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I crawled on top of him, straddling his waist and resuming our frenzy as if I had nothing to lose.

Did I have something to lose?

Do you feel lucky to be alive?

I hate you, I hate you.

I love you.

I will rip this world apart until I can place you in the sky myself, princess.

It had to stop. I had to stop this.

My mind raced through memories of him and my heart pounded just as wickedly. What in the Saints was I doing?

Do you feel lucky to be alive?

I didn’t think. I couldn’t. I could only act. I reached down to my thigh, where the same dagger that Malachi had gifted me on our wedding night was strapped, and pulled it out.

And I pressed it to his throat.

Malachi stilled beneath me, a sudden cool breeze slicing the heat between us.

“Jade,” he said carefully. “What are you doing?”

I knew I couldn’t kill him. We both knew.

But I needed to do something. Anything. He deserved it. Hedeservedto pay for what he had done to me.

I hate you.

“Jade,” he said again when I didn’t reply. His hands were out in surrender at his sides. “I know you are angry. I know I deserve this. I deserve worse than this, trust me.”

I realized then that tears streamed down my face, dripping one by one onto his bare chest.

“No,” I muttered through gritted teeth. “You deserve…you deserve…”

I couldn’t finish the thought. Whatdidhe deserve? He had saved my life. He was my savior and yet he was also my captor.

I was lost. I was incredibly, irrevocably lost.

I dropped the dagger, letting it fall onto the bed next to us.

And I cried.

“Oh, Jade,” Malachi said, bringing his hands to my face and wiping my tears.

He sat up, wrapping his arms around me and holding me to his chest.

I cried for Tessa, for the pain she had gone through. I cried for my father. I cried for Malachi, for everything he deserved and everything he didn’t.

And I cried for myself.

Do you feel lucky to be alive?

The truth was, I didn’t feel much of anything at all.

CHAPTER8