Page 112

Apart from that, and the fact that none of the independent contractors had billed hours, she was in an informational black hole.

Things were no better with Jayson. They’d been mending their relationship and spending more and more time together, but he wouldn’t tell her anything. He insisted that it would only compromise her, but she was sure it was because he didn’t trust her. And why would he? She wouldn’t trust herself in this situation either. She was compromised on both sides and cracked down the middle.

For eight and a half hours a day Charlotte sat at her desk, muscles tensed and coiled as if ready to run at a moment's notice while she checked and triple checked the books, reconciling every discrepancy to the penny. She went back a decade and would’ve gone further, but the software had its limitations. If a forensic accountant ever looked, they wouldn’t find a single cent out of place. It was the best she could do, but it wasn’t enough.

She’d seen Alex only a handful of times. Like an apparition out of the corner of her eye. Those were the worst times. After going a decade without crying, she’d unleashed something and even the sight of Alex’s Rover in the parking lot reduced Charlotte to tears.

So she stayed in her o ce with the door closed all day.

She didn’t eat. She didn’t go to the bathroom. Charlotte rarely needed to interact with anybody before, and since asking the other departments to send her emails instead of dropping in, she didn’t have to speak to anyone. If anyone thought this was strange, they didn’t mention it to her.

The exception to Charlotte’s solitary work life was Paola.

For the first week, Charlotte got to work before her and left when she was gone, but when she realized she wasn’t getting fired anytime soon, she had to face her.

Smiling and chatting with Paola in the morning drained her completely, but she did her best to appear normal. Even if she couldn’t remember what it was like before the gaping, wrenching chasm opened in her chest. Her agony was everyone else’s routine. Paola was safe in her monotony, and Charlotte envied her for it.

Days were a blessing compared to nights. When she was alone in the su ocating silence of her bedroom, Charlotte desperately missed Alex. Lying awake, she wondered every night if it would be the one when they broke down Alex’s door to carry her away. The thought of heavy boots destroying the tranquility of Alex’s sanctuary shredded Charlotte’s heart long after she was out of tears.

Weight loss and insomnia were nothing compared to what Alex must be going through. She was probably losing sleep too, but instead of wallowing in self-pity, she was worried about the people she had promised to keep safe. She was probably working all day and night to prevent the worst.

Charlotte didn’t dare wonder if Alex missed her. She didn’t hope that Alex would see that she’d do anything to help her. That she would protect her with her life if it came to that. Charlotte already barely trusted people, if someone did to her what she did to Alex, she’d never give them a second chance.

But sometimes, when she fell somewhere between a dream and waking, she imagined it. Even though it hurt when she woke up, she indulged in every memory she and Alex made together. The pain was worth it to be with her again. If only for fleeting moments in her mind.

What else could she do until it was over? Being in her universe was better than being banished all together. When that day came, she’d be out with no chance of ever earning her way back in.

CHAPTER 43

JUST BEFORE VALENTINE’S DAY, a day Charlotte decided to abhor for the rest of her life, she walked into her o ce. Much like she had an eternity ago, she found Stephanie waiting for her there.

This time, Stephanie was sitting comfortably in Charlotte’s chair. She wondered how long she’d been there.

How early she’d woken up to beat her in? Was it worth it to make a dramatic entrance?

“Are you here to fire me?” Charlotte asked, too tired to play games. She would’ve preferred a call from Linda before dragging her body all the way in, but at least this chapter was ending.

“I should be,” she decided, her crossed legs peaking from under a violet dress. “As soon as its all clear and won’t look suspicious, I’ll happily be the one to tell you you’re out on your ass.”

Charlotte sat in the chair across from her own desk. As Stephanie told her once, nothing there belonged to her. Not really.

“Do you have any idea the level of shit we’ve been taking care of?” Stephanie snapped, apparently provoked by Charlotte’s silence.

“No,” she replied quietly, “but I can imagine.”

“You can imagine,” she mocked, her dark eyes peering into her. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? That’s why you turned up here and pushed and pushed until Alex finally let you in.”

Charlotte lowered her gaze. There was no way to explain herself that Stephanie would understand. She wasn’t naive enough to expect sympathy.

“I searched this place a few times,” Stephanie volunteered, her crossed leg shaking in a steady rhythm.

“There was just something about you, but I couldn’t find anything. Nothing uploaded to the shared drive. Nothing downloaded or modified.” She gestured around the room.

“No bugs. I even had our private investigator dig deeper. Tail you for a while. Nothing.” Stephanie glared at her, her rage simmering just beneath her cool exterior. “But I knew you were hiding something. Alex would’ve seen it earlier if you hadn’t wrapped her around your little finger.”

Guilt and shame curled Charlotte’s spine and forced her attention away from Stephanie’s face. “I can’t excuse what I did before I knew Alex.”

“Try,” she demanded through gritted teeth.