Page 18 of A Botanist and A Betrothal (Gentleman Scholars #4)

“I

f I was a piece of torn out paper, where would I be?” Vesta muttered the words under her breath.

It was a foolish question, but the amusement it caused her helped keep panic at bay.

Vesta scoured her stepfather’s library, hoping to find the missing pages hidden somewhere obvious that she could easily find. It was probably witless of her to think they could be found, and yet she couldn’t stop the compulsive search.

Lincoln hadn’t noticed that pages were missing, and she didn’t point it out to him when she realized it herself, not when she could already hear accusation in his voice. She decided that if she could find the missing pages and present them to him, surely then he would have to trust her.

But was that only a foolish wish on her part? Would there ever be trust between them?

Spending time with him, working on his studies, had filled her heart with more joy than she had experienced—maybe ever in her life.

But the devastation on his face the day before, when he had realized there was already a connection to his treasure hunt here on the property that he had never set foot on before those few days... she could never forget that look.

He didn’t trust her.

Did anyone trust her? Did trust matter?

"Of course, it matters," Vesta replied to her own question as she continued rifling through her stepfather’s books. She started with the books nearest where she had found the textbook on plants.

Perhaps it had merely been used to compare to another book on a similar topic. That seemed like a reasonable explanation to her fevered mind.

Why would anybody rip pages out of a book, though? Why not just copy the information you needed?

No, it struck Vesta as more likely that someone was trying to hide something. But why wouldn’t they hide the plant that Lincoln was so interested in if it was somehow connected to the treasure he was searching for?

How could a plant be connected to a treasure hunt? Was that not a stretch too far?

Maybe there was no connection at all. Maybe they were grasping at straws. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Vesta was overcome with the uncertainty that surrounded her life.

Did she have a betrothal at all, or was she merely a pawn in Mr. Caldwell’s schemes?

She had already realized that she was a pawn in his schemes, but it had seemed to somehow connect her and Lincoln with the Westbrook family. Now Vesta worried that it was more nefarious even than that, and that her fiancé would never be able to forgive her if she was the reason his research was being interfered with.

Vesta didn’t think Lincoln cared all that much about the treasure. He was more concerned with discovering the solution to the heart disease problem he was researching and how it might connect to that plant.

Was Mr. Caldwell trying to prevent the scientific discovery?

That was unlikely. How would that benefit him? It was more likely that he wanted to keep the discovery to himself. But Vesta was nearly certain Mr. Caldwell had no scientific knowledge. At least not enough to understand such matters or develop a cure of some sort.

Then there was this mysterious gentleman, Mr. Scott Green. Was that even a real name? Was Mr. Green truly interested in plants? It sounded made up to Vesta's searching mind.

And still, she couldn’t find the missing pages.

She was going to have to tell Lincoln, but would he be able to forgive her? Would he be able to see that it couldn’t possibly be her fault? Would he ever trust her?

Even before she found the book that unfortunately indicated Lincoln wasn’t the first to discover his plant, things had been strained between them. Between the destruction in the greenhouse and Sir Edmund’s visit, the tension was more than she could bear, and then it only got worse.

She wanted to have a relationship with Lincoln. For there to be more between her and Lincoln.

Vesta had been ready to accept the betrothal despite her stepfather’s arrangement of it, and yet now, she didn’t know. She didn’t know if she should entrust herself to a gentleman who didn’t trust her. And how could she commit her life to a temperamental scientist who had to rely upon her dowry to support the two of them, such as it was?

Vesta didn’t even know how well or how little her father had provided for her. She ought to know before she insisted upon Mr. Caldwell providing it since there was no way of ensuring he could even be trusted. Would he hand over the full amount? Or would he try to fleece them out of a portion of it?

Vesta no longer trusted anyone. Betrayal and urgency surged within her. She needed to find those pages!

When there was a light knock on the door she started guiltily. It couldn’t be Mr. Caldwell—he wouldn’t bother knocking, nor would it be light. Vesta turned and watched as Lincoln strode into the room.

"I was surprised to be told you were here once more," he said, worry and suspicion walking together across his features. Vesta’s smile, which she tried to give him, was weak at best.

"I didn’t want to tell you.” She began explaining as she stepped closer to him with her hand extended. To her relief and delight, he clasped her hand warmly between both of his.

"What is it, Vesta? I can tell you are troubled."

She heaved a heavy sigh. "There are pages missing."

"Missing? From what?" he asked, his gaze sharpening.

"The book," she began. "The book we were looking at yesterday. You didn’t notice, or you didn’t remark upon it at any rate, but there were some pages ripped out. I was hoping I could find them before you realized they were even missing."

"Why were you trying to keep it from me?" he asked with a frown.

Vesta sighed even more heavily this time. "Because everything is a mess, and you think I’m involved in it. And I’m the one that found that book, and of course, you’re going to think that I took out the pages. But I didn’t. I swear to it."

"Oh, Vesta, of course you didn’t. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean my churlishness yesterday. That was just my first reaction, and it wasn’t a very nice one. I know. I’m so sorry. It’s unfair of me to take out my worries on you, but that is what I’ve been doing. My own uncertainties have made me question you, and that has been ridiculous.”

Lincoln pulled her closer toward himself. “I know none of this can be claimed as your fault. As you said, there’s no way you could have drawn me to the property, and you knew nothing of the plants or my research. I believe that was very genuine. It was my desperate initial reaction, and it was uncalled for and beneath you, and I’m so sorry."

“But what about Mr. Green and Sir Edmund?”

“What of them?” Lincoln frowned at her.

“You think they’re my fault.”

Lincoln’s sigh sounded equal parts despair and frustration to Vesta’s ears.

“No, I don’t,” Lincoln said.

His voice started out heated but then he tempered it. “I know you cannot control either of those happenings. Yes, I’m disappointed you didn’t turn Sir Edmund out on his ear, but that is your decision to make. It is very likely jealousy on my part that has made me so grouchy where he is concerned.”

A surprised chuckle escaped Vesta, but Lincoln ignored it and continued. “As for Mr. Green, I’m sure you’ll agree that is a very strange situation that we will have to get to the bottom of. Perhaps we can discuss it with Mr. Caldwell together when he returns.”

Vesta had to fight not to throw herself into his arms at the warmth and kindness in his voice. She appreciated the apology and believed it to be genuine.

"Now, tell me about these pages," he prompted. "When did you notice they were missing? Did it happen after you found the book?"

"Oh no, I don’t think so. I found the book yesterday and saw that there were pages missing yesterday," she replied immediately.

"Do you think it could be Mr. Caldwell who removed the pages?" he asked.

"I don’t really know how there’s any way to tell," Vesta replied. "But I was searching in the library, hoping that they might just somehow appear in another book or something."

"Where is Mr. Caldwell?" Lincoln asked. "Is he likely to stumble upon us searching his library?"

"I expect him to be gone for at least a couple of hours," Vesta said.

"He has gone to the next town to see about buying something from someone," Vesta explained. "I know that sounds terribly vague, but that was all I could find out from the butler without causing suspicion. That was the only reason I felt brave enough to search this room."

"What of Kimberly and Nancy? Are they likely to come upon us searching and tattle to their father?" Lincoln’s question showed he had come to understand the household dynamics.

"Oh no, they went with him." Vesta’s relief rang out in her voice.

"Very well then, let us search."

Vesta was actually pleased to find them working together once more. However, she still didn’t feel that he fully trusted her despite the warmth of his apology. Upset nerves churned in her stomach.

Part of her wished he would just propose that they wed immediately and leave this place altogether. But that was foolish wishful thinking on her part. The thoughts tumbled, chasing each other around her head as she drew closer to her stepfather’s desk, staring at it closely. Suddenly, she realized that the underside didn’t quite match.

"There’s a hidden compartment," she whispered.