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Miles nodded. "I understand." he said. He did a areat deal for me and the memory of my poor baby."

"I know you did a lot for him as well, Miles." "I'd like to think that." he said.

He was surprised and happy with the intensity of the hug and the kiss I gave him before I went up to sleep. Somehow. I felt I could touch my father through the people he had touched.

As I was preparing for bed, my phone rang. I expected it was probably Allan calling back to see if I was all right, but it wasn't. It was a greater and even more welcome surprise.

It was Amou. calling me from Rio de Janeiro.

"Willow," she said, "my cousin Tina called me a little while ago because she saw the story in the newspaper. I'm so sorry. He was a great man."

"Amou, how are you?"

"Eu sou bem, I am well for a velha senhora," she said.

I laughed. "You'll never be an old lady to me. Amou."

"I wish you could tell my bones that," she said. "How are you now. Willow?"

"I'll be all right, Amou."

"You go back to college?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." she said.

"You were here. Amou. Voce esta sempre em meu coracao," I told her. It was something she always said to me. It meant "You are always in my heart."

She laughed. "Maybe someday when you are graduated, you come to Brazil,' she said. "You almost speak the language."

"I will. Amou. I will."

"That will be a happy day for me. I know how hard it must be for you without a mama and a papa now,"

I hesitated, and then I said it. "I am not without a mama. Amou."

She was quiet.

"You always knew that, didn't you. Amou?'"

"Who told you this thing?" she asked.

"My father left me letters, his diary. He wanted me to know. He must have trusted you very much."

"He was afraid for you. You must be careful. Willow. A truth buried so long will not be the flower you wish or expect it would be. Some seeds are better left buried," she warned.

"Maybe, Amou. Maybe not."

"I worry for you," she said.

"And I worry for you," I replied.

She laughed. "Va con deus," she said. "You go with God. too," I told her.

After I hung up, all the tears I had kept inside broke out. I thought I could soak the bed.

Somehow, I managed to get myself settled down and in bed under the blanket. And then. just as my Aunt Agnes had predicted, I shut off the lights and began to face the loneliest night of my life in my house of memories.