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“Oh, you! Silver? It is Silver, isn’t it? I’ve heard of you.” Brandy lets go of Ian and stalks towards me. I hold my ground, refusing to let go of my position near the pack. I swallow nervously. The old me might have fought, but that me who’d been in a refuge doesn’t have that confidence anymore. “You’re the omega that used to cry rape.”
The protective instincts suddenly reverse, and I find myself backing away from the glamorous omega. Please, don’t say it. Please, not here, not now. Not to them. Please, not to them.
I flinch violently. “I never cried-”
“Oh, yes, the one who wanted it so bad, and then after it happened, you tried to report that poor pack, and no one believed you, not even your own father.”
I step back, giving ground as she rips open wounds I’d buried. She advances, following me, chasing me, violating me again and again. My eyes flick to Ian, to the shock on his face, and my shame rips through me, tearing my happiness into shreds and scattering it on the wind. They won’t believe me. No one ever does.
“You don’t deserve a pack. You deserve nothing. You’re the scraps left behind, the rubbish, the unwanted trash. They talk, you see, my old pack. They all know who used to visit when your sister went to work.” Brandy’s lips stretch wide, and all I can see is the crimson colour and white teeth.
My eyes are stretched too wide. Fear is slamming into my chest with each beat of my heart, with memories that make me want to run. I feel like the skin is peeling back. Exposing all the rot inside me. Everything that was destroyed is on display to the people I love most, and I can’t look at them. I can’t.
How could they love me after this?
“And the Omega Meet, trying to hide from him. Trying to snag Treyfield Pack for yourself, only to be outsmarted by your very own sister.” Brandy throws her head back and laughs.
“What’s she talking about?” Ross asks softly. I can scent their distress in the air.
I did that. I made them ashamed and hurt. I…I ruin everything.
I open my mouth, but no words come out. What can I say? How can I tell them the truth when no one ever believes it’s the truth?
I’m cursed. I’m broken and ruined and cursed.
There’s no way to withstand the pity, the shame, the confusion, and I can’t answer the questions they need me to. They are better off without me.
Agony rips through me, worse than anything anyone else has ever done to me. I tasted happiness. It will have to last me a lifetime. People like me don’t live lives like this. People like me don’t get amazing packs. We destroy them.
I whirl and sprint through the front door, racing away. The fear, the pain, the happiness that’s turned to poison gives me the wings to escape.
seventeen
Quint
Four months ago
Silver
“How can you just kick me out?” I shout at Jenny. “I’ve worked here for three years. You need me.”
“Silver, I’m not kicking you out. The money has gone. I can’t afford for you to stay. If I could, I would.”
I growl and stomp around the office.
“Can you go out and organise putting the clothes in boxes for the auction?”
“What if he finds me?”
Jenny stops, she looks up at me, and her expression softens. “You can’t hide forever, Silver. At some point, you need to realise you’re healed and go out into the world and take back what they stole from you.”
I stare at her, my hope fading but a curious desire to see what’s out there rising up.
“If you get into trouble, come back. This will always be your home, Silver. But you need to face your demons. You need to try.”
Present Day
Onyx sits politely in our lounge room but her stillness is eerie. She is a blank version of her sister, but right now, I see the power of the Treyfield pack simmering in her. There is so much similarity in the way she and Silver echo each other. They should have what Quint and I have, a connection that is more. It’s transcendent. They are twins, and today for the first time, I see it. I see Silver in Onyx, and it hurts me. And it makes me more afraid than I’ve ever been. Where is she? She’s so good at disappearing. Come on West, find her. You can do it.