Page 21

Twenty-nine days.

A tremor coursed through me as I fought back the rising tide of panic and anger—

Movement by my hip jarred me from the rapidly spiraling thoughts. A large, furry head rose against the moonlight. The wolven yawned as he stretched long, powerful front legs.

Kieran had made it a habit of sleeping near me in his wolven form, which was why he got very little sleep. I’d told him more than once that it wasn’t necessary, but the last time I’d brought it up, he’d said, “This is where I choose to be.”

And well, that…that nearly made me cry. He chose to be beside me because he was my friend. Not because of some obligation. I wouldn’t make the same mistake I had with Tawny, constantly doubting the genuineness of our relationship because of how we had been introduced.

I also thought he chose to be here, needing the closeness, because he too was hurting. Kieran had known him his entire life. Their friendship went beyond the bond they’d once shared. There was love between them. And while I kept my senses to myself when there was no need for me to read another’s emotions, Kieran sat in silence at times, the sadness swelling out from him and breaking through my shields.

That sorrow also stemmed from the loss of Lyra. He’d been more than just fond of the wolven, even if they hadn’t been in a serious relationship. He’d cared for her, and now she was gone—just like the wolven Elashya, the one he had loved and lost to a rare wasting disease.

Kieran’s head turned toward me, and he blinked sleepy, winter-blue eyes.

“Sorry,” I whispered.

I felt a touch against my mind like a light brush of skin against skin. His imprint reminded me of cedar, rich and woodsy. You should be asleep, he said, his words a whisper among my thoughts.

“I know,” I replied, rolling onto my side so I faced him.

He lowered his head to the bed. Another nightmare?

I nodded.

There was a pause, and then he said, You know, there are herbs that can help you rest. Help you find the kind of sleep where these nightmares can’t reach you.

“No, thank you.” I’d never liked the idea of taking anything that knocked me out, potentially leaving me vulnerable. Plus, I was already taking an herb similar to what he had taken for contraception. I’d figured it was wise to see if something was readily available since he wouldn’t be able to take anything. Luckily, Vonetta had known just the thing—an herb similar to the one Casteel took, which was ground into a powder and could be mixed with any drink. It tasted like dirt but stomaching that was far better than the potential of carrying a child.

That was the last thing any of us needed.

Though I suddenly imagined Kieran knitting little sweaters and grinned.

What are you thinking about? His curiosity was fresh and lemony.

There was no way I was sharing that. “Nothing.”

He eyed me as if he didn’t believe me. You need to rest, Poppy. God or not, you’re going to wear yourself out.

I bit back a sigh as I tugged the soft blanket to my chin, rubbing it. “Do you think this blanket is made of wolven fur?”

Kieran’s ears flattened. That was a poor attempt at changing the subject.

“I think it was a valid question,” I parroted his earlier words.

You think every question is a valid one. He made a very mortal-sounding huff.

“They’re not?” Flipping onto my back, I stopped rubbing my chin and let go of the blanket.

Kieran nudged my hand. It was his way of letting me know it was okay to touch him in this form—a way the wolven silently communicated need for affection. I reached down, and like always, it never ceased to amaze me how soft a wolven’s fur was. I ran my fingers through the fluff between his ears, thinking Kieran probably believed he enjoyed the touch more than I did. But touch…touch was such a gift. One so very often overlooked and underappreciated.

Several long moments of silence passed. “Do you…do you dream of him?”

I don’t. Kieran lowered his head to my hip. His eyes closed. And I don’t know if that’s a blessing or not.

I hadn’t been able to fall back asleep like Kieran had, but I waited until the faint traces of light crept through the window and across the ceiling to leave the bed. Kieran always slept the deepest as the sun rose. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew that my absence wouldn’t stir him for at least an hour or two.

Padding quietly across the stone floor, I secured the wolven dagger to my thigh and then picked up the ruffled, blue dress robe Kieran had found in one of the other chambers. I slipped it on over the slip and tights I’d slept in. It smelled of mothballs, but it was clean and luxuriously soft, made of some sort of cashmere. Tying the sash at my waist, I left the chamber without bothering with shoes. The thick socks were more than enough since I didn’t plan to leave the manor this early.