Page 16 of A Cursed Heart

Ryan

Listening to Mal breathing next to me was more soothing than I would have guessed.

I missed it; the casual intimacy, which had nothing to do with sex when having a partner.

Sleeping next to someone, brushing by them with a touch to the hip, or holding hands while doing something mundane, like watching TV.

Okay, I missed sex, too, but hadn’t realized how much I needed intimacy as well.

Mal was always touching me, and far from hating it, I liked it. I soaked up each tiny touch like a flower did with the sun.

I shouldn’t have felt comfortable with Mal for so many reasons, the main being he was a demon.

Although I’d seen it with my own eyes, I didn’t truly believe he was something bad.

Other, sure, just not evil. Maybe because in my head a demon was just a name for a magical person.

Okay, he had a wicked cool tail and horns to go with the demonic image.

Still, he wasn’t bad. How could anyone be when they spent the afternoon singing Golden with a five-year-old?

Yeah, Mal had watched the film twice while Freya was at school, just so he knew the words to the songs when she got home.

He had a fantastic singing voice, too. Freya loved him, and I…

well, there was something there between us.

I didn’t want to name it or put too much thought into it. Whatever happened, happened, basically.

The other reason I shouldn’t have felt so safe around him was that he was a guy. As a self-proclaimed straight man, I was questioning my beliefs. Was it only because he was magical, so foreign from any guy I’d ever known, or was it his innate sweetness that had charmed me?

Ugh , I mentally chastised myself. Here I was dwelling on what Mal was coming to mean to me when I said I would go with the flow.

I stayed awake for a long time, watching Mal sleep next to me. Or so I thought.

“Go to sleep, Ryan. You’re going to be too exhausted to work tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Can’t turn my brain off.” I flipped onto my side, getting closer to him.

“Want a hand with that?” he murmured suggestively.

My brain went offline for a second. Finally I spluttered out, “No…” My denial sounded weak. I changed the subject instead of confronting it. “Tell me about your past. In the demon realm.”

He turned to face me in the semi-darkness of the room.

The lights from other buildings, streetlights and the stars shone through the blinds on the window, giving me the chance to study his face.

His features were sharp; a pointed chin, chiseled jaw, blade-like nose, angular dark eyes. Attractive and slightly dangerous.

“I worry you won’t trust me anymore once you know what I did.” His expression was pained.

Part of me wanted to soothe him with my touch.

I just wasn’t ready for what that meant.

“Mal, you know what I did to Jasmine. It might have been an accident, but I knew there was a chance she might use those drugs.” Of course, I’d known there was a decent chance she was lying about being in recovery.

“I feel awful about it for Freya, because it took away her mom, not for what I did.” Which was the crux of the matter.

I did not care that I’d killed a person I’d once loved. It made me a truly awful person.

“What you did was an accident—”

“I knew it would kill her boyfriend.”

Mal gave a half-shrug. “You took a terrible man out of the world before he could do more harm.”

“Maybe, but it’s still murder.” I’d confronted what I’d done. If given the choice of going back in time, I’d probably do the same thing.

“You didn’t make him use those drugs. He could have put them in the trash instead of in his body,” Mal pointed out.

“True. And I’m sure you had reasons for what you did in your past.”

“Nothing but youth and greed.”

“Tell me,” I urged. “I don’t want secrets between us. It’s part of what ended mine and Jasmine’s relationship.”

“If you are sure…” I nodded. “I hope you do not see me differently when you hear it all.” Mal let out a sigh.

“Growing up, I was the youngest. You would think that I was coddled for it. I was not. Often I was ignored, dismissed. Everything I was given were scraps. Even my land when I came of age was a territory no one else wanted. Naturally, I grew resentful. I will spare you all of my misdeeds. I would steal, lie, harm other demons in my quest for more power and influence. It took some time, but I grew a reputation for my magic. With it came followers. I got it into my head that I should be king. My brother, Dagda, was the king after defeating our father for the throne.”

Mal frowned. “It was a dark time with few people to trust. Too many were in my ears, telling me I would be a better king. They told me that Dagda was failing our kingdom. There were battles where I killed many. I was cast out, forced to remain in my corner of the kingdom where Dadga’s people could keep an eye on me.

Eventually, I learned about the heart ruby. You know what happened then.”

He was silent for a long time. “Does that change how you see me?”

“No. If anything, it makes you more human.”

“That’s the last thing that I am,” he grumbled with a sardonic smile.

I laughed. “Yeah, fair. Okay, it makes you more real. Like you’re a person underneath the horns and tail.

” Said tail reached for me, wrapping around my wrist with a strangely gentle touch before it moved to rest on my hip.

“With all the petty jealousy and hurt feelings that come with it.” This time, I did reach out to him.

I twirled a strand of his long scarlet hair around my finger.

“I think that it makes us similar. We’ve both done shitty things thinking we had good reasons for them. ”

Mal squeezed the hand in his hair. “I do not think you are the same as me, Ryan. Your soul shines.”

“How about I decide that, huh? If I could see your soul, I bet it would shine just the same as mine.”

I was getting used to waking up with Mal in my bed, in my arms. It felt natural to have him there.

Even the weight of his tail wrapped around my leg had begun to feel familiar.

I hoped that once the drama with Salvatore was over, we could concentrate on getting him free.

Maybe then we could figure out what this was without added pressure on us.

We spent the day much like the day before, except Mal ushered me to my desk and took Freya to school for me, then tried to clean my apartment using a mixture of magic and cleaning tools.

He was learning how to use everything more quickly than I could have dreamed, but he still needed me to help him.

Not that I minded. It was kind of cute when he would shyly come to me with a question.

He also picked her up at the end of the day so I could continue with my work. Then helped me cook after clocking off time. It was easy to be in the kitchen with him moving around me. Cooking was much faster when he used magic to do things for us.

It was getting late, and we were in the middle of the bedtime routine when the buzzer went off. I went to answer it.

“Mr. Mallory, it’s Anders. Mr. Salvatore requests your presence.”

Fuck! I’d completely forgotten he wanted me to go to his building.

Most of the time I avoided thinking about the fucked up situation he had me in.

What the hell was I going to do? If I was going to get the information I needed to take him down, then I had to go there.

Except I had no clue if he knew I’d been in his office and stolen from him.

Mal appeared at my side. “Do you want me to come with you? I can hide myself with magic.”

“What about Freya? Someone needs to stay here with her,” I said into the intercom.

“You have a young man staying with you. He can look after your daughter. Surely you trust him enough for that if you let him take her to and from school.”

I felt the color leech from my face. They’d been watching me. Scythe had put a tail on me!

“What the fuck?” I mouthed at Mal.

He took my finger off the intercom. “If you need me to stay here, I can go with you in your mind. Forge a connection between us so I can see if you are in any danger. Then, if necessary, I can vanish to your side in an instant.”

Holy fuck, magic was useful. “Alright. Do that. Just let me tell him I’ll be down in five.” I pressed the intercom once more and told Anders I was getting ready to leave.

“This magic is slightly… invasive. I cannot read all your thoughts, just those you think at the front of your mind. Do you understand? Think towards me and I will hear.”

“Will I hear you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Do it.”

Mal put his hands on my head, sending shivers down my spine. They heated, and soon there was a sense of pressure until it sort of popped.

Can you hear me?

Yeah, this is weird.

Don’t keep Scythe waiting.

What if he knows—

If he knew, he would be here, not his servant. He might suspect, but if you lie, and I know you can lie well, then everything will be alright. I’ll protect Freya and come for you if you need me.

Going on instinct, I hugged Mal quickly, stepped into my shoes, grabbed a few things, and left the apartment. Staying longer would only draw out my worry.

Anders was in the car waiting for me when I got downstairs. I got into the car without saying a word.

Relax, Ryan. You are being suspicious. You need to act like nothing is wrong aside from being irritated that Mr. Salvatore is demanding your time.

Trying to do what Mal said, I made small talk with Anders. Aside from a couple of one word answers, it was like talking to a wall.

Better, Mal praised. You sound much more like yourself.

My anxiety grew as we rode the elevator to Scythe’s office. There was no knowing which side of his personality I was about to meet. I fiddled with my phone, getting it ready to receive any data from the program I’d put on his computer already.

“Ah! Mr. Mallory.”