Page 48 of A Clash of Moonlight

“I have done Arcuro’s bidding for centuries,” he said quietly. “Everything he has wanted, I have provided. I kill. I torture. I corrupt for him. He was not always evil. It happened in small steps, small increments. I did not see it until I became more like him, and by that time, he would not let me go. He would not let anyone go.” He took a risk. Reached for her hand. “It is impossible to defy a master with blood as old as his. I have tried many times. He destroyed every connection I had—the humans who served me and the vampires I bonded. I stopped making connections long ago.”

“You have Deagan,” she said, staring at their clasped hands.

“He saved me. He kept me from fully becoming the monster my master wants me to be.”

“You have the reputation of a monster.”

“Yes. When I am in his presence, when I am carrying out his commands, when I drink from him, I am ruthless and evil and cruel. Deagan pulls me out of it.”

She looked up. “Really?”

Jared smiled at the doubt in her voice. “He is an oddity with a questionable sense of self-preservation. I have almost killed him a thousand times. He has never abandoned me, though I would allow it now.”

“He threatened to kill me tonight.”

“Did he?” His eyebrows rose.

“It was more like he contemplated it out loud.”

Jared nodded, a small smile still on his lips. It began to fade. “What I am trying to say, Nora, is that I would continue this for as long as you would have me. I would be yours until the end, whether that is tomorrow or a thousand years from now.”

She started to say something. He pulled her closer and silenced her with a kiss. “Think about it. Just think about it.” He brushed her hair away from her face. Kissed her again. “My attendant is entering your home. He is bringing me a cloak.”

A soft knock came from the door a moment later. He stepped away. He should say something more, something to convince her to continue seeing him. Instead, he deadened his emotions. He had never done something so reckless before. He had never handed anyone his heart.

17

DefenSec was ready to sell.

Nora stared at the email on the screen. Specifically, she stared at the date their owner and his lawyer wanted to meet: Monday at ten a.m.

It was too risky. She’d slept with Jared just before dawn. Monday would put her at forty-eight hours posthookup. It wasn’t enough time. Her father had been copied on the email. Either he or Carson, the pack’s attorney, would show up to sign the paperwork. Both wolves would smell vampire on her if they met Monday.

She sank back in her desk chair, agitated. It was her own fault. She’d grown attached to Jared. She wanted to spend more time with him, not less, and that was why they had to end things. She couldn’t continue to avoid the pack. She couldn’t be with him again. Not tonight. Not after the papers were signed. Not anytime before or after the full moon. It had to be over.

The thought made her chest ache. It shouldn’t. The longest she had ever dated someone was six months, and even then, she hadn’t been attached to the other werewolf. She’d enjoyed their time together, enjoyed the sex, the romps through the woods and the Appalachian foothills. They’d liked each other. Then they’d separated, and she’d never once missed him after that.

It had only been six hours since Jared left, and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed with him. Or snuggle on a couch. Or take a midnight stroll.

Or offer him her blood.

Heat swirled through her entire body. He’d refused her this morning, and it had been so hard not to push for it like some human high on vamp pheromones. She was stronger than that—a hell of a lot stronger—but she wanted to feel Jared’s teeth on her neck, wanted to feel his fangs penetrate her skin, feel his mouth on her…

Damn it.

She shoved away from her desk and stood.

It was ridiculous. She was ridiculous. If anyone found out how much she wanted Jared, she’d be mortified. She was strong, dominant, and viciously independent. The latter wasn’t normal for made werewolves, and her pack mates would have teased her for an attachment to any male. An attachment to Jared would be unacceptable.

She shook her head, trying to clear the vampire from her thoughts so she could concentrate on the DefenSec deal. She needed to postpone the meeting until Tuesday—Wednesday would be even better. She just needed to think of an excuse.

She glanced at her cell phone. She had an irrational desire to call Jared to ask him for ideas, but the vampires couldn’t learn about this deal. Not until it already went through.

Grabbing one of the flattened cardboard boxes that Blake had ordered a pack mate deliver, she busied herself packing up her personal items from the study—a few books, pictures, and decorative pottery. It didn’t help her think of an excuse. It didn’t help her restlessness either. Her cell phone continued lassoing her attention. After she stuffed crinkled paper between the more fragile items in the moving box, she finally gave in and sent Jared a text.

My father wants to see me. I need an excuse to postpone.

She set the phone back down on her desk and grabbed another box, expecting it to take some time for Jared to reply.