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Dahlia

Why is this happening?

Frowning, tears pricked the back of my eyes as I walked through the mall.

After a busy and emotionally draining… life, really, but specifically the past few months, I’d needed to treat myself. Taking the T outside the city, I’d gone to a smaller mall, hoping for less of a crowd.

My hope had been for nothing because it’d been packed.

I’d picked a movie at random, and the only empty seat had been next to me. The rest of the theater had been full, groups laughing and chatting during the movie. No one but me seemed to be paying attention to the post-apocalyptic tale of a woman dealing with being alone as she tried to find other survivors. Every time she’d found someone, they’d been ripped out of her life. Or worse, they’d betrayed her. There’d been nothing funny about it.

‘It’s like her,’ the people behind me had loudly whispered, pointing to where I sat.

‘Lonely and lost,’ others had agreed.

I’d wanted to leave, but I needed to see the movie. See how it ended.

Making my way through the mall, I didn’t bother to window shop, even though I normally loved to. Every time I stopped, I’d hear the whispers, see the stares and pointing.

As if on cue, a group of girls my age walked by. Their style looked like they were inspired by the movieClueless, and they were carrying so many bags I was surprised they didn’t trip.

“What kind of loser comes to the mall by herself?” one of them asked.

The rest laughed, the group growing larger as more people joined them.

I wanted to leave, but I had hours until my train was due, and I was hungry.

Finding a cheap restaurant, I approached the hostess area and forced some fake confidence in my tone. “Table for one.”

Judgement and a sneer twisted the hostess’ face. “Follow me.”

I walked behind her as she led me to the largest table in the room. “How many people are supposed to sit here?”

“Thirty,” she said, her tone bored as she waited for me to sit there alone.

“Can I have another table, please?” I pleaded.

She shook her head and walked away.

I continued standing, unsure if I wanted to stay. More people pointed and stared, some laughing and whispering.

I’d always been alone, and it’d never bothered me. I was good at being independent and self-reliant. I didn’t need a big group of friends to know my self-worth.

“You’re all alone,” a crackling voice said from beside me.

“Mrs. Giovanni,” I said, startled. “What’re you doing all the way out here?”

She pulled off her plastic hat to show rollers in her hair. “It’s important to take care of yourself. And sometimes that means letting others help.”

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

“You’re all alone,” she repeated.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re okay. Not fine. Not good.”

I gestured to the large table. “Do you want to join me for lunch?”