Page 144

“Do you think I would’ve walked away?” His voice breaks. “That I would’ve justletyou go? That I’m that fucking shallow?” His hand tightens on me to the point of hurting. I want him to hold me even harder.

“I—” My voice trembles. I can’t finish the sentence. He’s right. Ididdecide I was going to run.

“You assumed. You decided. You came up with this world in your head where I didn’twantyou if you couldn’t have children?”

When he says it like that, my heart thuds. My throat tightens.

Maybe I didn’t want to face rejection again. Maybe I don’t know what it means to be safe. Maybe Iwantsomething real.

I don’t want to run anymore.

I want to be caught.

“Yeah,” I whisper. “I… didn’t want to hurt you.”

He quirks a brow, stern and unyielding, and I can hardly bear to look at him. “You thought running from me would be better than telling me the truth?”

I sigh and nod. Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what I thought.

He shakes his head. “You think I only want what you could give me?”

He pulls me closer, his forehead pressed to mine. My heart aches. His eyes are pure fire.

“Fuck, woman.”

Tears roll down my cheeks. “I thought—” I shake my head. “All this time, you’ve talked about getting me pregnant, having a baby. And then I sawwhy.I felt that.”

His face twists with anguish and anger. My heart aches. He’s lost a sister and a brother and just found out his own mother betrayed him. And I… decided to run.

His breath catches. “This is my fault. I own this. I haven’t shown you enough how much you mean to me.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. You mean fuckingeverythingto me. I heard what that bastard did to you, and I had to avenge you,now.I should’ve been more patient. I should have stayed.” He shakes his head. “I never should’ve left you to be assaulted by my asshole of a mother. Never. I’m sorry, Anissa. Forgive me.”

I nod, swimming in a well of emotion that hits me in waves. His eyes meet mine, unrelenting. On fire.

“I chooseyou.Not what you can give me. You’remine.”

He holds me and lets me cry. Cradles the back of my neck with a gentleness I didn’t know he could give and I didn’t know I needed. He wraps his hand around my waist as if trying to fuse the two of us together.

I try to speak, but the words are stuck in my throat. My vision’s blurred. I taste salt and shame as a half sob breaks from me. I try to hold it in and fail.

“I wantyou.Not some fucking fantasy. Not some goddamn bloodline. Me, of all people, should know how fucked up that shit is. If I ever have a family, it’ll be with you. Even if it’s justus.We’ll figure it out. But you, Anissa? I choose you.”

I can hardly think straight when he says in a low, dangerous growl, “If you ever think of leaving again, I’ll chain you to the bed and make you take your meals in your fucking cage.”

He leans in. “And I amdefinitelybranding you.”

I shiver. The word makes my stomach clench. I shouldn’t want something so brutal, so vicious, but the craving inside says otherwise.

Still, I cling to him, my heart pounding. “You’recrazy.”

“As ifyou’reperfectly sane.”

Right now, I’m still broken, still raw.

“God, Matvei,” I say. I drop my head to his shoulder. I try fruitlessly to ignore the way this feels like blessed relief. “Do you guys ever do anything normal and boring?”

He kisses my forehead and pulls me to his chest. “Semyon plays chess…”

“And you and Rodion probably drag race high.”