Page 113 of What's in a Kiss?

“Okay.” I close my eyes. “Here goes.”

I have to get this right. It’s the most important thing.

“Jake.” I meet his eyes. They give me courage I didn’t know was available. I think back on our bravery at prom. “I know there’s another world. One where we...” I pause, seeking the words, “could be as good as we are now. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this world that have separated me from my mom and my BBS.” I glance at Masha, whose nod urges me on. “But in that other world, where I come from, I’ve really only made one.”

“What was your mistake?” he says, indulging me.

“I didn’t kiss you the first time I had the chance.”

He smiles. “Surely, there’ll be other opportunities,” he says in that sexiest voice. “You could seize the next chance, if it means so much to you.”

I open my mouth, then close it. Is it that simple?

But in my Real Life Jake and I are galaxies apart. “I can’t,” I tell him truthfully.

He steps closer to me, tips his forehead down to mine and whispers. “I feel like you should try.”

“You don’t understand,” I protest. “I’m messy. And you’re—”

He touches a finger to my lips. “In love with you. Here. There. Everywhere. All the wheres in all the worlds. Always.”

Tears fill my eyes. I kiss his finger at my lips. I take his hand and run my thumb along his wedding ring, while he still wears it, while he’s still mine. I rise on my toes and press my mouth to his. And just in case it’s the last chance I get to say it, at least let it also be the first.

“I’m in love with you, too. Everywhere.”

The opening chords of The Cure’s “Just Like Heaven” playaround us. Light blooms in my periphery. The ground beneath me shakes, then falls away.

For a moment everything is black.

“Jake?” I call into the darkness. This didn’t happen last time. I’m supposed to still be staring at him under Masha’s chuppah on the beach, just back in my Real Life, where we’re not married, where I drive a Lyft, and he’s a star.

But I’m not under any chuppah. I’m nowhere near a beach or Jake. Fear grips me as the darkness shifts and I blink in sudden florescent lighting.

I’m... in high school. Walking toward my English class. I look down at the bomber jacket I’d gotten for Christmas, at my skinny jeans and Converse, and I know it’s the first day of spring semester, junior year. Rounding a corner in the hallway, my shoulder bumps someone else’s. I look up and see it’s him. Seventeen years old and gorgeous, and—didn’t this momentreallyhappen? Didn’t I glare at Jake instead of realizing I should have fallen head over heels right then?

I know it now. So I take the chance. I smile. “Hi. I’m Olivia—”

There’s another flash of light, another rift beneath my feet. Suddenly, I’m at the gas station near my parents’ house, filling up my car. When I look over, I see him watching me. He grins. I grin back. “You go to Palisades,” he says. “I’m new—”

Flash. A boy steps onto a darkened stage, facing me up on the makeshift balcony. I’d know the moment anywhere. Auditions for our senior play.

“So strive my soul,” Jake says.

“A thousand times good night,” I say, knowing I’m supposed to exit now, but I can’t. I stand transfixed as he says his next line.

“A thousand times the worse, to want thy light—”

Flash. I’m on a picnic blanket on Mulholland, leaning in to kiss Jake first—

I’m in Masha’s parents’ basement, watching him lean in to kiss me—

I’m in the ice cream aisle at Ralph’s, holding two pints of gelato as I wrap my arms around him and make the first move—

I’m on a boat, fishing with my dad and Jake and when my dad turns away for an instant, Jake leans over and shyly, quickly pecks me on the lips, beating me to it, much to my surprise—

I’m at prom, on a curb, and Jake says,I know there’s another world, and I say,Me too, and we both lean in at precisely the same time—

Flash. I’m at my father’s funeral. Jake’s there, holding my hand...