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My eyebrows shot up. “Guilt?”

He scrubbed a hand over his jaw, his brow furrowed. “I saw the look on the boy’s face, his terror. I usually shut that out, you know.”

“And Leo made you feel differently?”

His eyes slid to mine, his expression mournful. “It’syou. Sometimes, when I’m around you, I remember what it feels like to be alive. But that’s not really what I am anymore, and I’m not mortal. I never will be. I’ll never be the sort of person you’d admire, and I don’t even have the corrosive self-hatred like Maelor does that would make me palatable to you. I can’t let myself care too much, though, because if I smother my instincts when people scream, if I deny my impulses when they shake with fear, if I let their revulsion sink into my bones, I wouldn’t be here anymore. A vampire’s callousness is self-preservation.”

I took a sip of my wine, eyeing him over the rim of my glass. “And, what? I messed it up for you?”

A faint smile ghosted over his lips. “Yes, you messed it up for me.”

I again sipped the wine, my curiosity sparking. “When was the last time you felt fear?”

“I feel fear when someone I care about is in danger.” He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t much like the feeling.”

Dread crept over me like a cold shadow. He cared about Bran. I’d killed the personhecared about.

Suddenly, I desperately wanted to change the subject. “Are we doing dinner tonight?”

He smiled a bit more at that. “Of course. I was hoping you’d join us.”

And only then, for the first time as I thought of Bran, did a sharp tendril of guilt coil through my chest.

I walkedthrough the torchlit halls dressed in a gown that Rowena had left in my wardrobe—white with tiny, flared sleeves, a plunging neckline, and a slit that went all the way to the top of my thigh. I’d tucked a little white poppy behind my ear.

Until I’d come to the castle, I’d never really felt glamorous. Now, I loved the freedom of traipsing around with my arms exposed, dressed in the most luxurious silks. But when I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a tall, arched window, I shuddered for a moment. In the white gown, I looked likehimfor a moment—the Serpent. In my reflection, a shadowy, phantom snake twined around my body. I blinked, and the vision disappeared.

I smoothed out my dress.

Turning, I kept walking until I reached the staircase that led up to the lunarium, where the doors stood open in invitation.

Tonight, Lydia sat across from me, and she smiled as I entered the open-air room. The windows, flanked by vine-covered columns, gave us a view of the star-flecked sea. A briny wind filtered in, sweeping over Sion, Maelor, and Lydia.

“Isn’t this the most beautiful dining room in the world?” asked Lydia. “I knew you’d love it here, Elowen. I tried to tell you.”

Maelor rose as I crossed to the table and pulled out a chair for me.

“Thank you,” I said, as I settled into my seat.

Sion leaned back in his chair. He hadn’t bothered to stand. “Such a gentleman, isn’t he?”

The moment I sat, a servant swept in with a plate for me—salmon, carrots, and buttery potatoes seasoned with rosemary. Sion picked up a bottle of wine and filled my glass.

Lydia heaved out a heavy sigh at the plate that had been set before her. “Finally, I can eat. I’ve been waiting for you to show up.” She cut into her food.

Sion frowned at me. “Why wait to eat? I don’t understand it.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s a human convention.” I took a bite of salmon and potato, closing my eyes, savoring the rich taste.

Across the table, Lydia moaned. “I’ve never had food like this. Not even in my father’s manor house.”

Sion flashed a dark smile. “That’s because your father is a cunt.”

“Change of subject.” With a nervous smile at Lydia, I said, “Today was a success, I think, with practicing my magic. Maelor helped me a great deal. I actually killed a stag.”

Sion glanced at Maelor. “He brought it to the kitchens. Our cooks will prepare it for the mortals. I believe they’re slowly roasting the meat now.”

Lydia fluttered her eyelashes at me. “Isn’t this place perfection? I wish Anselm could see it—but he wouldn’t really have a role here, would he?”