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“No,” Regan snapped. “She’s not answering my prayers.”

“Maybe you need to pray harder,” Darius said.

“Or perhaps you could have a go,” Regan replied sweetly. “As she seemed to take a liking to you.”

Caleb saw a shudder of unease ripple across the vampire’s expression. It made him wonder what Regan’s mother was like. Then Regan sighed.

“What is it?” Caleb asked.

“I was remembering something Sardi said. He told me not to expect any help from my mother this time. I can’t help thinking there might be a reason she’s not answering.”

“Could he have done something to her?”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I’ll try and contact her. But don’t hold your breath.”

∞∞∞

Regan cast a sideways glance at Caleb. He had drawn away from her both mentally and physically. And who could blame him? This whole mess was her fault.

His face was closed, expressionless, but his body was tense. It was obvious that he regretted their closeness earlier, and a wave of longing washed over her. She longed to be alone with him, find somewhere they could release their wolves, run together until they fell from exhaustion, and then make love until they forgot everything. Wolf stirred at the thought. Caleb must have felt her. He flicked her a look of surprise, and for a brief flash, she saw his own wolf peek out from his eyes. Then he shut down.

She released a sigh of regret. She’d always known it could never work between them. She had loved once in her life and look how that ended. But at least it had ended. One of the reasons she refused resolutely to believe that Sardi could be alive was she was terrified that her feelings hadn’t died. That she would have to relive the whole scenario of destroying the one thing she loved. She wasn’t sure she could survive that a second time.

She looked again at Caleb. Tonight, for the first time, he had come to terms with what he was. He was strong. If he survived this whole Sardi fiasco, he would make a great leader. He was a man worthy of her love, but was she worthy of his? Could she ever bring anything but pain and destruction? Would she destroy him in the end as she had destroyed Sardi?

But Caleb wasn’t Sardi.

She realized that while she had survived Sardi, she would not want to survive if anything happened to Caleb. She’d seen how Sardi had looked at him. She needed to find a way to keep them apart.

But her first priority was to get Catrin away and safe. Unfortunately, she had no clue how to start.

Where was her goddamn mother?

She pushed back her chair and rose to her feet. Gina still held her hand, and Regan pulled free.

“I’m going to see if I can’t get hold of our dear mama,” she muttered.

Gina bit her lip but nodded. “Good luck.”

“Yeah, I’ll need it.”

She glanced again at Caleb; hoping he would say something, offer to come with her. Of course she would turn him down, but she needed some sign that he cared. Instead, he looked away.

She sighed and headed for the door. Caleb spoke as she was about to leave the room.

“Will you be at the pack ceremony tomorrow night?” His voice was toneless; she could get nothing of his thoughts. Did he want her there?

“I’ll be there.”

She made her way up to the roof of the building. Not that it would make any difference, but she liked to be outside to pray. The sun was fully risen now, but low in the sky. She stood and listened to the sounds of the city, muted up here but ever-present, the air filled with the scent of too many people, living too close together. She longed to be home.

With Caleb at her side.

She wanted to run with him in the ancient forest, show him the sacred places, sleep with him under the moon and stars. She wandered to the edge of the rooftop and leaned over the wall. Below her, traffic crawled by as humans went about their short lives. She’d never been part of that. Caleb had. How did it feel? Was he regretting the end of it? Would he try to maintain a place among men?

If he survived.

Oh God.

She sank to her knees and prayed.