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It bothers me that Rachel thinks I’m not happy. I am as happy as a man in my circumstances can be. After losing my wife, I accepted the fact that I would never be truly happy again. I had Lilly, and that was all the happiness I needed.
As I’m tucking Lilly in on Friday night, she gives me the smile she always gives me when she wants something.
“What’s on your mind, bug?” I tuck her favorite bear in next to her.
“Is tomorrow Saturday?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Our adventure day.”
“Yes. What would you like to do?”
“Can we go to the cabin?”
The cabin is more of a shack. It is on the far side of the property and is a fairly long hike.
“Are you sure you want to go that far? It’s a long walk.”
She nods. “Yeah. I want to go to the cabin. I want to show it to Rachel.”
I try not to react negatively. I don’t want to get her upset before bed.
“I know you like Rachel, but you spent all week with her. Don’t you want a day with just me?”
She thinks about the question, then looks at me. I assume she is deciding whether she wants to hurt my feelings or not.
She hugs the stuffed bear. “It’s okay, Daddy. You’re fun, too.”
No one ever showed me the passage in the parent handbook that says you’re going to spend a fair amount of time feeling guilty. I sigh. “If you really want her to come, I’ll ask her.”
She sits up and hugs me. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. She might have other plans.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. But I’m sure she has things to do on her weekends.”
“But you’ll ask her?”
“Yes, I’ll ask her.” I lay her back down. “Now, time for sleep. We have a big adventure tomorrow.”
“I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too.”
I leave her room and think about bringing Rachel to the cabin tomorrow. It isn’t a horrible idea, but she is probably busy. I decide to go ask her now before it gets too late.
When I get within two feet of her door, it bursts open, and a cloud of smoke comes out, followed by Rachel. She stops short when she sees me.
I look past her at the doorway. “Is the house on fire?”
“No. It’s just the woodstove.”
I walk past her and into the smoke-filled room to the woodstove and open the damper all the way. She followed me in and when I head for the door, I take her arm and bring her outside with me.
“You didn’t open the damper.”