Page 4 of A Furry Thing Called Love (Friends of Gaynor Beach Animal Rescue #7)
Jordan
Early mornings on the beach are some of my favorites. Just me, my border collie—Indie, the water, and the occasional jogger.
Talking to Valery and Luka the other day helped clear my head, but parts of me still can’t get over the fact Arlo is back in town. The past three years have been both the longest and shortest of my life.
The first few months, I was heartbroken, hating both myself and Arlo over what happened. Regretting that I didn’t ask him to stay, even when I knew it wasn’t what he wanted—needed. Then I poured everything I was into work.
I built my business to be what it is today, growing and reaching people who really needed my guidance. I made friends, started volunteering, and was just…living life the best I could with a heart that wasn’t solely mine anymore.
Now, he’s back, and I feel as if everything I’ve done to pretend that summer didn’t happen is unraveling before my very eyes.
Indie gets close to the water and I let out a long, low whistle, calling her back, because it’s far too early in the morning to deal with an ocean-scented dog.
“Come on, Indie!” I call out, turning to walk back up the beach, but stopping when I see someone sitting on one of the benches at the top of the sand.
The distance between us means I can’t make out his features, but I’d know Arlo anywhere, especially with Eli at his side. My traitorous heart skips a beat at the sight of him—another sure sign I’m right about who’s sitting on the bench; I’ve only ever felt that way around him.
I want to pretend I don’t see him, but I can’t.
Maybe I was a masochist in my past life, because despite my heart and my head both telling me to run in the other direction, I end up walking over to him.
Arlo looks up at me warily, clutching a to-go cup of coffee in his hand. “Morning,” he says slowly, cautiously, like he doesn’t know what to make of me.
To be honest, I don’t know what to do with myself, either, but…it’s not in my nature to walk away, even when I’m dying inside.
“Good morning. What are you doing out here so early?”
He shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep. Which is the stupidest thing in the world.
Chronic fatigue is one of my symptoms, but I also have fucking insomnia.
Made worse when dealing with a prolonged relapse like I am right now—though I can’t find it in me to try to decipher if it’s been made worse by the move, or if it's just one of the longer relapses and I would have felt this way had I stayed in Seattle.”
He blinks then huffs. “I’m sorry. Tired is an understatement, and it makes me a…”
“Cranky bitch?” I helpfully supply.
Arlo snorts. “Something like that.” He watches me carefully before softly saying, “I didn’t expect to see you again so soon, either. It’s throwing me a little.”
I shuffle on my feet, reaching down to pet Indie—who’s finally decided to grace us with her presence—to avoid looking at him. “I can leave, if you want.”
“I don’t know what I want, Jor. That’s the problem.” He sighs and drinks his coffee. “I’m not sure what I expected when I decided to make the move. I simply knew I had to do it, no matter what.”
“I get that.”
The lightest blue eyes I’ve ever seen look up at me. “I guess, of everyone in my life, apart from my sister, you’ve always known me best, so maybe you do get it.”
My heart skips a beat as our eyes connect, and the traitorous feelings I locked up so long ago try to break free of the box I shoved them in. I so want to believe that’s true, but the years between us say otherwise.
Clearing my throat, I look away, not wanting to embarrass myself as the threads of panic from seeing him once again start to claw at me. “I should go, let you enjoy your coffee in peace.”
“You don’t have to. I mean, if you don’t have anywhere else to be right now?”
Is that hope in his voice? Or is my traitorous heart only wishing for it?
“I think it’s better if I go. Besides, I need to get Indie and everyone else at home fed.” Arlo flinches, and a piece of me dies at hurting him, even if that wasn’t my intention. Fuck, this is too much. I need to get out of here.
“I…” Swallowing, I blow out a harsh breath.
“My number is the same. I know I gave you my card, but I thought I’d let you know, in case you threw it in the trash or something.
So…if you need to call me, for anything, please don’t hesitate to.
I know things are…weird, and we, well, we agreed a clean break would be for the best, but I’d hate to hear you needed someone and no one was there for you.
So…the offer is there, should you ever need it. ”
Arlo looks away, reaching down to pet Eli, as if he needs that comfort, and fuck do I know the feeling well. “Mine’s the same as well. I…I know you have family, friends, and the like, but…I still care about you, Jor. So…don’t hesitate.”
I give him a wobbly smile. “I still care, too.” Part of me hopes my words get lost in the sea breeze, but the way Arlo’s eyes widen a little, and his lips part, tells me I’m not that lucky.
“I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah.”
I can feel his gaze burning into me as Indie and I walk away, but I don’t dare turn around, lest he see the tears in my eyes. Fuck. Talk about awkward.
But, I meant what I told him, I’ll be there if he ever needs me, even if it kills me.