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I tapped her shoulder to get her attention, and sad green eyes looked up at me. I did my best to sign to her, telling her that she can go into as much detail as she needed or give me nothing for now and that I would help her shower or anything else she needed. I would sit here with my back turned if she simply needed someone to be present and reassure her that she was safe.

“I think I got the gist of that. Have you been practicing?” She wiped away her tears.

I shook my head no and signed gibberish, saying that I needed to starting now.

“I can use that kind of distraction. Will you stay in here while I shower? Then can we burn this dress?” A sad smile formed on her lips, but I nodded with a smile of my own.

We would torch that vile thing.

This time, the shower only lasted about ten minutes, and once she had dried off, I handed over the clothes I had picked out. She put them all on and sighed with relief at the warmth and comfort they gave. The only thing extra she requested was socks and slippers. Apparently, they weren’t given shoes or foot coverings of any kind. We got that handled, then texted Odie and Cy about the plans we had for the dress.

In no time at all, we were outside in the field next to the helipad, burning the dress with hot chocolate in hand.

Ellie’s face was blank, frozen in the dark night. Cy, Odie, Gerard, and for some reason, Alastor were also here, showing their support from afar. They didn’t say a word and tried to morph their expressions into something other than pity. It only worked half the time, if that.

I stood next to Ellie, allowing physical space to remain between us, as the silence went on and the fire blazed. It was far bigger than necessary, but Cy refused to listen. She claimed that dramatics helped sometimes. I didn’t disagree, but the whole pit was about five feet in diameter. Ellie didn’t seem to mind, so I didn’t press it.

“No one call me Ellery ever again.” Ellie’s voice was strong as she spoke over the fire, and everyone turned to look at her.

The only person here who called her that was Gerard, so our heads swiveled to him for a response.

He cleared his throat before giving a nod. “Never again.”

No one needed clarification. Our imaginations worked perfectly fine in connecting the pieces. Her full name was tainted and, just like her dress, was now ash in the wind.

It was close to midnight, but no one seemed to mind the late hour. It was chilly outside, but we had bundled up, and the hot chocolate was doing wonders to keep me warm.

Ellie turned her face to the sky, staring up at the moon. “I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe one day, but—” Her voice broke, but she fought through. “It’s shit.” That felt like an understatement. “I doubt shit covers it, Ellie.” Cy crossed her arms as she stood next to Odie.

Ellie shrugged. “Yeah, I know, but that’s all I got. It was shit. Now I’m here, and it’s still shit, just less shit. Eventually, I will deal with the shit but not right now. Right now, I want to eat, watch terrible movies, and hopefully sleep.”

“That’s doable,” Odie said.

No one said anything about her cussing, despite it being an ongoing joke in the cabin. She could be calling everyone cunts and telling us to fuck off, and no one would bat an eye. I was surprised she wasn’t, but shock still had a hold of her. The next few days were going to be a roller coaster, and some parts of her would never truly heal. The memories would always remain no matter what she did.

Eventually, we all went inside, and Ellie joined me in my room.

“Is it weird?”

I cocked my head, wondering what she was talking about.

“That I don’t want to be in my room.”

Why would it? My signing was still somewhat jumbled, but she was good at guessing, so it worked for now.

“I don’t know. I don’t feel like that Ellie. I’m not fucking Ellery,” she said, sneering her name, “but I’m not that Ellie either. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

She sat on the edge of the bed while I flipped through movies, standing in the middle of the room. I stopped and turned to her, not knowing how to say all of this.

You are whoever you are. We change constantly, good and bad.

“Is that how you feel?” Her eyes bore into me, and I pursed my lips. Had Vaila told her what she had done? “Lucinda is a blabber mouth. I know Vaila gave you heat inducers.”

I sighed and gave a half-assed nod and shrug. It wasn’t exactly how I felt about my position, but it was a fact no matter what position you were in. We were constantly evolving as people. Every new event, every second we lived, changed us into someone new.

“I hope they didn’t hurt you too much. I noticed that you don’t touch them or really stand by them at all now.” She picked at some lint on her robe, avoiding eye contact.

I snapped my fingers to get her attention. Despite our time together, it was easy for people to forget that they had to be looking at me for me to speak. Her head snapped up.