Page 155 of A Fate in Flames

My consciousness was slipping away like grains of sand in the wind.

Then he dropped me.

I hit the ground hard, my knees cracking against stone as I gasped and wheezed, drawing in great gulps of burning air.I could barely see through the tears—could barely think past the pain radiating from my back.

He turned away, pacing like a caged beast.Fury rolled off him in violent pulses, each step leaving scorched footprints behind.

“Why?”He raked his hands through his hair.“Why do you torment me?Why can’t I burn you out, no matter how hard I try?”

He took a step toward me, and I fought the urge to crawl backward.To scramble away from the raw pain in his voice.

I lowered my head, tearing my gaze from the naked emotion in his eyes that threatened to undo me.

“Look at me,” he said.Softer now, almost pleading.

I couldn’t.I wouldn’t survive it.

“Look atme!”

I struggled to my feet, my legs shaking, and slowly raised my eyes to his.My lips trembled with unspoken words.

Something shattered in his expression.He took a step closer, then another, until there was only an inch between us.

His hand came up, hovering just beside my face like he wanted to touch me, but didn’t dare.The battle played out across his features—of want and rage and something that looked like despair.

“I should kill you where you stand,” he whispered, but there was no conviction in his voice.“It would be easier than this…”

He jerked back, turning away once again.This time he would leave, the smoke already beginning to curl around him.

No.

“Stay.”

I couldn’t stop it.Couldn’t understand why I’d said it.I reached out, grazing his arm.

His voice was flat, emotionless.“You made your choice nine days ago.Now live with it.”

Shadow and fire swallowed him whole, leaving nothing behind but the lingering sensation of his skin against my fingertips.I was all alone, my arm still outstretched, reaching for something that was no longer there.

When I made it back to my chambers, Mira still hadn’t arrived.

The second I shut the door, I collapsed forward.Sweat dripped from my forehead in steady streams, each drop hitting the floor with a wet slap.My legs shook violently, muscles cramping and seizing from every agonising step of the long journey back.The material of my clothes stuck to my skin like a second layer of suffocating flesh—every thread a reminder of how close I’d come to breaking.

I pressed my palms against the cool wall, fingers splayed wide as I fought to stay upright.

I wasn’t cut out for this life.I wasn’t a soldier.

Yet I waged the most brutal war of all, one that tore me apart piece by piece.

I peeled away from the wall and stumbled toward the bathing chamber to splash cool water against my burning skin, hands shaking so badly I could barely cup the liquid.

I jerked upright at the sound of approaching footsteps, my chin dripping as I wiped my face with my sleeve.

Mira walked in, her sharp eyes sweeping over me.She wrinkled her nose and tapped her foot against the floor.

“You haven’t bathed yet?”

Guilt lanced through me, twisting my insides into knots.