Page 27 of A Broken Promise (the Freckled Fate #1)

27

W e walked on foot past the long fields of golden wheat. Rows of people with their large sickles, working nonstop until the dark of the night. Harvesting.

We still had a few hours of walking until we reached the small dock Priya secured the boat at. The purple sky now stretched bright on the horizon. Loud crickets chirped away in the grass along our dirt path.

Priya was snacking on an apple with another loaf of recently bought bread.

“You are awfully quiet today,” she said, taking another loud bite of her pink apple.

I was indeed quiet today. Not sure what to say. Not sure what to ask. Not even sure of my own thoughts, but instead grounded to my surroundings, keenly aware of the end of my ponytail caressing the top of my now-cleaned crossbow.

“I guess I am not sure what to talk about or what to ask.” I offered her the truth.

“Well, staring on the horizon like that is kind of weird and frankly annoying. Spill it. ”

“I didn’t feel anything.” The truth came rushing out faster than I could think of it.

“What do you mean?” Priya murmured, eating that apple so loudly.

“I just didn’t feel anything.” I don’t feel anything, would have been more correct.

“I heard what you said. I just don’t understand,” Priya annoyingly replied.

“I took a man’s life in cold blood, and I felt nothing . I should have felt bad, terrible, maybe even scared or at least overwhelmed, but I didn’t feel any of it. I felt nothing at all. Like an empty pickle jar.”

Priya just kept on chewing. Minutes after minutes of us just walking, that truth hanging up in the air. She finally paused.

“And this is a problem because…?”

“Something is wrong with me. I killed a man, Priya. I ended someone’s life for no other reason than you said so. A stranger to me that lived his life and I cut it short for no reason. I should feel something. Why am I not feeling anything?” That question nagged on me ever since I walked away from that cabin two days ago. My feelings were so quiet, as if veiled; still there, but now I only saw them through a fog.

Priya halted our walk; I stopped a few steps away from her.

“First of all, that man that just lived his life was a complete piece of trash, so believe me when I say the world is not going to miss him. Second, I have no clue why you are so screwed up like that?”

I slightly frowned. The familiar feeling of loneliness was waking up in me. Alone. I was in this alone, then.

“Oh, get over yourself.” Priya scowled at me. “You make such a big deal of it. So big whoop, turns out you are more of a sociopath than I am. Whooptee-doopty-fucking-doo. You learn new things about yourself every day, things that you like and things that you might not like. If you are going to let one little fucking detail derail you like that than what is the point of you trying something new?” Priya’s angry voice rumbled. She was clearly disappointed I didn’t share the same feeling she had during our kill, but she still added, “So, you’ve never killed a man, and now you have. And nothing has changed for you? Take a win when you can, damn it, Finn. ”

“I guess you are right. It was just not what I expected. I was hoping to feel something grand. Something powerful. And all I have felt is just the calmness of a machine. Like a stupid steamboat.” I agreed with her, easing the tension between us.

Priya chucked the left-over apple core far into the field, her thick braid swaying with the motion.

“At least you are a steamboat and not a fucking dryer fan.” We both smiled at the idea of that. Priya threw another apple in my hands.

“Eat something first, miss bloody pants. Steamboats don’t run on empty fuel.” She winked and we continued walking.