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And I hate her even more for it.
How can I hurt the woman I’m supposed to protect?
Why won’t she stop me when she knows I’ve lost control?
When I come, it’s hard and deep inside her, my mouth covering hers as my cock throbs with the orgasm, her body clamping down on mine as she falls apart at the same time.
I’m sorry.
It’s all I can think.
A million times, I’m sorry.
Yet neither of us can breathe to say it.
Reality sets in immediately when our bodies calm down.
And with it, the guilt.
Alwaysthe guilt.
I’m destroying the woman who holds me together. And by hurting her I’m hurting myself. I should walk away. End this. Set us both free. But I can’t let go of a woman who was born to be mine. Even as the world constantly attempts to steal her.
I set her down, my head full of cobwebs and confusion, both our movements jerky and uncoordinated as we tuck our clothes into place and look at each other not knowing where to go next.
Silence sets between us so thick it’s deafening. That damn guilt hanging over us like a shroud. We’re in the same room and yet there are miles between us.
It should never have come to this.
And all I know how to do is make it worse.
“I should leave,” I say as I stab a hand through my hair, clenching my fingers to tug at the strands because...fuck...that shouldn’t have happened.
Yet we’re powerless to stop it because beneath the guilt, the hurt, and the hatred is a love so deep, so true and so undeniable that we’re puppets to it, our strings held by all the barriers between us.
We want a lifetime.
We want a future.
And all we’re given is short moments when we can pretend loving each other is possible.
Emily nods and steps out of the way, and when she turns her face, I know she’s hiding what she’s thinking and feeling.
I just used her, and she just let me.
A good man would stop and make sure she’s okay. A man who loves her would refuse to walk off.
I do love her.
But I’m not good.
Instead of comforting her, I slice her open again.
“I think we both know you deserved that.”
She flinches, but doesn’t look my direction.
“For what?”