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But his eyes slid to Seeyr who remained still and serene even with this violence. She had foreseen everything that had happened. She had admitted though that there were bad things thathadto happen for there to be the future that Daemon would want and love.

But there can be no future like that without Christian and Julian!

“It can’t be!” Balthazar continued, his voice almost a child’s cry. “Not after everything! After waiting and--no! I just got Christian! Daemon waited millennia for Julian! They can’t be just taken away!”

It felt like he was bleeding out as he said these words. Fiona clutched the front of her shirt and looked like she might weep. Sophia’s head hung like an overly large bloom on a too thin stalk. Meffy was awake as well, looking at him with questioning eyes that blinked sleepily. Why was he shouting, the cat seemed to ask? Why was he screaming?

Balthazar shook Caemorn again, rattling him. “Why? Why, Caemorn? After everything! Why would you betray us? I thought you cared for the boys! Why?”

“T-t-too c-c-cruel t-t-to m-m-make y-y-you a-a-and D-D-Daemon c-c-choose,” Caemorn got out between clacking teeth. “B-b-better t-t-to b-b-be m-m-me.”

And the whine in Balthazar’s head stopped and he could hear Caemorn’s thoughts as clear as day all of the sudden. Caemornhadn’tgiven the boys the information on how to get to Moonfall to hurt them, but tohelp. To help everyone. He was taking on the guilt for sending beloved Julian and Christian to do this task because he did not want that to lay on Daemon and Balthazar’s shoulders. To make the Masters choose to risk their Children.

Caemorn had done it tosparehim and Daemon that horrible choice. Caemorn would be the villain. Caemorn would be hated. That was a role he was used to playing. That his actions were the very opposite did not matter. He understood Balthazar’s grief and rage. He would accept it. After all he had done, it was the least he could do. He would not be worthy of the new life they were offering him, if he did anything less.

“Damn you… Caemorn… I could have--havekilledyou… I could have…” Balthazar shook his head. “You’re not the villain. You’re one of us now. You can’t just…”

He brought Caemorn down to the ground. His hands loosened around Caemorn’s throat. Balthazar wobbled with exhaustion and fear and emotional turmoil. He swayed forward and Caemorn caught him.

As in all things where Caemorn had to deal with other people, he was awkward and stiff. But Balthazar had just been choking him, so there was that. Yet Caemorn got him into a chair that Fiona had pulled out. Balthazar sank down into it and put his face in his hands and rocked. Caemorn touched his shoulder and immediately withdrew his hand after the pat. Fiona dropped down onto her haunches and rubbed his arms as if trying to get warmth into them. She didn’t have a fledgling yet, but shehurtfor him. She loved the boys too.

“Just what?” Caemorn’s voice was gravelly.

“Just?” Balthazar’s voice trembled.

“You said I cannot just… what? What can I not do?” Caemorn asked as if it desperately mattered.

“You can’t just leave us. I should have trusted you. I should have… I will from now on,” Balthazar told him. Guilt pricked him again. He had proved Caemorn’s own low beliefs in regards to being on the outside. He had so quickly tossed the other Vampire away. He hung his head. “I’m so sorry. I owe you that, at least.”

“You can see into people’s minds. If I had that gift I would trust no one, too,” Caemorn stated as he cleared his throat several times.

“I couldn’t hear your thoughts. Not until the end there.” Balthazar gritted his teeth. He had been out of control. He wasn’t healed from facing Artemis-Kaly. He had insisted he was fine, but he was not. And he’d attacked Caemorn.“I couldn’t think. My head… I need the boys back. I need the boys. Fiona, can you take us to the gate--”

“They have to go alone, Balthazar,” Sophia interrupted. “Seeyr explained that. It still holds true. You do not want to undo everything now, do you?”

Balthazar looked into her large silver eyes. She meant every word she said. For a moment, he saw Christian and Julian’s broken bodies under white stones. He jerked away from her mind as if he had put his hands in flames.

“It’s true, Eyros. They must do this on their own,” Seeyr confirmed with a sigh.

With a voice still hoarse from the choking, Caemorn said, “They will come back. I have no doubt about this.”

“But if they don’t…” Balthazar’s voice was suddenly hoarse too as if he had been strangled or screaming for hours.

“They will. Have faith in them,” Caemorn said. “They are stronger and more capable than we give them credit for.”

Seeyr spoke then. Her voice was soft and still strange with that note of uncertainty yet familiarity. “Youalwayshave been the one to do the hard things, Caemorn. To make the decision that cuts the deepest for what you think must be done. You take on the burden of others.”

“And you have always been the one to tell unwelcome truths. I’ve learned to trust you,” Caemorn responded as he, too, sat down again. “You said they had to go, Seeyr. I knew that, no matter what anyone wanted, that there was no other way.”

Balthazar knew that Caemorn’d had Seeyr prisoner in the Spire for centuries so he shouldn’t have been surprised by Seeyr’s use of the word “always” and yet there was something about it that made it seem like Caemorn had been doing this for far longer.

“What do you need, Balthazar?” Fiona asked. “I know you need Christian and Julian back, but what else do you need? Arcius? Elgar? Wait, I know what you need. Meffy.”

She went over to where the ball of fluff still sat and picked him up. She tickled Meffy under the chin and scratched between his ears before bringing him back to Balthazar. He felt a little foolish as he clutched the kitten who gave out a piteous meow.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to squeeze you so hard,” Balthazar murmured into the soft fur.

Touching the animal calmed him. The aching in his head eased. He closed his eyes for a moment as he listened to Meffy purr. How could he take such comfort in a cat when Christian and Julian were missing? Yet, the little animal focused him. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, feeling more himself again.