Page 20 of A Daddy for Christmas 3: Nova
“Something tells me you’re going to need that,” Robbie said as he headed across the sand to retrieve it for me while I stood there trembling, inches away from a complete and utter meltdown.
“Yeah, to cram down my boss’s throat when I go back to work after the holidays, if I still have a job,” I hissed. “He actually threatened my job because I wasn’t responding to texted questions I’ve already answered in the memos I left on my desk, and all because it’s his idiot cousin Pete who’s been the one sending the fucking messages. I did everything I was supposedto do. Detailed all the projects right down to the letter. All Pete has to do is follow the steps as they are laid out for him; there is no reason for there to be three dozen clarifying questions cluttering up my phone. I skimmed them, and all I saw were questions he’d have known the answers to if he’d just read the fucking notes I left.”
“If it’s alright with you, I’ll just hold on to this before something more serious than a brush with the sand befalls it,” Robbie said as he walked back towards me with my phone in his hand while he dusted it off.
“Fine by me; in fact, I’d like to just turn it off,” I said, holding out my hand for it.
The temptation was there, when he passed it back, to see if there was a response to my last message, until my temples throbbed and I decided to just turn it off and pass it back to him before the whole day was ruined. Sighing, I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to will the tension away, and then his hands were there, sliding under my windblown hair, fingers finding the knots that had begun to form. Slowly, gently, he rubbed away the stress those texts had caused until I groaned and leaned back against him, closed my eyes, and let the gentle breeze wash over me.
“Can I be frank?” Robbie said.
“Please do.”
“What your boss is doing to you is completely unfair.”
Hearing him say it just drove the point home. “Yeah, I know.”
“You’re way too young to be on the verge of burnout already.”
Groaning, I exhaled and felt tears prick the corners of my eyes “I can’t argue that.”
“Good, I’d be worried if you tried to,” he replied. “I know we’re just getting to know one another, so if I’m oversteppinghere, just tell me to back off and I will. But it seems like you’ve got a wealth of experience in your field already. If there is something else you’d rather be doing, and if you’re in a financial position to make a change, this might be the time to start considering it, before someone else makes the decision for you.”
He was right. So very right it wasn’t even funny. As I turned my head to look up at him and felt the relief of my neck cracking as more of the tension melted away, I couldn’t help but feel a bit cheated at not being able to enjoy the first break I’d given myself since I’d graduated from college and jumped right into the corporate sector.
“I already am,” I admitted, as my thoughts began to settle. “When I booked this trip, I hoped the rest and relaxation would give me a chance to recharge, but each ping of the phone pushes me closer to meltdown mode. I earned this vacation, and it’s not fair that work keeps chipping away at it. All I wanted to do today was sit on your back porch and make seashell animals, and we don’t even have enough seashells yet.”
A tear rolled down before I could stop it, and I found myself being turned so I was facing him again. It took effort to choke back the sob that bubbled in my throat when he brushed it away. I wanted kisses and rainbows and meltingly refreshing sunshiny days swinging in the hammocks beside his house, not pings and threats and so much stress that I couldn’t put my job out of my mind for even a moment.
Several more tears spilled over and he wiped them too, before leaning in and kissing the next batch off my cheek, until I threw my arms around him, and let him hold me as I sobbed all over his tank top. He held me the whole time, stroked my back, supported my weight when my knees threatened to buckle, and never once tried to shush me. He let me completely cry myself out, dampening his top in the process, which couldn’t have beenthe best feeling. It might even have been an ick moment, but he didn’t care, he still held me like I was precious to him.
I wish I was.
I wish there was time to become that and more.
Was it weird and rushed to be falling so hard over a hug, especially when my boss was trying to yank the rug out from under me and upend my life while I was hundreds of miles away from home? Maybe. Did I really care right now? No. I clung to Robbie like he was one of the surfboards he’d promised to teach me to ride, and I cried, purging stress and worry and frustration until it dawned on me that my tears were mournful ones too, as my mind began to take the steps it needed to give up something that was slowly killing me.
I felt calmer, steadier, and both more and less sure of myself by the time I finished crying and slowly eased back from him, though he never let his hands fall from my body completely.
“T-thank you,” I murmured, but when I reached to brush the moisture from my cheeks, he beat me too it.
“Seems like you needed that.”
“I think I did.”
“How do you feel now?” he asked.
“Ready to collect the rest of our shells so we can start making our critters,” I replied.
“Then let’s finish collecting them, and when we get back to my place, I’ll whip us up something for lunch, and we can sit with our art supplies the way we planned and see what we can create.”
“Ugh, all my images are on Pinterest boards.”
“So. We don’t have to look them up on your phone; we can look them up on mine,” he replied.
“That would be awesome.”
He took my hand and the bucket and led me down the beach, toes squishing in the sand as we searched for shells.