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He glances up and gives a brief shake of his head. “No.”
Relieved, I press the call button, my heart racing as soon as Camille picks up. I drop my voice low, and the words spill out in French, as if confessing something I can barely admit to myself.
Me: He’s so… attractive, and I can’t help it. It’s insane, Camille.
Camille: You’re talking about Zack, Brett’s brother? But I thought you were crazy about Brett!
Me: I thought so too, but with Zack, it’s… different. I can’t stop thinking about him, and not in the same way I thought about Brett. This is just physical attraction, I think, and it’s his fault. He was the one who kissed me instead of Brett.
Camille: So, what is it? What are you imagining?
I hesitate, glancing over at Zack. His focus on the tablet is unwavering, completely unaware of what I’m about to confess. I bite my lip, a reckless thrill pulsing through me.
Me: I dream of him almost every night… I wake up in a sweat. Every detail of our kiss in the conservatory… it was… God, Camille, it was incredible. And he didn’t even really touch me like that.
Camille: Wait, wait… tell me in detail. What happened in that kiss to drive you this crazy? You mentioned it, but it’s been days now and you’re still talking about it.
My cheeks flush just remembering it. I lower my voice further, almost as if whispering it makes it more real.
Me: He looked at me like… like I was the only thing that mattered. Then he leaned in, and I felt his arms around me… And when his lips touched mine, it was like… God, I could have given him everything right there.
Camille: And since that kiss, it’s all you think about?
Me: Yes… and more. I wonder what he’d do if he really touched me, if he decided to take control.
I pause, glancing at him again, feeling that reckless need building.
Me: I think about him when I go to bed, Camille… if I could… I’d let him do whatever he wants to me, here in Rome. Just to feel him.
Camille: Oh my god, you’re completely screwed. And I love it.
I laugh under my breath, feeling bolder with every word.
Me: You know, he’s so strong. I saw him working out a few days ago and I couldn’t look away… his shirt was soaked with sweat, and he kept going without even catching his breath.
Camille: So? Tell me, what were you thinking while spying on him like a little pervert?
I close my eyes, remembering that exact moment, the way he’d looked when he took a breath, muscles taut, sweat glistening on his skin.
Me:I thought he could lift me with one finger… that if he really wanted me, I wouldn’t stand a chance resisting.
Camille: That’s exactly what you want, isn’t it? To have no choice. Just you, at his mercy.
Me: Yes, and that every move he makes, I feel it everywhere… like every fiber of my body is under his control.
Camille: And you wake up thinking about all that… sweating and ready to scream his name?
My pulse races, and I laugh softly.
Me: Fuck, yes.
Camille: Then what are you waiting for, darling? This trip to Rome is your chance.
Me: Oh, no, I love Brett. Zack is just a fantasy, Camille.
Camille: So you say?—
Me: Yes, he’s… strong, and… darker, but Brett, he’s like… a ray of sunshine. Zack, he stirs things in me, but it’s nothing real. Plus, you know I’m still a virgin… I’m not about to mess that up like this. I have a career to focus on, and Zack’s still an ass, even if…