Page 48

“You are really fucking dumb.” Ezra smacks my shoulder.

Bailey growls, “He is NOT. Ernie is amazing. And selfless. And giving. And he penises exceptionally well.” I feel my entire body heat from her praise.

Zilv smacks his hand off the coffee table. “Yes, yes, we are a family of exceptional penises...penisers?”

I stand up on shaky legs, that weed is potent, and grab Bailey’s hand. Dragging her behind me, I move us toward the hallway to leave the entertainment room. “Uh, Ernie? Where are we going?”

“To get married. Right now.”

“Well,” She tugs on my hand and pulls me to an abrupt stop. “it’s like 10 o’clock at night and also, you pissed your pants again.” I glance down and find the front of my pants wet.

“Yes, it appears I have.” I resume pulling her, “Change of plans, we’ll go home, I’ll shower, fuck you with my exceptional penis until we fall asleep, then we’ll go to the courthouse tomorrow and you’re gonna marry me. Someone call my brother and sister and tell them to get here right away.”

Bailey giggles girlishly as we make our way through the family compound. “I love it when you take charge.” She clears her throat a moment later, “But you should probably see the doctor about how often you piss yourself under the influence.”