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I grasp the blades of grass beneath me but they offer me no support. Pressing my palms into the ground instead, I try to lift to my elbows. Brax stops me before I’m up, hand draping around my neck as he lowers me.

His fingers flex, tightening just right around my throat as I gulp.

“Just because I love you too doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on you,” he rasps, snapping his cock in and out at an unbelievable pace, forcing a moan from my lips. My heart feels like it’s going to explode from the slip of his tongue, but I don’t get a chance to process it as he repeats the move again. “You’re making me break my vow, Shadow. That has to come with a punishment, too,” he adds, tightening his hold on my throat, cutting off my airway, and my senses instantly heighten.

My face heats, my pulse pounding as my brain pleads for oxygen, but his hold doesn’t relent as he thrusts into me harder, faster. Gripping his wrists, I know how useless it is, but I fight against him anyway. I dig my fingers into his flesh, my mouth parting on silent cries as my body plays to his rhythm perfectly.

On his next thrust, he takes me over the edge. No warning, no build-up, just pure pleasure claiming my body, tingling through my veins as ecstasy turns me into a puddle in his grasp.

He broke his vow.

“We’re not done yet, Shadow,” he grunts, releasing his hold on my throat as he grabs my waist, spinning me beneath him.

I’m beyond disoriented as he pulls me around like a rag doll. Palms pushing into the ground, ass in the air, knees in the dirt, parted and waiting for him. He fills me again in the next breath, filling me deeper as he spreads my ass cheeks. His fingers are bruising, each slam of his cock punishing, but all it does is send tingles through my veins again.

“Fuck. How is it supposed to be a punishment when everything I do makes your pussy drip?”

I grin, glancing back over my shoulder at him. “Say it again.” He frowns, confused by what I’m asking for, but his pace doesn’t falter. “Say it again, Brax.”

A flicker of understanding crosses his eyes, but he quickly tamps it down, pushing a hand between my shoulder blades. I lower my chest to the ground, my hands still clutching at the grass as his hand moves from my back to my head, pressing my face into the ground.

I startle when I realize how close we are to the cliff edge. If I reach my left arm out it would drape over the side. It’s freeing, almost as much as speaking the truth to him was.

“Say it,” I push again, my lids falling closed as he claims my body with every pounding of his hips. His fingers tangle in my hair, pinning me more harshly against the ground as he fucks me with raw abandon.

“Come for me, Shadow,” he orders, his voice raspier now.

“Say it,” I repeat again. He grunts, not wanting to give me what I want, but saying it is fucking beautiful, and hearing it… wow. “I love you, Brax.”

He stutters, his hips faltering before suddenly quickening to a pace I didn’t believe possible. I feel his heat along my back before his whisper against my ear. “I love you.”

My pussy clenches around his cock as my world flips. The words start a chain reaction, tingling from my toes, rippling through my core before zapping through my fingertips. My pulse echoes in my ears as I succumb to the orgasm.

Brax’s thrusts become sporadic as he finds his release, and it’s only when my pulse quiets in my ears that I hear the chant falling from my lips.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

He collapses above me, his breath brushing over my neck as I come down from the greatest high.

I have no idea how much time passes before I blink my eyes open to see the last tendrils of light disappear from the sky, casting pretty shadows over the mountain range in the distance.

A shiver runs through me as the chill in the air brings me back to the present.

In this moment, when pain mixes with pleasure, love, and abundance, the reminder of the guys missing from my presence clings to me.

I refuse to let it be my downfall, though. No. It’s my focus, my promise, my vow.

I’m going to tell them I love them.

No matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice. My future is worth it all.

NINE

RAVEN

Sleep eludes me. A familiar feeling at this stage. My eyes are glossed over, not really seeing as I blink into the darkness. Brax’s arm is draped over my stomach, holding me close as his steady breathing offers comfort.

Caught between drowning in numbness, crying until the sobs make me pass out, and the desperate need to do… something, anything, leaves me paralyzed beneath the sheets. My mind is unrelenting, circulating on every worry I have, playing on repeat as they keep me awake.