Page 101
Story: Two is a Pattern
The server returned and set their plates in front of them.
Annie stared at the food, a lump in her throat. This was harder than she’d thought it would be. Opening up to Helen was fostering hope in Annie, and hope without fulfillment was going to be torture. It was going to fester inside her.
Helen picked up her fork but held it suspended above her plate. “When you left, it wasn’t easy. You broke my heart. It’s comforting to hear, I suppose, that I didn’t do something to drive you away, but just because I got hurt all those years ago doesn’t mean I want you to fail in your new position.”
“Thank you.” Annie took a bite of her burrito. “I’d like to hear about your kids. If you don’t mind.”
“Well, now,” Helen said, cutting into her enchilada. “Ashley is a dance teacher. She lives in Austin. Kevin is in school for computer science. He goes to UC Santa Barbara. And Zach is in high school.”
“You got to keep him.” Annie smiled. “That’s wonderful.”
“We had a party when I adopted him officially. He’s a great kid. Smart, sensitive. I’m really proud of him.”
“You should be.”
“And your family? All good?” Helen asked.
“Sure. Well, Ken and Patty are Ken and Patty. They’re always trying to get me to move closer to them, but it never feels quiteright. I mean, I don’t have a place to live yet, everyone at work hates me, and I don’t know anyone in this city besides you and Mason Worth, but I already feel like it’s home. Or it’s going to be. Do you think that’s strange?”
“No, not so very strange,” Helen said. “It’s a city of transplants. People come here for all sorts of reasons.”
Annie took a bite of her food and chewed thoughtfully, considering whether or not to ask her next question. She had been surprised when Helen showed up at the bar, when she agreed to come to dinner, when she listened to Annie’s explanation, and now she was about to blow it all on a question she had to ask. She looked at Helen’s hands, her bare ring finger, and said, “You never remarried?”
Helen sipped her water and looked down at her plate, not answering for so long that had Annie any cash, she might have dropped it on the table and walked out.
“After Bruce, I was soured on marriage. And I never…wanted anyone else after you left.”
“Helen…”
“I tried. Went on some dates, even slept with a few people, but it was just easier on my own with the kids. After all, people leave.”
Annie looked down.
“You know,” Helen said, putting her fork down and leaning in. A paper lantern hanging above the table reflected on her hair. “You’re the age now that I was when we met.”
Annie had thought about that too. Helen had seemed so grown-up back then. She owned a house and was married long enough to have children. But Annie didn’t feel all that different than she had at twenty-seven. She was more prepared to face whatever challenges might appear, surely, but she didn’t feel older. She justwasolder. Helen must have felt so scared whenAnnie had swooped into her life like a breath of fresh air, then disappeared just as quickly, taking the air right out with her.
There was nothing Annie could add to what she had already told Helen, so she simply nodded and said, “I know.”
* * *
They walked back to the hotel together. When they reached the lot where Helen was parked, they stopped.
“Well,” Annie said, “what do you think?”
“About what?”
“About us being friends. You think we could give it another try?” She held her breath. Hope was burning a hole in her sternum, shining so brightly that surely people on the top floor of the hotel could see it streaking up into the sky.
Helen nodded. “Let’s see how it goes.”
“Okay.” Annie exhaled. “Good.”
“See you later, Chief Weaver,” Helen said and turned toward the parking lot.
It felt wrong to watch Helen walking away. Annie desperately wanted to keep talking, to hold onto the progress they’d made today. And because some things never change, she knew she wanted too much. Wanted more of Helen than she deserved.
“Helen?”
Helen turned back to her, waiting to hear what Annie had to say. She shifted her purse on her shoulder.
“Friends is good,” Annie said. “Friends is great, even. I like friends. But if you want to come upstairs”—she nodded toward the lobby doors—“that’s an option too.” Her heart was pounding so hard she was dizzy. Depending on what Helen decided, she would either fall to the sidewalk or float into the sky.
Helen studied Annie for several long seconds, then stepped toward her.
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