Page 74 of Throwing Fire

Love can die. Or so I’ve heard. It’s always been the other way around for me. “Why, kitten?”

She rubs her cheek against my shoulder, and I give her a squeeze. “This is going to sound really shallow.” She sighs. “He didn’t care if it was good for me. I know that’s stupid. If I’d really loved him, it wouldn’t matter, right? There’s more to being with someone than sex. I know that.”

There is more. But sex is important. And letting the woman you love know that her pleasure’s just as important as yours, that’s the most important. “It matters, kitten. It absolutely matters.”

“I guess... I just knew I didn’t really want to be with him anymore.” She chuckles into my skin. “That was the best year I ever had as a runner. It’s why my business grew so big, and I had to take on Dunk. I was running twelve, fourteen hours a day. Taking anything that came along. Even the really crazy runs to Kuus and Shyl. All because I didn’t want to come home.”

That explains how Chain managed to jump into Nev’s bed while they were both living under Kez’s roof. I’ll admit that puzzled me. But if Kez was avoiding him, then I can see how it might have happened.

Kez sets down her tea and turns into me so she can nuzzle her face into my neck. “Hale, what are you going to do to him?”

I put my own cup on the counter and tuck her against me. Rest my chin on the top of her head. “Think you already know the answer to that question.”

She nods, bumping my chin. “Please?—”

“Don’t ask me not to kill him, Kez. He gave you up. Told them where you were gonna be and when. If I hadn’t killed them first... we wouldn’t be havin’ this conversation.”

“I know. You’re right,” she says, her words barely more than a cool ruffleacross my skin.

I wait, to see if she’ll say any more. When she doesn’t, I kiss the top of her head. “Sorry, kitten.” And I am. I’m sorry her family’s betrayed her. Sorry I’m the one who had to tell her. Sorry I’m going to have to kill for her. Again. But the alternative isn’t an alternative. As much as it hurts her to hear it, know it, the fact she doesn’t argue with me tells me she’s accepted what I have to do to keep her safe.

CHAPTER 28

Doc Gray’s one of the most modified people I’ve seen, aside from the Kuus rat-men.

Where the rats are tribal and their modifications have a kind of uniformity, Doc Gray’s modifications are unique. He doesn’t look quite like a fish. Or quite like a frog. Or anything else I can name. But he’s a lot closer to some kinda amphibian than he is to a mammal.

He signals his arrival by the high-tech method of throwing pebbles at my window. I walk out onto my deck and peer over the rail. His hairless, crested head bobs in the water two meters from the shock barrier.

“I assume you’re aware of the unfortunate gentleman over there,” he says, nodding at the corpse.

“Yeah.”

“Very well.”

I turn off the shock net so he can climb over it and up onto my deck. Hand him a towel. His body is lightly covered with transparent scales, and he’s wearing a silver-green neopoly dry suit from waist to knees, so he probably doesn’t need the towel. But it seems polite.

He uses the towel, whether he needs it or not. Folds it neatly before handing it back to me. Holds out his hand and shakes mine. “A pleasure, Mister Snow. You’re looking substantially better than the last time I saw you.”

“Gather I was missin’ some skin.”

“And some bones. Would you mind taking a few steps for me?”

I do, walking a couple of steps across the deck away from him and then back.

“Excellent,” the doc says. “Shall we?”

He’s been in my place several times now, so he probably doesn’t need me to lead him in, but it seems polite, and Doc Gray is nothing if not polite. So much so, I’m having a hard time picturing him shouting at that Tyngaling doc. Wish I’d been awake.

Inside, I offer him a drink, brew up a fresh pot of klee tea when he accepts. That’s the first food or drink Doc Gray has accepted from me, and I wonder if that’s because he’s becoming comfortable with me, or just ‘cause he’s thirsty. It is a long swim from the Clouds.

We stand around my kitchen, drinking our tea, making small talk. Feels comfortable, despite the fact that he’s such a heavy Mod he doesn’t even look human anymore. He knows more about who I really am than anyone but Kez, and he’s seen both of us naked more often than he’s seen us clothed.

When we’ve all finished our tea, Kez leads the way into my workroom. I clear away the flimsy I was using to sketch the brand, and Kez spreads a clean thermoblanket over my workbench.

“Which one of us you want to see first?” I ask.

Doc Gray tilts his head. Blinks his translucent eyelids over his fish-goggle eyes. “Ladies first, of course. But first, if I may, I would very much like to see that.” He points to the flimsy.