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“Dead,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “Do you care, my star?”

I paused, trying to decide if I did in fact care. Not for Jensen as a person, but for another Marked life gone to waste. “Did you kill him?” I asked, regretting the words as soon as they left my mouth.

Caelum grinned, something malignant flashing over his face.

“No, but I didn’t save him either.”

35

We caught up to Melian and Beck at the end of the tunnel, finding them waiting in the tree line just beyond the secret entrance to the city. “Jensen?” she asked, but from the dejected look on her face, she already knew what had happened to the other man.

Though I suspected Caelum would be dead if she knew he’d allowed it willingly. My head swam with the implications that he might have allowed another man to die, simply because he’d crossed a boundary with me. Still, I couldn’t begin to confront my relief at having Caelum at my side, even if he was stained by the blood of those he’d killed. But the comprehension of what he’d done lingered just out of reach, as if I was in shock, waiting for reality to sink in and swallow me whole.

We walked for an hour after leaving the escape tunnel, going further into the woods and leaving the city behind us as we searched for a safe place to sleep. There were no caves to keep us warm here, only the barren fields and wooded lands of the Isle of Ruin to harbor us.

“We need to rest,” Melian said, kicking the snow away from a clear spot tucked beneath one of the larger trees. Beck sat against the trunk, leaving Melian to lower herself to the ground between his spread legs and lean her back into his chest. I went silent for a moment as I curiously watched the practiced, intimate moment between the two of them.

“We should go back,” Beck said, disrupting the silence as Caelum cleared another spot of snow and sat down the same way Beck had. He grabbed me around the waist, pulling me down so that I nestled into the cradle of his embrace. The warmth of his body sank into me, heating the parts of me that I wasn’t certain would ever get warm again.

I wished I’d let him convince me to go back to the caverns, to turn a blind eye to those hiding in Calfalls and suffering.

“We’ve made it this far. We have to get to the people in Calfalls,” Melian said, glancing in the opposite direction of home. “Perhaps Beck should return the long way around the city and warn the others to go on guard, so no one leaves the tunnels except for an emergency. If the Fae have already infiltrated the cities this far North, nowhere is safe.”

“I won’t leave you out here unguarded,” Beck said, curling his arm tighter around her waist. There was something between them that went beyond a casual liaison, but I’d also seen hints of a similar relationship between Melian and Duncan.

Everything was different in the Resistance.

Melian sighed but nodded, accepting that he wouldn’t willingly leave her side; not when the Fae were everywhere.

“Have you ever seen the Ruined City, Estrella?” Melian asked.

“No” Shaking my head, I felt certain she already knew the answer. I didn’t think there were many people alive who’d seen Calfalls for themselves. It wasn’t often that people went to the city that was abandoned and destroyed.

“All of us should see it once in our lifetime. We should bear witness to the destruction the Fae wrought during the last war, so that we can truly understand what is at stake now. You both need to understand that there are greater concerns than whatever it is that’s between you,” she said, turning to Beck and nodding at him in confirmation.

“Why are they in the Ruined City?” I asked. The place that was devoid of all life seemed like an odd choice for a colony of living, breathing people.

“Nobody thinks to look there,” she said, dropping her head. “But if the Fae are willing to infiltrate cities filled with the Mist Guard, nowhere is safe.”

I rested my head on Caelum’s shoulder as dread crept through me. We’d reached another catalyst, our safety torn from our grasp. There was only so much instability I could stomach. Only so much I could tolerate as my eyes drifted closed.

I breathed in Caelum’s scent of winter, the hum of his Fae Mark floating between us on a breath of wintergreen. The knowledge that he belonged to another—he’d never truly be mine if the Fae came for us—writhed between us as I clung to him more tightly while the others fell asleep.

Caelum took the first watch, cradling my head gently as he coaxed me to sleep with gentle fingers and murmured promises. My eyes fluttered open for a brief moment, finding his dark eyes staring down at me as if nothing else in his world mattered.

“If you keep searching for answers, my star, it’s likely you’ll find them,” he murmured as my eyes closed for the final time.

Sleep claimed me, those ominous words and the warning held in them carrying me into the depths of dreams better left untouched. I dreamt of the monsters of Faerie, of the beasts beyond the Veil crossing over the mist and making their new homes in the human realm. I dreamt of ruin, of Brann’s ashes in the wind, and the hulking form of a Fae male making his way toward me as he laid waste to the world.

I thrashed in my sleep, rolling from side to side until the cold press of dirt against my cheek jolted me awake. Caelum was gone from beneath me, the warmth of his body missing from my sleeping place. I pushed myself upright, peering into the darkness around me and counting the sleeping bodies of my companions surrounding the fire.

Melian. Beck. But no Caelum.

Rising to my feet, I looked around the wooded area where we’d made our camp for the night. The cold air kissed my cheek as I stepped out of the alcove of trees and onto the snow-covered grass beside them. Careful not to wake the others, I ventured farther into the woods in search of the man who’d left my side in the middle of the night.

“Caelum?” I called, my voice as loud as I dared in the quiet of the forest. Fear that something might have happened to him consumed me, and my hands trembled where I shoved them into the pockets sewn into my cloak. I spun, looking around the path for any signs of the man I so desperately needed to find. I’d never forgive myself if something had happened to him while I slept.

We were supposed to go together, despite my hesitation in trusting him. I couldn’t give myself to him wholeheartedly, not with whatever he didn’t want me to know looming between us, but I couldn’t let him go, either.