Page 18 of A Bond of Ice and Glass (Crowned By Wings #2)

T here’s light rain dripping onto one of my cheeks as I slowly wake.

The water is softly dripping down on my cracked lips, and it tastes like salt.

I focus on the rain, on the gentle but steady patter as I try to remember what happened.

I’m pressed up against someone warm. Their warmth is keeping me still and steady.

They feel like they’re almost on fire, and I can hear a heartbeat underneath my other ear, a thump, thump, thump.

Wait… that heartbeat is familiar. I’ve heard it before.

Could it be Loch? No, Loch doesn’t smell like this.

This man’s scent is strong like a storm, forcing the world to know the storm is here and it has you.

A storm of fire and roses. Everything that’s been in my dreams when my dream man is there. Could this be him?

Why don’t I remember what happened?

My mind is swimming with a million thoughts and worries, but lying here pretending to be asleep is not going to help me.

I lift my head slowly, almost like I’m still dreaming, but I know I’m not.

Erax, the king who took everything from me, is lying propped against a tree.

It hurts to see him. It feels like my heart is torn open with a mixture of bone deep pain and longing so strong it makes my body feel weak.

King Erax broke into the castle, and he tried to take me.

I remember now… and he must have succeeded.

Erax, my husband , has been chasing me from the beginning. The boy who flew in on a dragon and stole me from the castle, the boy who, not long after killing my parents, stole me while wearing my father’s bloody crown.

King Erax is a monster. A breathtakingly handsome, brutal monster.

I stare at him for a long moment, like I need to have this frozen time to take him in.

I don’t need anything from him, but how is it fair he looks like this?

His thick arm is gripped around my waist, and his head is tilted up looking at the night sky.

The silver moon highlights every inch of his white hair, the soft locks tumbling into his forehead.

I didn’t think he had white hair, but it’s so bright now, and it pulls out the gold and green hues of his eyes.

His jawline is tight, sculpted by the gods themselves, I bet, and everything from his thick white eyebrows to his perfect lips is flawless.

The only thing that makes him look like a mortal is the long scar down the one side of his face, and for a second, I see myself running my finger slowly down it.

The flash of memory is gone within a second, and I snap my jaw shut.

He’s still looking upwards, not at me, but at the stars peeking through the trees of the forest we’re buried in, without a care in the world.

I look down, spotting the handle of a dagger sticking out of his belt.

Quicker than I thought I could move, I grab it and hold it against his throat.

He laughs. The monster king laughs at me, at the dagger against his throat.

His eyes slowly drag down and lock with mine.

“Hello, wife. A pleasure as always.”

My heart starts picking up and racing harder the longer he stares, the longer I notice his arm around my waist, his hand gripping my hip possessively.

“I am not your wife.”

His eyes flicker with anger. “Whatever bullshit they have filled your mind with is that—bullshit. We are married, we love each other, and you are mine.” Love?

What could he possibly know about that word?

I don’t love him, and he doesn’t know how to feel that.

Not with what he has done, not with how he took the throne in the beginning and how he has ruled.

“Now put that down and keep your voice silent. We are not alone in this damned starless forest.”

Erax covers my hand on the dagger, pulling it off me almost effortlessly.

I jam my elbow straight into his stomach.

He grunts for a second, and I jump right off his lap.

I scramble to my feet and run straight through the forest without looking back.

I do see the sky, and I see Erax isn’t wrong.

I can’t see a single star from here. I don’t get far before he’s crashing into me, turning us so he lands straight onto the hard, leaf-covered ground, sending mud splattering everywhere.

He spins me around and pins me down in the mud and leaves.

I stare at him in absolute fear, and he pauses.

Pain etches across his face. “I won’t hurt you.

I would never touch you without your consent, and I promise that on my life. ”

“Please don’t hurt me anymore,” I whisper in horror.

“What are you talking about? Have any memories come back?” he demands. “How much magic did they pour down your throat, Mist? How much does it take for you to not remember us?”

I don’t know what to say as I stare at him, but memories of us?

“I don’t want to remember you raping me, hurting me and taking what you want! It’s better that I don’t remember!”

He grits his teeth. “Fuck, Mist. You let me inside you willingly, and you came around my cock like you wanted me just as much as I wanted you.” I go to tell him that’s impossible, but he isn’t done making my cheeks burn.

My body throbs like it remembers, like it’s something it wants.

I want. “I’ve never hurt anyone that didn’t deserve it.

I’ve never forced a woman. They took your memories, told you lies, and I saved you from them.

That is the truth.” He leans in. “The other truth that lingers between us is that I love you and you burn for me. You fucking love me, too, Mist. You can’t deny it. ”

“Get… off me,” I snarl.

“Promise not to run?” He arches an eyebrow. “This forest isn’t safe. It was the only way to move untracked through the lands… but it’s dangerous here. It’s a dead man’s land, full of traitors and monsters who have no home. I mostly ignore this place, and your parents did the same.”

“Well, you will fit in perfectly here!” I hiss.

He laughs low. “I walked right into that one, Mist. If you don’t agree not to run, then I’m going to stay exactly here. I don’t mind being on top of you. In fact, this is one of my favourite places to be.”

“You’re disgusting.” I don’t let myself focus on how his body perfectly fits against mine.

That pounding in my chest as his lips twitch in amusement.

A flashback of something, maybe a memory, flickers into my mind.

He was drunk, and he was in my room. We were arguing, but I can’t focus on what we said.

I think it was the night of our wedding.

What were we arguing about? I shake my head and another memory flitters back.

The wedding, him standing there in gold, but the feeling in my chest?

I wasn’t scared. I was marrying him and I wasn’t scared.

He is still looking at me when I can focus.

“The memories are coming back, aren’t they?

The further we get from that place, the less hold the magic has on you.

I can smell it on you now, like death itself has tried to brand you as his.

” His eyes flash. “But us? That can’t be taken. You already belong to?—”

“I do not belong to you!” I shout. He covers my mouth with his hand, and I immediately try to pull it off by scratching him. He doesn’t flinch.

“You do… and if you raise your voice one more time, I’m going to knock you out again and carry you out of this forest. It. Is. Not. Safe!”

Right on queue, a roar echoes through the trees that doesn’t sound like anything I want to meet.

“If we get caught, the fighting will attract Noble and his dragon,” he says, “and I will fight him even when it will cost the lives of the villagers in this forest. The children that live here too. My dragon is on the other side of this forest, an hour’s walk from an inn where I’ve stopped before.

We need to go there, rest and eat, then fly back.

It would be easier with Freyren, but she hasn’t woken,” he breathes into my face.

“Nod or kiss me if you’re not going to scream when I let you go. ”

Reluctantly, I nod. He takes his hand away and climbs off me in one smooth movement.

“Shame. I was really hoping you’d kiss me.”

He stands up.

“Freyren…” I note the name that has been haunting me for weeks. “Who is Freyren? I remember you said it in a dream. Wait, also, how are you getting to me in my dreams? Isn’t that magic? How is that even possible?”

“Freyren is your bonded ice dragon, and she helped me gain power along with the others. I have some control over the magic, but she’s put herself into a deep sleep, and she will only wake for her rider.

” Freyren is my dragon. I know this… I remember flying on her through the skies and the joy in my chest. I blink and the memory is gone.

These flickers of memories are making me feel sick to my stomach.

I stare at him as the rain pours droplets down his chiselled face, past the scar that runs down the one side. His hair is soaked now, just like mine. His eyes flicker to my lips for a second, climbing straight back up to my eyes.

“Tell me they didn’t hurt you, Mist. I’ve failed you a million times over, but if they hurt you, I’ll go back and just burn it all to the ground and fuck anything else. We can live in the ashes of this world, because I know nothing will hurt you then.”

“Why would they hurt me? Loch’s my best friend.

” His eyes flare. For a second, I think of Loch holding me to the bars, forcing me to kill that soldier.

How that hurt my soul. “I grew up with him, and Noble is his brother. Loch was always looking after me. He may be a bit different at the moment, but we can work out?—”

His hand grips the back of my throat, lifting my head up to meet his, our lips a second away. I freeze, fear locking up my body. “You’re mine. My queen. Everything about you is mine.”

I’m shivering as I manage to speak. “Please don’t hurt me.”

Those four words stop him and, to my surprise, he backs away. Erax unclips his cloak and throws it round my shoulders. He clears his throat. “Come on, we need to get moving.”

“How did you find me?” I ask, rushing to match his big footsteps. Am I really going with him? I know I don’t have a choice, and running away into this forest seems like an unwise plan. The scary truth is… do I want to go back to Loch? He scared me and he is so different from the boy I remember.

“There’s nowhere, absolutely nowhere, that I wouldn’t find you, Mist.”

His voice is firm, like this is a fact even the gods know.

“Why do you call me Mist?” I question next.

“Because you’re always disappearing through my fingers—like mist. This is nearly the second time now. There won’t be a third.” He looks down at me, eyes darkening.

I lift my chin despite the unexpected warmth that spreads through me.

“Yes, there will be.”

“So stubborn.” His lips twitch in amusement. “I’ve missed it.”

“You’re such an asshole,” I snap, wanting to wipe that amusement off his face. “Who do you think you?—”

“Ah. I can see the beginning of that lovely temper of yours, so let’s change the subject.” He looks away. “Tell me you’re not pregnant with my child right now. You don’t look pregnant, but I’m well aware that looks can be deceiving in the matter.”

“I’m not, according to the witch healer they had treating me when I woke up,” I hiss. “I’m sure that disappoints you, because that’s all you wanted from me and this marriage, wasn’t it? An heir.”

I swear pain smashes across his eyes before he looks indifferent.

“No, it does not disappoint me. You being pregnant right this moment would not be the best timing when we’re at war. Even if I love the idea of having part of me permanently inside you.”

My cheeks flame. “I’m only coming with you because I don’t know what Loch and Noble were doing. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel right. I still don’t know you or trust you, but don’t flirt with me or be rude. It doesn’t help with the building trust.”

“I don’t need to build your trust in me because you already trust me, even if you don’t remember why.

That’s the scary part, isn’t it? That you are frightened of me, of every story that’s ever been told and whispered in your ear.

You might not remember the months that we were together in your mind, but in here”—he points at his chest where his heart is—“in here you haven’t forgotten, and that’s why you’re trusting me.

As for those rebellious fuckers, they are playing with a side to witch magic that is forbidden to even the witches.

Magic comes with a cost, all magic does, and it takes what you never want to give up. ”

I shake my head in disbelief. “They aren’t doing that.”

He sighs. “Only dark magic would have kept your memories away. Dark ether magic. The darkest kind there is. Did you feel sick and weak all the time?” I don’t answer, but I swear he can hear how fast my heart races. “Does your precious Loch have dark veins on his hands and arms?”

The gloves. Erax sneers at my eyes widening.

“I will never promise to not kill that piece of shit. Him and his backstabbing brother. Do you remember what they did? How they pushed me to the brink of death? How I nearly fucking died and had to watch as they tore you away from me? Me and you, Mist, have so many secrets. I think we are choking on them, and I’m fucking done.

When you’re ready to learn everything that happened to this kingdom, what the truth is about your parents?

Ask me.” He runs his eyes down to my lips again.

This time he doesn’t lift his gaze. “Fuck, I can’t wait to kiss you.

I’d kiss you right now if you remembered me. ”

I turn away from him. “I won’t ask for the truth. You’d just lie.”

He looks right at me, the moonlight highlighting his hair so he almost looks like a god. Something unnaturally perfect and not destined for this world. “You are my queen, and I swear on my crown, I will never lie to you.”

The crown he burned and bled for.

He is a monster, a killer, and I should run away. But I don’t.

I wander into the forest with my king, wondering what I don’t know about my parents.