Page 42 of The Way Back Home

“Because I don’t deserve to be loved, Liv.”

He’s so wrong about that.So wrong. I can’t make him kiss me, but I can kiss him.

I reach up and smash my lips against his, nipping at him, kissing him hard until he opens his mouth and lets me inside. One hand tightens on my waist, and the other cups my cheek. He opens to me and kisses me back so ferociously that I don’t doubt the truth of his promises to rock my world. His tongue caresses mine, and I moan. His hands are desperate on my flesh, tugging me closer, as they cover every inch of my skin beneath his palm. I whimper, guiding his hand to my breast and the La Perla bra.

“No!” August pulls away as if my touch burned him.

“Why?”

“I can’t,” he says, kissing my temple. “I can’t do this.”

“I know you want me, August. I can see it on your face; I can feel it,” I say tilting my head toward the bulge in his pants. God, it’s as if we’re moving in circles, endlessly chasing our tails. “Why won’t you—”

“Because I don’t deserve you, Liv.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve done things that would horrify you,” he whispers into my hair, as he cups my face. “And I won’t let you give yourself over to a monster.”

“August—”

“I lost my leg, my dog, my parents . . .” he laughs, but there’s no humor in the sound. “But I deserved to lose so much more than that.”

He backs up a step, and I realize this is the first time he’s ever discussed his leg with me. The psychologist in me understands he’s made a huge breakthrough here tonight, but the woman in me despairs. Because she’s heartbroken. I have feelings for August beyond wanting to junk-punch him for being an asshole, and he might even feel the same about me, but he won’t let himself give in because he believes he isn’t worthy of anyone. What a lonely and tragic existence. To always be fighting a war in your head. To never know the touch of another human being because you went to battle for your country and became something, someone, you don’t like.

I reach up and touch his cheek. “August, please?”

He doesn’t say another word, just removes my hand from his face and walks out, slamming the door between us. I sink to the floor, close my eyes and bite my lip to keep from crying. I am a mess of a woman right now, and no matter how I try, I always seem to wind up curled into a fetal position when he leaves. I’m in way over my head with this man. It’s as if we got on a rollercoaster the day I arrived on his doorstep, and try as I might, I can’t make it stop. I have no idea how to get off.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Olivia

IN THE MORNING, I’Mup early to avoid a run in with August, and he doesn’t come to the shelter to help. I can’t say I blame him. After last night, I’m glad for the reprieve, until the boys show up. Sheriff Webb drops them off with nothing more than a thinly veiled threat of whooping their asses if they don’t stay and do everything they're told.

The problem is, everything they’re told to do they make a mockery of, and it’s just easier to let them goof off than to have to endure the vitriol slung my way. I work hard and as quickly as I can, but I’m doing it all on my own. When I’m carting out a load of trash to the dumpster, I stop and find the man who’s plagued my thoughts all night and a good part of the day standing before me at his truck.