burned with unshed tears, and her throat felt scratchy. She shook her head. “Deborah has taken a horse from the stables and run away, and it’s my fault. I told you not to go after her. I thought I was giving her time to cool off her temper. I never dreamed—”

Christopher hopped out of bed, and his arms encircled Sarah before she could finish that sentence.

He gave her a sweet kiss on her brow. “Nay, dove. ’Tis not your fault.

If it’s anyone’s fault, it is mine. I have been the doting brother and not her guardian.

I have not disciplined her or made her change her poor behavior. ”

Sarah swallowed heavily. “What if—what if she doesn’t come back? Like my mother?”

Her husband cupped her face with one hand and caressed her hair with the other. “We will find Deborah and your mother. You are no longer alone. You will never be alone again.”

Sniffling, Sarah let out a watery chuckle. “Not with a half dozen children.”

With his thumb, Christopher wiped a tear from her cheek. “And a husband who esteems you higher than anyone else in the world.”

Her breath caught. Christopher esteemed her.

It was more than she had ever hoped for.

Mama had told her to pick a wealthy and titled man who controlled his temper, drinking, and gambling.

The best she had expected was a husband who treated her with respect.

She had never considered that she could be esteemed.

She hadn’t wanted to be loved, if that meant a life like her mother’s.

One in which her husband hounded her every movement and demanded to know everything she said.

But Christopher had taught her that Papa’s love wasn’t love at all.

Love meant putting a person’s needs before one’s own, like Christopher had done with his sisters.

Love meant time. Lots and lots of time. Playing hide-and-seek and quoits. Talking about everything and nothing. Swimming in cold rivers and riding on hot days. Attending inane picnics and snobby dinner parties.

“And I cherish you,” Sarah whispered.

Christopher brushed his lips against her forehead. “Let’s find Deborah.”

He released her to pull on his breeches and took off his nightshirt to replace it with a shirt. His buttons were not in order, but this was hardly the time to fix such a thing. Tugging on his boots, he asked, “Who told you she ran away?”

“Nelly. I’ve had her wake every servant in the house and told her to light every candle and lantern.”

Nodding, he got to his feet and took her gently by the elbow. “Deb can’t have gone too far.”

Christopher opened the door, and they walked down the stairs together. Sarah’s heart was beating very fast, but this time she was not alone. She could feel the warmth of Christopher’s touch.

Guy met them at the bottom of the stairs.

He gave them a sharp bow. “Sir, my lady, all the grooms have mounted horses, and the rest of the servants and gardeners have lanterns. Mr. Wigan has directed them to form a circle around the house and walk straight forward so that every square inch of the grounds will be covered. And everyone has a whistle. If they find Miss Deborah, they are to blow it.”

Christopher dropped his hold on her elbow. “Very well organized, sir. I shall saddle a horse and ride with the grooms.”

Guy nodded and said quietly, “We have done this before.”

“What do you want me to do?” Sarah asked.

Christopher turned back to her and kissed her cheek. “Stay here in case she circles back.”

Sarah nodded and watched both Guy and the man she cared for most in the world walk out of the house and into the dark night.

The only light in the entry hall were the two lanterns that Mr. Wigan put out every night for her mother.

Sinking down until she sat on a step of the main staircase, Sarah couldn’t believe that someone she cared about had gone missing again.

Perhaps she had been too hard on Deborah.

Young girls made many mistakes, particularly when they were trying to fit in with the popular crowd.

She’d certainly done many silly things in school.

She wanted desperately to teach both of her sisters-in-law that the best way to be accepted was not to be exclusive but inclusive.

To dazzle the world with kindness. Mayhap she had expected too much too soon from the headstrong young girl.

Sighing, she thought of Margaret. She did not wish for her to be burdened by guilt for the part she’d played this evening.

Deborah had thrown a tantrum, and Margaret, so often the target of her sister’s frustrations, had finally stood up for herself.

But if they were not able to find Deborah or if she were injured, Sarah knew that poor Margaret would blame herself, just as Sarah had blamed herself for her mother’s disappearance.

She would need to make sure that she gave Margaret extra love and attention.

Christopher had helped Sarah work through her own guilt and made her realize that people were responsible for their own actions.

Papa had spent Sarah’s dowry. Mama had lost her temper and ridden off without her groom at sunset.

The same could be said of Deborah. She was still a child, but she was the only person to blame for running away at night on a borrowed horse in a countryside that she did not know well.

Picking up her candle, Sarah got to her feet and went back up the stairs. She knocked quietly on Margaret’s door.

A few moments later, she heard a groggy voice say, “Come in.”

Opening the door, Sarah entered the room and saw that Margaret had sat up in her bed.

Sarah went to sit on the side of the bed. “I don’t want to alarm you, Margaret, but Deborah has taken a horse and run away. All the servants and gardeners are out looking for her.”

Margaret’s face paled to the color of milk. “I am to blame.”

Sarah took her hand. “It is not your fault. Deborah threw a tantrum and then made a poor choice. She is the only person at fault.”

“But I—I shouldn’t have lost my temper with her.”

Squeezing Margaret’s hand, Sarah said, “Then, you will apologize when she returns. I thought perhaps you might wish to wait with me downstairs until we have any news.”

“Of course.”

Margaret put on her robe, and the pair returned to the main hall.

It was eerily shadowed in the night. The only sounds were the steady ticks of the wound-up clock.

They sat on two chairs by the window and watched, waiting for news.

Sarah could see little lights in the distance getting farther and farther from the house.

One hour passed.

Then two.

Despite the hour being well after midnight, Sarah was wide awake, her heartbeat quick and unsteady.

Another hour passed.

Sarah rocked back and forth in her chair, even though it was not a rocking chair. She could not seem to hold still.

Nearly another hour had passed when Mrs. Harmony and Nelly led the servant women back into the house. Sarah got to her feet and rushed to her side. “Did you find her?”

Her dear maid shook her head. “She’s not on the grounds.

We searched every cranny from the house to the outer fences.

She may be in one of the fields, but the dogs caught her scent close to the road.

Mr. Moulton and the grooms are searching the south area, near the forest and the main pike road and the river. ”

“And they sent you back to the house?”

“Yes, my lady,” Nelly said, using the honorific. “We women are exhausted, and there was nothing else we could do right now. Not in the dark.”

Sarah touched her friend’s arm. “Of course. You were right to come back. Go to bed and sleep in as long as you need.”

Mrs. Harmony curtsied to her. “We’ll be up with the dawn to keep searching. Don’t you worry, Lady Sarah; we will find her this time.”

In her mind, Sarah added, Not like last time . Mechanically, she thanked them all and watched as they shuffled to the back of the house to take the stairs in the servants’ quarters to the attic. The poor women looked exhausted and still needed to climb two flights of stairs.

Where could Deborah have gone? What had she hoped to prove by tonight’s escapade? How were they going to find her?

Margaret got to her feet and walked toward Sarah. “Should we go to bed as well and search for Deborah in the morning? Tomorrow I wish to be useful and not simply sit and wait.”

“Of course.”