Page 75
Story: The Unwanted Duchess
“Like what?”
“Likethis,” she gestured, standing up. “You are speaking to me as if I am a girl and not a lady. You have never been like this with me before.”
“You have never disrespected me like this before. What do you expect me to do? This was my mother’s room, and through your selfishness, it is as though she were never here at all.”
“Why did you tell me that I could change it if you did not want me to?”
“Because I never thought for one second that you would do this much to it. I told you how important this room was to me. I thought you understood, but I suppose I am the fool for thinking that you would understand.”
“I understood you perfectly well which is precisely why I wanted to change it.”
“Change what?” he asked, raising his hand. “That?”
But as he raised his hand, Samantha froze. He was towering over her, his hand raised above her, and she waited for it to come back down. She shrank away from him, running out of the room before he could grab her.
He did not follow her.
Samantha ran around the corner, and once she felt that she was far enough away, she leaned against the wall and tried to steadyher breathing. She had not felt fear like that in a while, and she had not missed it at all. She had truly thought that that sort of feeling would not come to her anymore, but she had been wrong.
She was frightened, of course, but more than anything, she felt like a fool.
Soon enough, she heard him leave the drawing room and storm out of the house. She could feel her heart continuing to pound in her chest, and she did not know how to make it stop. She ran to her room, locking the door behind her, and she threw herself onto the bed.
But she did not cry. She hardly cried, and even though she was so sure that an argument with the man she cared so deeply for would be enough for it to happen, it did not. She was more shocked than upset, she realized, and so she simply laid there, trying to bring her breathing back to normal.
Even as she fell asleep, she could feel that it had not worked.
She awoke with a start from a nightmare. She had not suffered one in a long time, and she knew it was no coincidence that she had had one that night. She did not leave her bedchambers, instead pacing the floor and trying to make sense of everything. Had he truly been hiding his true self all that time?
Graham was not a perfect man, but he was kind to her. If nothing else, he had done right by her when necessary, even when unnecessary at times. He had been a good man to her, and shehad thought during their courtship that, if nothing else, they had formed a bond, even a friendship.
It was more than that, however. Samantha thought that, after everything she had been through, she knew how to guess at people’s intentions. She thought that she would be able to notice the signs, but she was wrong. She should have noticed when they first met that he did not like her, and she had always had that feeling, but she continued to speak with him regardless. She should have forced herself to be ruined, the way she wanted to.
But she had not, and now, she was married to a man that she could no longer trust.
“Your Grace?” a small voice came from behind the door, “will you come to breakfast this morning?”
Samantha took a breath. She was not going to go to breakfast, but she did not need to punish her servant by speaking in a horrible manner to her.
“I am unwell, unfortunately,” she replied, “but thank you for thinking of me.”
She hoped that there would be no further questions as to her health, for she was not a skilled liar. It was most unlikely that she would be able to feign an illness. Fortunately, she had been keeping some books in her room, so she would not be without her entertainment for the day.
When evening came and nobody had come to see her a second time, she did not know how to feel. She was grateful for them not intruding, but she also wondered if it was simply because they did not care. She tried not to see it that way because she knew it was simply that they wanted to give her some time, and her argument with the Duke was likely heard by them, but it did not make her feel any less hurt.
Once more, she felt completely and utterly punished simply for trying to do the right thing. Samantha tried to imagine what Diana would say, but she couldn’t think of anything. After all, she had not told even her sister what had happened to her in the months after Diana had left the household, and she did not plan to. It was too dark, too shameful, and she could not bring herself to do it.
Nor could she allow Diana to feel as though it had been her fault.
Yet, she did want to see her sister. She did not know how to explain what had happened, but she longed to escape her household and be in one that was full of love. It was the only one like it that she knew of.
And so she went.
Diana was, of course, most surprised to see her. This was precisely what Samantha had been expecting; she was supposed to be in marital bliss thanks to the gift she had given her husband, after all, but after one look at each other, Diana ushered her in.
“You missed dinner, I’m afraid,” Diana explained, “but I can have Cook prepare a tea for you.”
“That would be wonderful. I have not eaten today.”
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