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I shake my head as soon as I realize my thoughts are veering into ‘what if’ territory.

What if she stayed in Ottawa?

What about long distance?

What if we didn’t have to say goodbye at the end of the summer?

“It doesn’t matter,” I say, more for myself than for Priya. “Have you seen her? I’m crazy for even thinking about it. I just don’t know how we’re supposed to keep sharing a house. I couldn’t even look at her today.”

I roll onto my side and cradle the phone between my shoulder and my cheek so I can curl up into a fetal position.

“Look, I know it’s scary, but maybe this is all a good thing. This is what the summer bucket list is all about, right? Facing our fears, meeting new people, not staying chained to each other all the time anymore.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

“Chained?”

The word tastes bitter. I knew she wanted us to make new friends, but she never said she felt chained to me.

“I mean, not, like chained,” she says in a voice that’s a little too high-pitched. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How did you mean it?”

She sighs. “I just meant… I just meant our lives are going to be really different in university, and it’s good to try things that scare us. That’s all.”

I don’t answer. For what feels like a couple minutes, the only sound is the rattle of static as she breathes into the receiver.

For the first time in my life, I wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have called her.

“Oh, come on, Naomi,” she says after we’ve been quiet for so long my phone screen starts to stick to my cheek. “We’re always going to spend time together. Seriously, I was just about to text you and say Shal and I want us all to do a road trip to that big water park on Saturday. You know, the one we went on a field trip to in grade eight?”

I release my knees from where I’ve been hugging them to my chest. “Oh?”

“Yeah, since a road trip is on the list but you can’t leave the cats overnight, we thought that could count. We could sleep over at the mansion on Friday and then leave early Saturday morning.”

I pull the phone off my face and hold it above my ear so my cheek will stop sweating. “I guess we do need to get the road trip done soon. We’re not even halfway through the list.”

“That’s exactly what I said. It will be so fun! You’ve been telling me we should go back there for years.”

Some of the tension leaves my body as I listen to the excitement in her voice.

“That is true. Okay, let’s do it.”

She whoops and then tells me Andrea should come too.

“You’re right. It would be awkward if we didn’t invite her,” I say with a sigh. “I’ll just have to somehow figure out how to exist around her between now and then.”

“Maybe you two will have a romantic water slide ride together, and you’ll find out she likes you too!”

“Ha,” I deadpan.

We spend the next few minutes hashing out details about the trip. It’s only a two hour drive, but we come up with an extensive snack list and some mandatory songs to include on the road trip playlist.

“Maybe we’ll get really crazy and film our dance challenge at the water park,” I say. “A bucket list two-for-one.”

Priya stays silent for a little too long.

“Oh, um, I guess you didn’t see my post.”