Page 39 of A Bond Beyond Blood (The Butcher’s Daughter Trilogy #1)

G annon

When Vinny suggested I come up here, I’d jumped at the chance—I wasn’t stupid. That dude had been peacocking since I got here, so the fact that he was granting me permission to speak to her was both a gift and the most fucked up thing about the entire situation.

I didn’t need his permission, and furthermore, she didn’t.

Jackie wasn’t the kind of girl who could be caged. This shit with Vinny wouldn’t last long, but it wouldn’t be me in her bed—where I belonged—until I apologized.

But, fuck me , man... where to start?

I breathed deeply as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Turning around, she leaned her hips against the kitchen counter and lifted the mug. “Did you do this?”

I nodded. “How’d you know? Your boy doesn’t make coffee for you?”

Jackie’s eyes narrowed and I realized talking shit on that dude would only push her further away.

“Sorry. I, uh...” I dragged my hand through my hair and leaned against the opposite counter. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I know that, but...”

She sighed. “Everyone deserves forgiveness, Gannon. Even you.” She took a sip of her coffee, eyes rolling back as the liquid hit her tongue.

God, she was even hotter than I remembered.

This past year had changed her into someone stronger, confident in her own skin.

She’d always been a bit of a badass, but this woman looked forged from steel.

I swallowed hard as lust and hunger began to build inside me, heating my veins and burning up the back of my throat.

“Gannon, your eyes.”

“Sorry. Fuck.” I closed them and breathed deeply.

“This is a bad idea.” She started to move for the door. “You’re still new—”

My arm shot out, startling her when I grabbed her wrist. The coffee splashed out from the mug onto her robe, and she yelped.

And Vinny, as promised, was standing between us a second later. I hadn’t even heard the door open and close. Teeth bared, he stared me down.

“I’m fine,” she said, wrapping her hand around his bicep to pull him backwards. “We’re good, Vinny.”

His eyes narrowed as he held my gaze, then he closed his mouth, but he didn’t move to leave.

I raised my hands and backed out of the kitchen. “I didn’t mean to startle her, man. I just...” I shook my head. “I’ll go.”

“No,” Jackie said. “Stay. We need to talk.”

“Really?”

With a quick scowl meant only for me, Vinny turned around to face her, keeping himself positioned between us so I couldn’t see her face. “You sure about this?”

She laughed softly, but it was a nervous sound.

As well as I knew this girl, it was impossible to miss the hint of fear in her voice.

She was afraid of me. I closed my eyes and bit back a roar of anguish.

My girl, the love of my life, the only woman who had ever meant anything to me—aside from my ma—was afraid of me.

Maybe letting Vinny rip me apart was the way to go after all.

“I’m sure. Give us a few minutes, please.” They were quiet for a moment, then she added, “I know I’m safe with you here.”

What was left of my heart shattered at that. She was safe because he was here. A fucking Ricci . Safe because of him. Safe from me.

I had to fix the damage leaving her had caused, and I had to do it soon. I wouldn’t be able to live in a world where my Jackie was afraid of me.

Vinny didn’t even look at me when he left, but I swear there was more threat in his silence than anything he could have put into words. When the door closed behind him, I sank down onto the couch, wishing briefly it would just swallow me whole. “I’m sorry, Jackie, so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to scare me.”

“No, baby, listen—”

“Don’t call me that, Gannon. You lost the right.”

I closed my eyes and nodded. “I know I did. And I have so much to make up for.” Shaking my head, I motioned toward her. “You deserved so much more from me.”

Jackie nodded. “You’re right. I did. You...” Her breath caught, her face briefly twisting in pain. “You destroyed me.”

If I thought there was nothing left of my heart to break, I’d been wrong. More of it crumbled in response to her words, at the hurt in her voice. “I fucked up,” I told her. “I was scared.”

“Of what? We were good , G. You threw us away like we hadn’t spent our whole lives working toward falling in love, like we didn’t have the rest of our lives mapped out in front of us.

You were supposed to cherish me, Gannon Hayes.

” She strode toward me now, anger taking place of the pain that resided in her eyes just seconds ago, and I saw the truth of what a strong woman she’d become in my absence.

How much of this was due to Vinny’s training.

.. and how much was due to Vinny actually cherishing her the way she deserved?

How much was it her , just Jackie, picking up the pieces and fusing them back together stronger than before?

She stopped in front of me and it took every ounce of my self-control not to reach for her.

“You broke me, Gannon.” Her words hitched on a sob and I reached for her then, whether by habit or selfishness, or the fact that in that moment, I couldn’t imagine not touching her.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and tugged her forward, pressing my forehead against her stomach. “I’m so sorry, Jackie, so fucking sorry. I’ll spend forever telling you that.”

“Those are just words, G.” Her hands settled on my shoulders, tentative, like she still wasn’t sure where we stood, if she should be touching me at all. If she even wanted to forgive me.

I inhaled deeply, trying to still my racing heart, then I froze.

With my head pressed against her belly, the scent of her was intoxicating, and mixed in with the hunger were memories of her that slammed into me like a thousand bricks at once.

They overwhelmed me. We’d been each other’s everything.

We were supposed to share all of our firsts and lasts, and I’d thrown it all away because I was afraid of her grief.

Afraid of not being enough, not knowing how to comfort her like she needed.

Afraid that her pain would act like a mirror and make me face my own, make me feel the horrific and untimely loss of my father that I’d tried so hard to push down and ignore.

Tears welled in my eyes and I didn’t try to stop them.

Her pain was my pain, always and forever, and it killed me that I’d done anything to add to it when my only job was to take it away. To make her life easier, to love her through it all.

I stood quickly, expecting her to back away from me, but when I clasped her face in my hands, she didn’t even flinch. Her eyes, wet with tears that flowed like rivers, searched mine, also wet with tears now flowing freely, back and forth until I couldn’t take it anymore.

Her heart beat fast and steady.

When I breathed her in, it was a barrage of familiarity. From the honey and vanilla of her shampoo to the soft breath fanning out across my cheeks that smelled of her sweet creamer and bitter coffee, overwhelming me with emotion that might burst from my skin at any moment.

Jackie Fiorino was mine. It didn’t matter that someone else had a piece of her heart right now because in the beginning, that heart was mine.

And in the end, that heart would be mine again.

I crashed into her with a year’s worth of pain and regret and shame, with a year’s worth of need that only she could quell. Our lips moved in sync because we’d been kissing one another since we were kids. I drove my tongue into her mouth and hers tangled with mine—

A sob slipped past her lips and she pushed me away from her so fiercely that I nearly stumbled backwards over the couch.

“No,” she whispered.

And then Vinny was there, of course , her knight in fucking Adidas armor, yanking her out of my reach and positioning himself between us.

His expression as he took in the scene sent ice through my veins.

He catalogued her tears and the way her hand hovered over her lips—as if torn between wiping any reminders of me from those soft pink pillows or pressing my kiss deeper into her flesh—then his gaze swung to me, to the tears streaking over my cheeks.

I swiped my hands across my cheeks and hung my head. “I’m sorry, Jackie.”

“What the fuck did you do?”

“Vinny,” Jackie whispered. “Please don’t.”

His nostrils flared and then his entire body tensed. He closed his eyes, and when they opened again, he looked right at me.

“I kissed her,” I admitted. The truth would come out eventually, might as well just get on with the ass kicking of my life.

“Vincenzo,” Jackie said, her voice firm. “Look at me.”

He inhaled deeply and swiveled his head toward her.

“It’s not his fault.” Her gaze flicked briefly to me. “I wanted him to.”

My heart nearly leapt from my chest, but I was careful not to let that elation show on my face, though Vinny could surely hear the way my pulse sped at her admission.

Vinny looked at me then, and I felt like I was about to get sent to the slaughter. “You. Out. Now.”

I stood quickly, not willing to push my luck twice.

“Wait for me in the car.”

When I left the apartment, I stood on the balcony. He’d be extra pissed that I lingered to listen in on their conversation, but I couldn’t help myself.

Part of me wanted to know what she’d say, but another, larger part of me, the part that wanted to make sure my Jackie was safe, wanted to see if he was an asshole.

And this would be a true test. He may be older than me and stronger, and even when he was a human could have kicked my ass six ways from Sunday, but at least I’d be close by if he tried to hurt her—

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

Huh.

He didn’t sound mad at all. He sounded... concerned.

My eyes narrowed. What was his game?

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I didn’t catch Jackie’s response, so she must have nodded. Or shaken her head. Fuck, I hoped it wasn’t the latter.

“I’m sorry, Vinny, I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean—”

“Hey now,” he said, “no apologies, okay? If we’re going to do this thing, we have to be open and honest and”—he paused and I held my breath—“if you need some time to figure things out with him, I can’t say I love the idea, but I also know that you’re a smart girl and you’ll do what’s best for you.”

I tilted my head, eyes widening. No shit? This was not the way I expected their conversation to go. Was it a trick? Was he playing the good cop or something?

“Vinny, no, I don’t want you to—”

“Sweet girl,” he said in a deep growl that made her breath catch. “He was in your life long before I was, and if you want to let him back in, what kind of man would I be to say no?”

“But...” She paused and I found myself leaning forward. “I thought you wanted to be with me.”

Fuck, that insecurity in her voice made my heart wrench with pain. Had I caused that? Had my disappearing act made her doubt how fucking special she is?

“Oh, don’t misunderstand, Jacqueline, I am with you.” He chuckled and added, “But I’m not going to be selfish with you any longer. I did that once and—”

“Don’t,” she murmured, shushing him. “I forgive you, remember?”

Tilting my head closer to the door, I frowned. What did she forgive him for?

“Because you’re too good, baby. I don’t deserve you. That punk ass ex-boyfriend probably doesn’t deserve you—”

I scowled, but he was right.

“—and I’m not going to go easy on him,” Vinny stated clearly.

“He broke your heart, and though that worked out quite nicely for me”—he paused and she giggled in a way that made jealousy flare to life in my chest—“he’s not going to find his way into my good graces very easily.

But you’re it for me, baby. I want you and I want you to choose me—not because he’s not here, but because he is —and because you know I’m the better fucking choice. ”

My hands curled into fists at my sides, and as soon as it was obvious a Ricci was kissing my girl, I strode swiftly down the stairs so I didn’t have to hear the sounds of pleasure he pulled from her.

Better fucking choice? A Ricci ? I snorted. Right.

We’d see about that.