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Chapter Twelve

My voice got stuck in my throat. Maybe I was asking too much of these mates. To win me over in such a short amount of time. We’d had fun at the pond. I’d enjoyed his haka dance, but this morning…maybe that’s where it all fell apart. He was so eager to tell me about the tracks, but not the moment they found out. I’d expected more from him. I’d expected him to be a partner like he’d been out at the pond. I wanted him to be able to tell me everything, comfort me with his smile, and face danger with me.

All of that was gone as of this morning.

“I’m sorry, Kai…”

I could barely get the words out. This one hurt. With him, I kind of always thought I’d say yes. My decision surprised me, but again, I knew it was right.

His shoulders deflated. “You are refusing me?”

His face drooped, and my heart reached out to comfort him, but I couldn’t be anything more to him. It just wasn’t in our future. “Yes. I’m sorry.”

His jaw ticked, and he stood slowly. “Maybe we should make travel arrangements for my mother and myself then. I don’t know if I can stay…”

My stomach gutted. “If that’s what you wish.”

He rubbed his forehead and then shook his head. After a while, he finally spoke. “No, I can’t behave like that. Even though I didn’t get my wish, I still can’t leave you all in the state you have here. What kind of warrior would I be if I left you with an unknown enemy knocking on your doorstep?”

“We don’t know that,” I said. We knew next to nothing about the tracks including what they belonged to. “If you don’t wish to be here, I won’t keep you. Like my mother said, it’s entirely up to you. And your mother, of course.”

“No, I’ll stay. I’ll still talk to King Christian about seeing my mother home, but I will remain. I can’t in good conscience leave Ravana Clan like this. I knew when offering myself to you I was taking a chance. Though you don’t return my feelings that doesn’t mean I don’t care. My feelings won’t fall away immediately—if ever.”

His words cut deep. I hadn’t imagined what this might do to the mates who wanted me but not the other way around. In my head, we would both like one another or not like one another. This wasn’t the case here. “I do like you, Kai. I think you’re a great person. Your smile is infectious. Your dance, your training, everything. It’s just…”

I was at a loss for words, but thankfully Kai wasn’t. “I understand, Princess. You cannot make your heart do something it doesn’t want to do.” He smiled for me and looked a little more like the Kai I was used to seeing. “Just know I’m still here for you and I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for. There seems to be something else brewing behind your eyes. If it’s not me you trust, I hope you use the others to help you and your clan. We, as a species, need to stick together. I realize that more now from being on the mainland. There’s a bigger world than my island. I should thank you for that realization. My clan became bitter after the blood shortage hit us hard, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t help out more. If something is going to happen, all of us need to unite. I won’t let my broken heart get in the way.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, his lips lingering there. “Please excuse me.”

With that, he turned away and walked off. When he opened the door, a triangle of light shone through on the floor.

I leaned back against the wall and let out a breath. It took me a moment to realize that the thoughts going through my head weren’t second-guesses, just a deep regret that I didn’t like him the same way he liked me.

But that was okay.

I trusted my heart in this explicitly.