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“Go for it,” I told Torrin in a low voice, my back to Micah so he couldn’t see what I was saying.

“He doesn’t… I mean he’s not…” He fumbled and I got it. “I tried and he brushed me off and I got the vibe that I made him uncomfortable. But I didn’t mean to do that.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

Torrin gave me a sad smile that somehow reminded me of Stace.

“You can’t win ’em all, right?”

“You’ll get the next one,” I said, feeling a little weird. He was my yoga student, but he was also Stace’s brother. I wasn’t exactly sure how to act around him.

“Thanks,” he said, laughing and running a hand through his hair. “I’m going to go drown my sorrows in some ice cream. Early shift tomorrow.”

He left and I turned around to find that Micah was gone. He’d snuck out while I was chatting with Torrin.

Poor Torrin. Having crushes on straight people was all part of the queer experience, but it wasn’t a pleasant one.

Looks like Micah doesn’t play for our team I sent to Stace. It felt a little weird to be sharing something like that, but I figured that Torrin was going to tell her anyway.

Really? I could have sworn. Damn. But maybe he hasn’t figured it out yet? Can’t do much about that. Poor Tor. He’s probably at the grocery store right now buying out the ice cream section.

That made me laugh out loud and I got a few looks as I left the locker room.

I’m sure he’ll bounce back, but he might need his sister to comfort him I sent.

Yeah, I’ll wait for him to tell me, but I’ll be here for him when he wants to wallow.

She really was a wonderful sister.

I’d just gotten home that night when my mother decided to call. She’d been leaving me alone for the most part lately and I’d relaxed too much. I should have known she’d lull me into a false sense of security and then pop back up like a nightmare.

I let her go to voicemail and then tortured myself a little bit by listening to it. More law school guilt. This time she was having lunch with so-and-so who could write me a recommendation or something. Then there was the reminder that the winter charity events would be coming up soon and she didn’t want me to miss them.

That was too bad because I was definitely going to miss them. Every other year I’d been willing to go along to get along, but I was absolutely over it. No more. I’d see my family for Christmas, but not for anything else. I was done.

Would I let them know that I was done? Not unless they pushed me. I really hoped it wouldn’t come to that. I could handle confrontation with anyone else, but not with my parents. Whenever we spoke I somehow reverted into an absolute child who couldn’t speak for herself. Who got tongue-tied and couldn’t find the right words and couldn’t fight for myself. It was awful and ugly and I hated it, so the best way to cope was to avoid. Ignore. Hope they’d give up.

My apartment was too quiet again and I actually thought about showing up at Sapph and pestering Reid. She’d give me a free drink and let me sit at the end of the bar and come and talk to me when she had breaks. I didn’t want to bother her though. Not when she was on the clock. Maybe this week I’d agree to go on a hike with her.

Cade was probably in bed with Eloise already. Keeping my circle small meant that when I needed to turn to someone, my options were limited.

I didn’t know if Stace was on call or currently rescuing someone from a fire, but I gave it a shot.

Hey, are you busy? Or awake? I felt a little foolish typing a message like that, but I hit Send before I could second guess myself.

Stace responded almost immediately.

No, I’m not busy and yes, I’m awake. What’s up?

I typed out three messages before I finally sent one that I still wasn’t happy with.

Just needed someone to talk to and I remember you offering. Is that offer still good? I sent.

Again, she answered immediately. Hell yeah it is. Do you want to talk via message? Or I can call you.

I wasn’t going to tell her, but I wanted to hear her voice. Before I could type out an answer, she was calling me.

“Hey. I figured I could just call you and you’ll tell me if you don’t want to talk this way.”