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But she was right, there weren’t many other choices. We could run, but only so far. Just being here in the moment would have to do. There was probably only so much more time before someone noticed she was gone. Misha kept them so busy, and for someone spread pretty thin, she kept a great eye on whatwas going on when it came to the wedding. I was just glad that planning wasn’t my responsibility anymore. But we were still here, and there weren’t very many moments Zuri and I werethisalone, so I took advantage.

“Did you have dreams of where you wanted to be by now?” I asked.

“Like at this age?”

“Yeah.”

Zuri pulled through the ends of my hair. “If you’re asking whether my dream was to be a handmaiden, it was not.”

“That’s not exactly what I meant,” I said.

“I know.” Zuri laughed into my chest. “I don’t know. There was a path set out for me, but I didn’t want it. I never really thought about what Iwanted.I just thought about what I didn’t. Until it was too late.”

“I don’t know what I’d be other than this either,” I admitted.

“What? No other skills outside of stabbing and maiming?” She teased.

“I am rather good at beheading. I think that might fall into the category of maiming, though.”

She bopped me on the nose. “I think it does.”

“I’ve never thought about it either,” I said, and the truth of my existence was painfully clear. What would I be if I wasn’t the creature my mother made me? There was no room for interest or fun.

“You’re a young century and a half; there’s a lot of time to figure it out,” Zuri said as she ran her hand over the grass at our side.

I watched each blade bend and snap back up. “Would you help me?”

Zuri had this effect on me. Where I was vulnerable without even fully meaning to be. Like all of those soft and fragile parts ofme knew they were safe with her. It didn’t make it any less scary as silence stretched between us.

“Figure out who you are?” She glanced at me with a crease between her brows. As if it was something she never thought I’d ask for. Which was likely, asking for help wasn’t my strong suit, but for this, I couldn’t think of anyone better to ask.

“See what makes me happy, outside of you, of course.” I smiled.

Zuri rolled atop my body, tossing a leg over my hips and straddling me. She picked up my hand and rubbed her fingers into my palm. “You could give professional massages.”

I smirked. “Think I’d rather keep those for you.”

She plucked a flower near my head and tucked it into my hair. “You could be a gardener. You love flowers.”

“Maybe.” I picked another one of the flowers and placed it behind her ear.

“You know what I think you’d be exceptionally good at?”

Zuri leaned closer, her chest lined up with mine, and the tips of our noses rubbed. Her fingers ran up my sides, over my arms, and up my neck before she cupped my face. Those dark gray eyes and the impossibly thick and curly lashes had me stunned. With her scent enveloping me and her lips so close, I’d nearly forgotten she’d asked me a question.

“What would I be exceptionally good at?” I breathed out, the movement of my lips grazing hers.

“A handmaiden. You know that’s serious coming from a professional one.”

I laughed and trapped her body against mine as she tried to escape. We both knew I wouldnotmake a good handmaiden. She wiggled, her laughter stretching my smile wider. A cool breeze pushed through the courtyard, and Zuri’s nipples hardened against mine. The laughter tapered off, and Zuri became more intentional with the push of her body againstme. The pressure of her hips and her lips brushing against my cheek had my heart skipping. I had the power to manipulate air, but at that moment, I couldn’t even control enough of it to take a breath.

There weren’t a lot of times I was on this side of intimacy; I typically took what I wanted and left it there, but this felt so much better. There wasn’t a sole blaze burning in my core like usual, ready to be put out. This time a million tiny fires sparked under my skin, burning from my head to my toes and back again. The desire forherwas everywhere, no space in me untouched by it. An insatiable need to bring her as close as possible, to make sure she felt just how much I yearned for her.

That was a feeling I didn’t know what to do with, but it wasn’t something I ever wanted to give up. Her lips finally found mine, and just like the first time, I wanted to commit her taste to memory. To bottle the flavor and do with it as I pleased. Those tiny fires I felt all over swelled into a conflagration, destroying me and making me new again. We’d spent all that time staring at the stars burning in the sky, and one kiss from Zuri had me feeling like I was up in the atmosphere, shining and twinkling.

A kiss. That’s all it was, not even sex, a simple press of her lips to mine, and I came undone. People talked about how when you died, you remembered your favorite memories. This one would be sure to flash across my mind in my last moments. The moonlight bathed Zuri, the glow behind her illuminating her curls. The sheen of her skin made her appear ethereal, like the moon was shining from within her. I’d told her before how connected I felt to the moon. That I always felt like I’d been there, that I’d run through her craters and danced in her glow. Like the moon was just another ethereal being, and that she watched over me, and I her. As if an invisible string connected us forever. Right now, at this moment, I feel that for Zuri. It was overwhelming but beautiful. My mind had a hard timedetermining if this was a good thing. The analytical part of me yelled that this would end badly. That letting someone close would end in pain … like the last time. It was hard not to listen. But the parts of me that knew I wanted her—needed her. The warm feelings and the overall positivity she brought snuffed out that noise. She tilted her head, her gaze bouncing between my eyes and my lips.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She blushed and tried to tuck her head into her shoulder.