Page 8

I sat forward, setting my drink on the table before I spilled it. I adjusted myself on the couch, turning this way and that before hopping to my feet.

James’s hand shot out to stop me. “Ryder. Please.”

“I’m not running.” I wasn’t sure which of us I was trying to convince, but he relaxed. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze, taking a step back. “I made you a promise, so this is me trying, but I need tomove.”

James pushed his hands through his hair as I began to pace in front of him.

“You’re over three hundred years old,” I said plainly. “Why now? And… what about Liz?”

He nodded, as though he’d been expecting this line of questioning. “I was heartbroken to realize she wasn’t my mate. After a century or two, I resigned myself to the fact that I didn’t have one.”

“I thought you were head over heels for each other.”

“We were.” James’s fond smile was so wholesome, it made the corners of my own mouth tease upward briefly—but the nerves prevailed, and it faded as quickly as it came. “Being in love and being mates are two different things completely,” he continued. “Believe it or not, there are many fated beings who can’t stand the sight of each other. When I realized Liz and I weren’t brought together by destiny, I decided it didn’t matter.”

“So you stopped looking for it.”

“I don’t even know when the mark showed up. It could have been there for years before I noticed it.”

“So you don’t know when it showed up?”

He hesitated, then spread his hands. “I’m guessing it appeared the day you were born. These last few decades, I’ve started to feel a… pull, I suppose you could call it. This sort of itch that I was missing something.”

I stared at him. “That sounds maddening.”

“Fate’s a bitch.”

I was avoiding his gaze, but I could feel James’s eyes on me with each step I took. All he wanted was for me to sit next to him, but I couldn’t. “Did you always know it was me?”

“Not until I laid eyes on you for the first time.”

“When I showed up at Liz’s for my interview.”

His mouth curled into a genuine smile. “It was like something finally clicked into place, like inserting the last piece of a puzzle.”

Looking back on it then, he was right. When I’d stepped into Liz’s that day, James caught my attention right away. I’d always fallenoutwith people just as quickly as I’d fallenforthem. But James was the first one I ever wanted to keep. I’d locked onto every detail of him, committed it to memory.

“You felt it too.”

I nodded in confirmation. “I thought it was just because I found you attractive. Did you ever plan on telling me?”

“Of course I did. I thought about it the night you…” He eyed Hannah’s bedroom door, where our guests were sleeping. “The night you found out about me, but I didn’t think it was the right time. Then the hunters showed up and plans got derailed. I never expected Luke to pick up on it.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me the first time I asked?”

“You weren’t ready. You needed time after the fire to process everything. You said so yourself.”

“Don’t throw my own words back at me.” I was getting defensive now. I spent the better part of a year trying to prove to Erin that they didn’t know me as well as she thought she did. I was an adult, damn it. I was more than capable of making decisions for myself.

“That’s not what I’m doing and you know it.” James pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a few seconds to collect his thoughts before he spoke again. “I know this isn’t easy for you to hear, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help you through it.”

I’d promised him I’d try, and I hoped he saw how hard I truly was. Iclosed my eyes, focusing on my breathing and replaying my own words in my head. But the fear was winning out. “I need to be alone.”

Opening my eyes, I stared at a darkened spot on the carpet. Anything to keep from seeing the hurt in his eyes.

“Ryder, you?—”

“I’m not running,” I repeated—and I meant it, “but I need some space. You can’t expect me to just accept all of this and move on.”