Page 13 of A Guide to Ghosting (Monsters of Moonvale #3)

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A fter watching the inside of her summoning circle intently for a few minutes and nothing happening, Emma lets out a soft sigh. “Ah well, guess I didn’t have secret magic abilities waiting for me to discover them.”

I pat her shoulder. “Don’t say that. Could be that you do, but that you were wrong about the ghost.”

She makes a considering hum. “True… but I think it makes more sense that I’m not magical. I know you’ve been humoring me, but I really believe there’s a spirit in this house. Maybe there are some actual spirit mediums in town we could get in touch with…”

It’s strange, I should hate that idea, but after my conversation with Jessie, I don’t. I still don’t believe in ghosts, but I’m not as frightened of letting myself think about the bizarre things that’ve been going on. Telling someone else about what’s going on somehow made me feel less unhinged. She doesn’t think I’m crazy. Yes, I’ll still see if I can move up my appointment with the therapist I found, but I don’t need to torture myself while I wait.

“Sure. We can go to the new age shop tomorrow if you want and ask there.”

Emma’s eyes widen. “Wait, really ?”

“Yeah, why not?” I ask with a shrug. Going there again isn’t my idea of a fun activity, but Emma will love it.

She grins, her eyes sparkling with delight. “Hell yeah! You’re the best brother, you know that, right?” She pulls me into a hug and I squeeze her back, savoring the human contact.

“I’m okay,” I reply.

She smacks my arm playfully. “Shut up. You are.”

I stand and offer her a hand up off the floor. We survey the mess she’s made of my living room and her face scrunches up. “I’ll clean this up, since it was my idea. Go relax for a bit. Talk to whoever you couldn’t stop texting earlier,” she says with a wink.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind helping.”

“Go! But don’t think I’m not going to ask you a million questions about whoever it is you’re talking to later,” she adds.

I chuckle, trying to fight off a flush at the thought of telling her about Jessie. It’s way too soon to be talking to my sister about a woman I’ve never even been out on a date with yet. Plus, I know Emma. She’ll get all excited and invested, and when things inevitably don’t work out, she’ll be disappointed. “It’s just someone from that dating app. I’ll tell you about her if we ever end up going out.”

“Fine,” she says dramatically, then heads to the kitchen to grab a dishrag to clean the chalk off of the floor.

I get my phone from the couch and decide to go sit out on the back patio for a while, since Emma will most likely put on some loud pop music and belt along with it while she’s cleaning up. I love my sister, but even I can’t enjoy her out of tune wailing.

The air is still warm and muggy, even though the sun has set, so I unbutton my shirt before I sit down on the wicker couch left behind by the previous owner. Obnoxious pink and orange flowers cover the waterproof cushions and it’s not my style at all, but it serves its purpose. I’ll replace it, eventually.

I let myself enjoy the low chirps of crickets and the blinking fireflies dancing around the overgrown garden for a minute, then open my phone to text Jessie my update on the ghost situation. I must’ve accidentally opened the notes app when I set my phone down, and I’m about to close it, but my attention catches on one of the words in the note.

Sexy.

“What the?” I murmur, my pulse spiking as I read the whole note.

You look sexy when you come. I want to see it again. Tonight.

All the relaxation about my situation flies out the window, my heart hammering wildly in my chest. My eyes dart around the dark garden, futilely searching to see if someone is out here watching me.

“Hello?” I ask, into the dark.

A moment passes.

Another.

Then I feel it. A hand on my thigh, smaller than my own.

I screw my eyes shut and wait for the hallucination to pass. But it doesn’t.

Because… god dammit, I don’t want to believe it, but the realization hits me like lightning, and I gasp.

Because this isn’t a fucking hallucination! I didn’t disassociate in the five seconds I had between finishing my text to Jessie and joining Emma for the seance. There’s only one explanation, and it’s not that I’ve lost my mind.

I let out a hysterical laugh as I allow myself to accept the reality of my situation.

Ghosts are real.

“You’re real,” I whisper, and the hand squeezes my thigh in affirmation. “Holy shit, oh my god, oh fuck, you’re real .” All of the muscles in my body tense, ready to fight off the phantom or flee.

But like the last time, no attack comes. Instead, I swear I feel the air that would come from someone laughing puffing against my chest.

The ghost is real, and they’re laughing at me.

Some of my muscles untense at the sheer ridiculousness of that. “Pardon me for not believing that ghosts exist,” I grumble, and the hand on my thigh pinches me lightly in response, as if to say, “of course I’m real, dumbass.”

The hand slides further up my leg, and my breath catches. My eager dick starts to firm up in anticipation, but the ghost doesn’t touch it. Instead, they grab my phone. It’s surreal watching my phone float off of my lap and hover in the air beside me, and I watch in slightly terrified fascination as a new word appears in the notes app.

Hello.

A bubble of strained laughter bursts out of me. “That’s pretty tame for someone whose first message to me is that you want to see me come again—ouch!” I wince as the goddamn ghost kicks me in the leg.

I can revoke my offer.

“Point taken,” I hiss, rubbing at my shin.

Another puff of laughter against my skin.

“Who are you?” Suddenly, I remember that Emma has been calling this spirit a ghost grandma. “Did I get a handjob from an old lady? Not that I’m not grateful!” I add quickly, before I get another kick.

More words appear in the note.

I’m dead, but I wasn’t any older than you when I passed.

Relief washes over me. Nothing against grandmothers, but that’s way too big an age gap for me, even with a ghost. “Care to give me a name, then? If you’re not a ghost grandma, I’d like to know what to call you instead.”

There’s a long pause before more words show up on the screen.

You don’t seem like you’d be into Mommy, so Ghost is fine.

So she’s a woman. I’m sitting here while a ghost girl cracks jokes and kicks me in the leg. This has got to be real, because there’s no way my imagination would ever manage to be this vivid and oddly mundane. “Okay, Ghost.”

I want to fuck you.

I almost choke on my own spit, sputtering at her bluntness. “Right now?! My sister is inside and the neighbors could see!” I’d never be able to live down someone catching me dick out, humping the air like a lunatic.

Later. Are you okay with that?

My brows raise slightly in surprise at the question. I didn’t think a ghost would give a shit about my consent, but thinking back, she only touched me after I told her to give me a hand. I don’t know if Jessie would be okay with this, now that I know Ghost is real. “I… I don’t know. I need to talk to someone to make sure it’s okay.”

Is this someone your girlfriend?

I shake my head. “No, we’ve just been chatting. But I really like her. I don’t want to fuck things up.” I sigh and then laugh again at the absurdity of what’s going on. I haven’t been with a woman in years, and now I have one who I’m crushing on and a ghost who wants to be my fuck buddy.

I can’t believe I’m having this conversation. What is my life?

Part of me is tempted to run back inside and tell Emma everything that’s happening, but I can’t talk to her about this kind of thing. She’s my little sister. It’d be weird.

Ask. If she says it’s okay, leave your phone on the bedside table face up.

“This is crazy,” I mutter, scrubbing my face with my hand. I feel a tap on my shoulder a few seconds later and I look up to see what Ghost has written.

You think I don’t know that? I’m a ghost.

“Huh, right.” In all of this, I never stopped to think of her as anything more than a surreal entity. Knowing that she’s not some sex spirit only here to get off with unsuspecting men, but that she’s a person…

“I don’t think I can do it,” I say softly.

Do what?

“You know. Have sex. Don’t get me wrong, it was the hottest experience of my life, but I can’t risk ruining things with the girl I’m talking to. I’ve never dated two people at the same time.”

I find that hard to believe.

I shake my head. “It’s true!”

Also, we wouldn’t be dating. We’d be fucking.

If you decide to be exclusive, we’ll stop. I’ll be bored with you by then, anyway.

“Wow, okay, harsh.” I know I shouldn’t be offended, but it sucks that even a ghost thinks I’m someone that can be easily tossed aside. “Won’t that make things weird? I’ll have to move if things get serious with her. I can’t have the ghost I was hooking up with in the house with…” I trail off, realizing I’m getting way ahead of myself. Jessie and I haven’t been on a date. Why the fuck am I considering the logistics of what would happen if she wanted to live together?

Give the house to your sister if that happens. She’s hotter than you, anyway.

I scowl at the empty space by the phone, and I feel the breaths of her laughter again. How the hell does a ghost even exhale? Probably better not to think about it before I start to spiral about what is happening. “You’re not doing a great job of arguing your case,” I grumble.

You still want me. Your dick has been hard this whole time, hasn’t it?

I’m about to protest when Emma pops her head out the door with a quizzical look on her face. “Who are you talking to?”

I startle, like I’ve been caught doing something inappropriate. “Oh uh, just doing some affirmations.”

God, what a terrible lie. She’ll never believe?—

“Really? That’s awesome! What’s one of your affirmations?”

I’d think she’s trying to call me on my bluff, but she looks genuinely excited. “Oh! Uh, well… there’s one where I say… I deserve… I deserve to be… ah!” I jolt as Ghost slides the phone into my pocket, her fingertips brushing against my stiff length before she pulls away. I clear my throat as Emma gives me a perplexed look. “Sorry, I think something bit me. It’s ‘I deserve to be loved.’”

“That’s a great one, and absolutely true. You deserve so much love, Noah. You have the biggest heart and are the kindest person in the universe. Someone would be lucky to love you. It’ll happen.” There’s a sad, wistful gleam in her eyes that makes me think she’s talking about herself as well. “Now come inside before you get bitten again. The mosquitos can be vicious this time of year.”

I nod and give her a weak smile as she holds the door open for me to come back inside. I’m not sure if I believe her, but I certainly have more prospects for any kind of relationship with a woman than I did before.

Speaking of which, I should message Jessie before she thinks I got possessed or something.

Fuck, this is going to be the most awkward conversation of my life. Even more than the one I just had with a fucking ghost.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed, if that’s okay with you,” I say, adding a fake yawn and a stretch.

Emma laughs and pats my shoulder. “No problem, old man. I’m gonna go out for a bit, maybe check out that bar you mentioned.”

“I can go with you if you want,” I say, feeling bad for abandoning her to sort out my bizarre supernatural conundrum.

She waves me off. “Nah, if you’re there, how am I supposed to flirt with the cute locals?”

“Alright. Just be safe, okay? Take my house keys.”

“I will!” Emma says, already skipping over to grab the keys and her purse.

When she’s out the door, I head to my bedroom, stomach churning at the prospect of texting Jessie and the knowledge that Ghost could be watching me the entire time. I whip my head around, scanning the space behind me like that will do any good. My cock twitches, apparently into the feeling of being watched now that I know it’s a horny woman haunting me.

Sinking down onto the bed with a groan, I make myself face things head on.

Noah: Hey

Jessie: Well???

Noah: The seance didn’t work but I’m pretty sure the ghost is real.

There’s a long pause. There isn’t even an indication that she’s typing and I worry she’s already in the process of unmatching with me.

Finally, she replies.

Jessie: I knew it.

I scoff and quickly respond.

Noah: You did not!

Noah: Wait, you believe me?

Jessie: Sure, why not? It’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard from a guy.

Noah: Well, this might be. I know the ghost is real because she left a note for me on my phone when no one else would’ve been able to access it. And then she used it to talk to me!

Jessie: Holy shit. What did she say?

Noah: You’re not going to believe me. You’re going to think I’m some insane pervert.

Jessie: Who says I don’t already think that? Not the insane part, but you’re definitely a bit of a freak. You let a ghost give you a hand job.

I laugh at her assessment.

Noah: I did. And she wants to have sex now.

Jessie: She? The ghost is a girl, and she wants to fuck you?

Noah: I told her I couldn’t do it.

Jessie: What?? Why not?

I blink down at my phone. That was not at all the reaction I expected. Shit, is Jessie not into me like I’m into her?

Noah: Because, I don’t know, we’ve been talking, and I didn’t want to mess that up.

Jessie: I want you to listen to me and believe me when I say I’m 100% serious. Can you do that?

Noah: Yeah.

My stomach twists into a knot as I watch the dots showing she’s typing out a reply.

Jessie: You have my full support to fuck the ghost.

Jessie: I really like you and I want to see where this goes between us, but come on, it’s a ghost! You have to do it! Who gets that kind of opportunity?

I stare down at my phone in complete disbelief. The gorgeous, interesting woman who I’m into wants me to have sex with someone else.

Noah: It sounds like you want to fuck the ghost.

Jessie: Hell yeah, I do. Who wouldn’t? Ooo maybe if things go well between us, we could have a threesome.

I frown. Is this her way of bringing up that she has open relationships? She didn’t say anything about that on her profile.

Noah: You’re joking.

Jessie: Kinda. But also, not. I’m usually a one partner kind of girl, but a supernatural being is an exception.

Noah: So if you met a vampire, and we were dating, you’d want me to be cool with you fucking them?

Jessie: Ugh, no! I hate vampires. Maybe a werewolf though… no, too hairy.

Noah: You don’t seriously think either of those things exist, do you?

Jessie: Maybe! You’ve got a horny ghost wanting to hop on your dick. Who knows what’s out there?

Noah: Maybe a fairy that wants to finger you?

Jessie: Exactly! In which case, we could discuss if that’s okay. But like I said, you have my blessing. Not that you need it because we’re not a couple, but it was sweet of you to check.

Jessie: You’re not the worst.

I laugh, though my mind is reeling from her giving me the green light.

Noah: High praise.

Noah: I guess it is just sex…

Jessie: Spectral sex. You have to tell me everything. Damn, the more I think about it, the hotter that sounds. I bet ghosts can do all kinds of weird shit.

Noah: Now who’s the freak?

Jessie: Never said I wasn’t.

Jessie: Now get off your phone and get off with your ghost.

More strained laughter bubbles out of me. I’m still stuck in disbelief that not only are ghosts real, but one wants to fuck me, and the girl I’m chatting with is encouraging it. When I said I wanted to start fresh in Moonvale, this wasn’t exactly what I’d imagined. Still, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited.

Noah: Yes, ma’am.

Jessie: Good boy.