Page 29 of A Girl Like Janet

His all-male smile seemed to reach across the distance of the room and caress her. Janet basked in the warmth of its glow.

“Thank you,” he offered simply.

She took the plain envelope and turned to leave.

“On your way out would you ask Christy to come into my office? I’d like to go over some things with her.”

Her hands coiled at her sides, Janet walked out of his office, and out of his life.

Christy gave her a funny look and Janet realized that she probably looked ashen. Two years of her life were over, gone.

“Janet, are you okay?”

She shook her head as if to snap herself out of the self-imposed trance. “Sure.” She paused before adding, “Mr. Edwards would

like to see you.”

Christy automatically reached for her pencil and pad and knocked politely before stepping into the other room. Janet was grateful

for these last minutes alone. This room was filled with memories, and she wanted a couple of minutes to privately make her

farewells.

Her fingertips ran lightly over the top of the Simplex. A wealth of recent reminiscences came to mind. A smile toyed at her

mouth. How silly she had been to allow this machine to frighten her so. The typewriter, her trusted friend, now was stationed

in a corner. Janet only used it to type envelopes these days.

Gail arrived a few minutes later and stuck her head in the door. “Are you ready?”

Janet looked up, surprised at the intrusion. “Yes, I think so.” She took her coat down and after one final sweeping look at

the room turned and left without a backward glance.

Several friends stopped to wish her well on her way to the elevator. By the time they arrived at the parking lot, tears had

welled in her eyes.

“Regrets?” Gail glanced at her as they got into the car and turned the ignition key.

“Lots,” Janet admitted truthfully. “When I left before, I didn’t have time to think about all the friends I was going to miss,

or the consequences of my actions. Now that the time has finally come for me to leave, I can’t help asking myself if I’m really

doing the right thing.”

“Are you?” Gail’s voice was heavy with concern.

“Yes.” The lone word was expelled with a sudden rush of pain. “Yes,” she repeated, “I’m sure.”

Joel sat between Janet and her mother during the church service Sunday morning. Restlessly he twisted and turned, crossed,

then uncrossed his legs. Loudly he dropped the hymnal. Finally Janet took the book out of his hands.

“What’s the matter with you today?” she whispered irritably. “You’re acting like you’ve got ants in your pants.”

Joel giggled. “I’m looking for Mr. Reese.”

A cold numbness spread over her and she forced herself to smile. “I doubt that he’ll be coming back. Now pay attention.”

Joel cast her an accusing glare. “No, he’s coming. He told me he was coming. If he doesn’t, it’s your fault.”

Her fault. Janet sighed as her brother’s words seemed to touch off a swarm of guilty feelings. For years Janet had worried

about her Christian witness. She wasn’t like her father; she was uncomfortable standing before a group or teaching. She worried

that she would never effectively share her faith as she wanted. Shortly after she had made a complete commitment to Christ,

her father had explained that not every Christian could be a preacher. But every Christian was a witness. Now she must be

satisfied that her faith had been her witness to Reese. Somehow it seemed so inadequate.

As the congregation stood to sing the closing hymn, Joel stood on the pew and turned around to look out over the people. With

a swift jerk, Leonora Montgomery brought him down.

“He’s here,” he informed Janet with a satisfied smirk. “I told you he would be.” Content now, Joel opened the hymnal and began

singing loudly.

Reese here? At church? Surely Joel was mistaken. If she was cold and numb before, now she felt like a statue, rooted to one

spot. Her father offered the final blessing and ended the service and still Janet stood immobile, unable to turn around.

“Aren’t you going to say hello?” Joel chastised, pulling at her coat sleeve.

“Another time,” she said in a tortured whisper. She moved out of the pew and down the long aisle in a reflex movement. Purposely

she delayed leaving the church as long as possible, making excuses to chat with old friends and acquaintances. When the church

was empty, she moved the hymnals to the end of the pews in the back rows. The job was usually done by the ushers after the

evening service, but there were seldom enough people to fill the church Sunday evenings.

“Hello, Janet.”

Her heart skipped a beat. As if in slow motion, she finished bringing the last red hymnal to the end of the pew before looking

up.

“Hello, Reese.” She clenched her Bible to her breast with both hands.

“Could we talk a minute?”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Us.” He chuckled. “And before you can say it, yes, there is an us.”

Janet took a step backward and Reese advanced into the pew. He was so close, she could smell the musk aftershave he wore,

so close she could read something in his eyes she had never before witnessed.

The back of her legs were pressing into the hard wooden seat and because it was impossible to go farther, Janet sat down.

Reese moved to sit beside her and reached for her hand. “I find it fitting that we should have this discussion in church,”

he said, concentrating his eyes on her hands. He hesitated before continuing. “I love you, Janet.”

“No.” The word was sharp and filled with disbelief. Why was Reese doing this? Did he want to hurt her even more? She yanked

her hands free and rushed into the foyer.

Reese followed, stopping her just before she reached the huge double-door entry. “I’m not going to let you run away.”

Her face was flushed and it felt like her whole body was trembling. Tears blurred her eyes as she studied the worn rust-colored

carpeting.

“Look at me,” he demanded, a finger lifting her chin so that their eyes could meet. “I expected some kind of reaction when

I said I loved you, but not tears.”

“Don’t lie to me,” she snapped angrily. “How can you say you love me?”

A smile threatened to crack the hard line of his mouth. “If you want the truth, it wasn’t that easy. I should have told you

how I felt months ago.” He paused and pushed a hand through his dark brown hair. “If I hadn’t been so blind, I would have

recognized what was happening between us.”

“How can you claim to love me when you think I’m a hypocrite?”

“A hypocrite?” He hurled the word back at her disbelievingly. “You’re the most genuine person I’ve ever met.”

Janet whirled around and started out the door. She wasn’t going to listen to his lies, not when she had seen the evidence

of his true feelings with her own eyes.

“Janet.” He reached the door before she did, blocking her path.

“Don’t lie to me, Reese Edwards. I found the caricature. I know exactly what you think of me.”

“You saw?” Janet could feel the tension flow out of him. “My love, if you’d only asked me at the time I would have explained

why I drew you as I did. I picture you as an angel God has sent into my life to show me His love. Yet at the same time, a

devil because you tempt me more than any woman.”

“Don’t confuse physical desire with love.” She remained defensive because it was impossible to believe what he was saying.

“My dear Janet, after the way I’ve lived my life, believe me, I know the difference. What I feel for you is genuine.”

Still unsure and afraid, Janet studied his face, every groove, every line, fearing what she would find. Instead she read confirmation

in the shining light of his eyes.

“Oh, Reese,” she whispered, and pressed a hand to her forehead. “I’ve loved you so long.”

Instantly she was drawn into his arms as he buried his face in her hair. His arms surrounded her, crushing her close. “I thought

I’d lost you,” he breathed in deeply. “For a horrible minute I feared it might be too late.” Tenderly he kissed the top of

her head and relaxed his hold. “Let’s sit down, there’s so much to explain.”

A single pew ran the length of the foyer. With a hand at her waist, Reese led her to the seat.

Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, Reese rubbed his face. “I’m not exactly sure where to begin.”

Janet placed a comforting arm over his back. “It’s not necessary, there’s no need for you to tell me anything.”

The look he gave her told Janet that if they hadn’t been in a church he would have reached over and greedily kissed her. “It’s

necessary, at least it is for me.”

Knowingly Janet nodded.

“I once told you I was a model child. I was. As an only child, I felt it was my duty not to worry my parents. I was close

to both, eager to please, eager to satisfy. Dad was grooming me to take over the business and I went off to college carefree,

my future assured. I’d only been gone a few months when my mother arrived on campus to tell me she and Dad were getting a

divorce. I was stunned. As far as I knew, my parents were happily married. Within a year my mother was dead. I’m convinced

she died of a broken heart. The problem was they were both so stubborn. Neither of them wanted the divorce, yet neither one

was willing to admit fault. After Mom died, Dad changed. The guilt he carried was so heavy I sometimes wondered if he would

ever be the same father I’d known. In a matter of months my safe, secure world was shattered. I watched as my classmates married

and divorced. Again and again I witnessed the breakdown of the family. Long ago I’d decided loving someone was too painful.

I dated and used a certain type of woman because I knew there was never any danger of my falling in love with them. I was

too sensible to love a Bunny Jacobs or a Barbara Martin. I realize now how wrong it was to use them that way.”

Their hands entwined, Janet sighed and hung her head. “I was terribly jealous of every one of your blonde dates. When I ordered

them flowers or jewelry it was like a part of me died inside.”

Reese raised her hand and gently kissed her knuckles. “I’m thirty-four; one would assume that by now I would be smart enough

to know the difference between love and sex. I did know I was unhappy. There seemed to be this hole in my life, a void. That

was why I bought the cabin. In my own way I was seeking God, seeking an answer to my own restlessness, and an answer to my

father’s guilt. I firmly believe God sent you into my life for this reason.”

“In the beginning the feelings you had for me were only physical, weren’t they?” It hurt to ask, but Janet felt she had to

know.

“Yes, I admit my invitation for you to spend the night was cheap. I’ve thought about that several times since and wondered

how you’ve put up with me.”

Happiness radiating from her deep blue eyes, Janet met his gaze and smiled. “It’s easy when you love someone.”

Reese gently lifted a strand of hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Everything changed after the day

you and Joel were with me at Black Hawk. Your faith touched me unlike anything I’ve known. I’ve always thought of Christians

as goody-goody types who go around issuing meaningless platitudes. Not you, not Joel. When your brother was born you didn’t

leap in the air and shout praises to God. You struggled and came to terms with his disability just as I’m sure your parents

did in their own way. Meeting Christianity face to face like that shook me. I did the only thing I’ve known for the past few

years. I ran and hid. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on your face when you confronted me that next week—confusion,

hurt, pride. I could have kicked myself afterward, but I didn’t know what else to do. I’ve been ready for a long time for

your love, Janet. Ready to commit my life to the Lord. Now I’m ready to commit my love to you.”

He stood and offered her his hand. “I feel that since we’re in church God should be our witness.”

Hand in hand, they walked up the center aisle of the church and knelt at the altar. Kneeling beside her, Reese brought out

a diamond engagement ring from his pocket. “Will you share my life, Janet?”

The lump of wondrous joy blocked her throat, so that all Janet could do was nod.

Gently, Reese lifted her hand and slipped the ring on her finger. Their hands joined and their heads bowed as each offered

a prayer of dedication to one another and to God.

When Janet lifted her face tears of happiness had filled her eyes. Ever so gently, Reese folded her into his arms. “I love

you. I’ll love you all my life.”

“And I, you.”

Together they stood, arms looped around each other’s waist. “I think we should go outside. I know two anxious sets of parents,

and one brother, who are waiting for the results.”

Janet sighed contentedly and laid her head against his shoulder. “Your father’s in on this too?”

“Oh yes, both Dad and I have had this great need in our lives. The first thing your father—”

“My dad?” she questioned in open astonishment.

“Yes, your dad. He sat us both down, told us about the free gift of salvation and the price Christ paid to make us that offer.

Later he sent us home to memorize 2 Corinthians 5:17.”

“And did you?” Janet asked with an amused grin.

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new.”

He said it confidently. “I am a new man, Janet. A new man in Christ, a new man in your love.”

Joel was in the parking lot when they walked out of the church. “Did you ask her?” He raced to Reese’s side breathlessly.

Without waiting for Reese to respond, Janet held out her finger, the solitary diamond sparkling a rainbow’s array of color.

“Didn’t I tell you, Janny,” Joel declared proudly. “Mr. Reese told me the first Sunday he came to church that he’d be back

every Sunday to sit with you because he wanted to marry you.”

“That was your secret?” Janet questioned.

“And I didn’t tell anybody.”

Arms looped around these two men she loved, Janet proceeded to the parsonage, where her parents and future father-in-law were

waiting.

Unexpectedly the sun broke through the thick layer of gray clouds and burst forth over the earth, boldly casting its rays

on the three as they walked. Janet paused and glanced to the sky, a tear in her eye. It was almost as if God were looking

down and shining on them.

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