Page 31 of The Team

“It is quite the development, yes?” Azrael said. “King was not mincing his words.”

Totoro nodded. “It is a... what do you call it in English? When you born into fire?”

“A baptism of fire,” Jay guessed.

“Yes. Our first assignment. It’s been three days. Old job not like this.”

Jay laughed. “No job is like this one. But we’ll kick butt and next week it will be something different.”

Azrael’s mouth pulled down into a grimace. “I don’t know. I think this one’s different. I mean, who the hell would want to cause so much devastation? Isn’t a terrorist attack a statement of sorts? To harm or disrupt lives on political or religious grounds, to spread awareness. No matter how fucked up. But what purpose does this one serve?”

Jay knew exactly what she was saying, what point she was making, but he had no answer.

He kept thinking about Kowalski and Myles. Two good men. Two of their team.

“Someone with the fix,” Totoro said. “Ask who benefits? The one with the... answer. The fix. Remedy.” He made a frustrated sound. “Jie yào.”

“The antidote,” Jay translated.

“Yes. I try to use only English,” Totoro said. “Antidote. One who gets paid to fix.”

“Hm.” Azrael scowled into the sunrise. “I think you might be right. It’s the only logical answer.”

Jay had to agree. He didn’t like it, but it made sense.

They passed a grocer who was just opening their store, pulling a cart of fruit onto the sidewalk.

“Should we get some fruit and water?” Azrael asked.

“On the way back,” Jay said. They were close enough to the bakery—he could smell pastries and caffeine—and his stomach growled loud enough for them all to hear. “My stomach has spoken.”

Totoro laughed. “Me too, little man. Me too.”

After everyone had demolishedtheir coffees and bags of pastries and packed away the fruit and bottled water for later, they’d showered, freshened up, ready for whatever the day would bring.

They were ready.

Rhett was ready. He was in go-mode and focused.

Jay wanted to take Rhett aside, into the bathroom, even, and just hold him. He took so much strength from Jay’s embrace, Rhett had sworn once that it gave him a full recharge.

But he couldn’t. Not here, not now.

This was the hardest part sometimes.

Being with Rhett every step of the way but not being able to be with him. Not being able to offer any more than a quiet word of comfort when everyone else slept, or a knowing glance.

He knew Rhett could read his eyes.

All the things they couldn’t say out loud.

Would the others care if Jay gave him gentle words of encouragement in front of them?

Probably not.

But there wasn’t any room for that. Especially on a job. If they were off the clock, sure. But not getting ready for transport, not preparing to avert a possible worldwide terrorism catastrophe, and not when they were aligning with the Iranian military.

A country where being gay was punishable by death.