Page 30 of A Hidden Hope
“I’m not so much up but out. I’ve been studying for the boards and needed a break before I call it a night.
I always go outside before I hit the sack.
It’s like nature calls to me, reminding me of its awe.
” He craned his neck to look up. “So many stars. It’s always soothing to be in the presence of things greater than myself. ”
Evie nearly swooned at that. How many guys did she know who had such deep thoughts? None. Charlie was one of a kind. A question popped out of her mouth, unfiltered. “Why did you become a doctor?”
He snapped his head back, caught off guard. “You think I’m not cut out for it?”
“No, that’s not—”
“It’s fine, Evie. You wouldn’t be the first to say it.”
“Seriously! That’s not what I meant.” She hunted for the right words. “It’s just ... sometimes I get the sense you’d be just as happy as a forest ranger or construction worker, or—”
“A clown.”
“A clown?”
“That’s what I wanted to be when I was six.”
She grinned. “I was thinking more like outdoorsy, hands-on work.”
“I like that too.” He lifted a foot onto the bottom plank of the fence, leaning his forearms on the top. “But I’d always had this secret longing to be a doctor, ever since I was a kid.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “After the clown stage, I mean.”
“So why a doctor?”
“Same reason I like construction work. I like fixing things. Making things better.” He turned to face her.
“This might sound a little cheesy, but I felt called to it. Called by God. Being a doctor just seems like a way to be God’s hands, to help him do his best work—healing people.
Helping them when they suffer, or hurt, or grieve. ”
He shifted his gaze back to the pasture.
“The thing is, school was always a struggle for me. Like, ‘barely scraping by’ kind of tough. Holding my breath at the end of each school year to see if I’d get promoted to the next grade.
I learned early on to set my expectations low to avoid disappointment.
Like, basement low.” He coughed a laugh.
“Then Wren showed up halfway through high school. When she found out I wanted to be a doctor, she practically made it her mission to make sure it happened—whatever it took. Honestly, I’m not even sure if she wanted to be a doctor herself as much as she wanted to see me become one.
If it weren’t for her, I’m not sure I would’ve made it through college or med school.
Determined is an understatement when it comes to her.
I’m guessing you’ve already picked up on that. ”
“I have,” Evie said. Boy, had she noticed.
“Maybe relentless is a better word. She’s like a force of na ture. Smart, beautiful, and always in charge.” He flashed a grin. “And amazingly, here I am.”
Evie had to look away. So Wren was the reason Charlie had become the remarkable man he was today. Knowing that loosened up the tight knot of frustration with Wren. Just a little.
How could she wish away the very person who had helped him fulfill his dream?
But it still stung. A lot. He seemed so dependent on Wren, and hearing him describe her as smart, beautiful, and always in charge? Ouch. Even if it was true ... and it was.
The bigger question jabbed at her: Would Wren always hold the reins in Charlie’s life? And more importantly, would Charlie always want her to?
But Charlie, gently stroking the horse between its ears in a way that practically made it purr like a contented cat, had no clue the swirl of thoughts running through Evie’s mind.
“I love being a doctor,” he said. “Being here, seeing the kind of work that Dok does, only makes me love it more. Every single day, I’m doing what I love.
It’s the best job in the world. It’s all about helping people. ”
Evie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. If only he’d stop being so giving ... so caring. Charitable Charlie.
“But it’s still not easy for me. I have to work twice as hard as everyone else.
Probably always will. Helps me to ‘stay humble and stay hungry.’” Charlie sighed, long and deep, and pushed the bridge of his glasses up.
“And that’s assuming I can actually pass the boards so I can get licensed and practice medicine someday.
” He turned to her. “So what about you? Why are you a nurse?”
She cast her mind back, to long before nursing school, all the way back to the first moment she remembered loving being a caregiver.
“My grandparents needed help. Their bodies were, well, they were wilting. Withering. I ended up as their caretaker through their last years. I felt as if ... I made a difference.”
“Must’ve been hard. To watch the decline of people you love.”
“It was. But a good kind of hard. I’d promised myself that I would never turn away from someone’s pain, no matter how much I wanted to.”
He turned to her. “I believe that. I see that in you. I see your strength. You were born to be a nurse.” It seemed like he wanted to say something else, then decided not to. He pushed off the fence. “It’s late. Try to get some sleep, Evie. Morning will be here soon.”
She was still catching up with the idea that Wren was the reason he had made it through med school when she suddenly called out, “Charlie!”
He turned back, eyebrows raised.
“I think you’re a good doctor. A really good doctor.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Definitely.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “Good thing God doesn’t give up on us, huh?” Then he pivoted and continued on his way back to the buggy shop.
Evie watched him go, her thoughts returning to what he’d revealed about Wren. So she was the reason he was a doctor. There was a history between the two of them that Evie didn’t fully know, and it just made her feel ... defeated.
Wren and Charlie were so much more connected than she’d realized. Who was she to interfere? How dare she even want to?