Page 31

But maybe that’s just my fucking loneliness talking.

I take a deep breath as I strengthen my resolve, because neither rocks nor Lachlan fucking Greer is going to keep me from doing this one thing. I amgoingto finish this, at the very least.

I make my way along the shore with determination in my steps, finding the same wide, flat rock from that first day that marks the start of a path of sorts farther out into the water. I test my brand-new boots against the stone to ensure that they have the grip the store owner promised, inhaling deeply before stepping up onto the rock.

Stupid, I hear Lachlan’s voice say.That’s what you are.

I grit my teeth and take another step, moving toward the next rock that’s just a little higher.

She’s not a MacKay, says Rhona’s voice in my head.Not really.

Another step, and I have to shift my dad’s urn under one arm to grasp the largest rock and start to hoist myself up.

We lost Duncan the day he walked out of this house, and I’m not interested in anything he left behind.

Standing a few feet higher than the water, I feel a rush of accomplishment, because even if I failed at what I came here for, even if I never know this part of my dad, and in turn this part of myself—I can say that I did this, at the very least. I bring the urn higher to press my forehead against it, closing my eyes for a moment as I quietly tell my dad goodbye for the last time. I know if I drag this out, I’ll end up crying myself to sleep right here on this rock, and the last thing I need is for some asshole farmhand to find me out here tomorrow morning with a smug look and a big fatI told you so.

I remove the lid from the urn, taking one last deep breath before tipping it down to let the contents flutter in the light breeze, watching as they gently float toward the water below. I watch until the urn is empty in my hands, the weight of it seeming more substantial now. Even empty, it feels heavy in my grip.

“I did it,” I whisper. “I did it, Dad.”

I smile despite everything, feeling a flicker of triumph.

And it’s exactly at that moment that I’m thrown into the water.

It takes me several seconds to orient myself when I break the surface of the loch, gasping for breath as an ache blooms in my legs and my shoulder. Somethinghitme. Something solid andlarge.I felt the weight of it sweep across my legs just before my shoulder collided with the rock, grateful in hindsight that I didn’t bash my skull against it on the way down.

I kick my legs under the water as I turn my head to try and determine the culprit, and even as I’m trying to make sense of it, alarm bells are sounding in my head. The rational part of my brain is desperately trying to dismiss the notion, trying to make sense of how I got from point A to point B in a way that is logical and not mythical in the slightest—but a splash a few yards away shuts that little voice right up.

I don’t see it at first—maybe because it’s dark out. The light of the moon and the stars only offers so much, the glow of them making the water’s surface seem almost black. But the distinct shape ofsomethingrolls with the wave that passes in front of me, and inside it there is an impression, an impossibility, really, because there isno way.

First comes the head: wide and flat with eyes that gleam like a cat’s in the night. The shape of its neck follows, then the curve of its back as it glides through the water. I’m frozen, unable to do anything but try to stay afloat and gape at what—until this very moment—I had been almost sure didn’t actually exist, but proof is right there, coming at me at breakneck speed that doesn’t even allow me time to be properly terrified.

I’m going to be eaten by the fucking Loch Ness Monster.

It’s a hysterical thought, one that in my delirious state almost makes me laugh—and I see teeth now,sharpteeth—and this is really it. This is how I’m going to go.

Stupid. That’s what you are.

He would really get a kick out of this if he—

The force of another wave pushes me farther in as it crashes over me, and I have to kick my legs even harder to try and stay afloat. Water gets in my eyes and my mouth as I come up sputtering, blinking water away and trying to clear my blurred vision as a haunting sound rings out in the night. Like a fucking dinosaur and the screechof a bird rolled into one, the roar of the monster is so loud that it feels impossible that someone might not hear it even from miles away, and it distracts me for a moment so that I don’t immediately realize what I’m seeing.

Because not only is the fucking Loch Ness Monsterreal, but apparently—there is more than one.

I watch as a similar monster rushes the first, snapping at it with its teeth and rolling its body against it as if trying to force it in the other direction. The first monster howls, spinning in the water with a ferocity that pushes me below the surface again. I see the new monster rolling its body weight into the first when I manage to sputter topside again, and when it rolls once more to put its body between me and the first beast—an impossible thought occurs to me.

I think it’sprotectingme.

It seems ludicrous, but every move from this second monster seems purposeful, designed to keep the first one away from me, and absolutely nothing about that makes sense. If I weren’t cold and terrified and half drowning, I might marvel at that, but as it is—I take the opportunity given by my would-be savior to start swimming in the other direction. Let the monsters duke it out. This is more than I bargained for.

I swim away as best as I can with the throbbing in my legs from where the monster struck me, hearing the commotion of their battle still raging behind me. Another screech pierces the air, one that sounds almost…pained this time, and I can’t help the way I pause in the water, turning to see who’s winning. I feel a pang of sympathy when I realize that my protector has just received a nasty bite from its opponent, the flesh where its long neck meets its body ragged and darker as if coated with blood.

You can’t do anything to help it, I rationalize.Get the fuck out of here.

I float idly for a span of seconds as my protector continues to fight back, my eyes going wide when it surges upward suddenly, its massive body crashing into the other monster with all its might. Another howl of pain, this time from the one that wanted to eat me, and as if by some miracle, it starts to swim in the other direction. I watch it sink lower into the water, its body disappearing more and more by the second—my protector lingering several yards away and seeming to watch it go. It makes another low sound, teetering a bit in the water, and I watch as it slowly turns, its glowing eyes landing on me.

Oh, shit.