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I wheeze, trying to recover, trying to speak, but all that comes out is, "Dain-cave."
Elias flinches like I hit him.
"Stop. Fucking stop." His voice is pained, his fingers pressing into my ribs like he’s trying to physically shake the memory out of me. "I blacked out. That wasn’t me. Someone else said that. Some other guy just fucked you."
I snort, choking on laughter, rolling to the side because I can’t look at him without losing it all over again.
Elias pulls out of me with a groan, flopping onto his back beside me, throwing an arm over his eyes like he’s trying to disappear.
“I think I need to leave this plane of existence.”
I wipe at my eyes, still grinning so hard my face hurts. "No, no, don’t be ashamed. That was a gift to the universe."
He groans, dramatic as hell, his hand dragging down his face. "I am never having sex again. This was my last time. I peaked. It’s over."
"Oh, babe, it was over the second you called me your fucking cave."
He whips his head toward me, his silver eyes narrowed, his lips twitching like he’s two seconds away from smothering me with a pillow.
I grin, rolling onto his chest, still bare, still warm, still absolutely giddy with post-orgasm glow and the fact that Elias Dain has officially lost all sex credibility. I prop myself up on one elbow, dragging my fingers lazily over his stomach, tracing nonsense patterns, pretending like I’m just admiring his body and not waiting for the perfect moment to ruin him further.
Then, casually, I say, “I don’t know, Elias. I think that was so good, you might’ve just dickmatized me.”
His entire body goes rigid. His fingers flex against his forehead, like he’s debating whether to suffocate himself right here, right now. Slowly, so slowly it’s painful, he drags his arm down, revealing the sheer, unfiltered horror in his silver eyes.
“What. The fuck. Did you just say?”
I bite my lip, fake innocence. “I mean, it makes sense, right? I feel like I should be writing your name in my notebook with little hearts. Maybe changing my last name.”
His jaw drops.
I press a hand to my chest, sighing dramatically. “Luna Dain. Has a nice ring to it.”
Elias physically recoils. Sits up so fast he nearly knocks me off him.
"No. Nope. We’re done. We’re done forever." He shoves a hand through his hair, still wide-eyed and shell-shocked. "Dickmatized? You did not just fucking say that to me."
I blink up at him, feigning confusion. “Oh, you’re right. Dain-matized.”
He makes a noise something between a choke, a groan, and a full-blown existential crisis. Then he’s grabbing his pants, yanking them on with wild urgency, like he needs to put as much fabric between us as possible.
"I swear to god, Luna. I will put you in a coma."
I cackle, unbothered, stretching out in the dirt, fully naked, glowing with satisfaction. “Too late, baby. You already fucked me brain-dead.”
Elias physically flinches, yanking his shirt over his head like it might shield him from the consequences of his own actions.
"I am never touching you again."
I grin. “You sure? ‘Cause you’re still hard.”
His entire body jerks. Then, without a word, he turns and fucking leaves. Not a cool exit. Not a swaggering retreat. He marches off into the night, shirt half-on, pants still unbuttoned, muttering to himself like a man who has just lost everything.
I call after him, sweet as honey. “Where are you going, babe?”
Elias doesn’t stop. Doesn’t turn around. Just throws his arms out and yells, “TO REEVALUATE MY LIFE.”
And I lose it all over again.