Page 127 of The Ruthless Note

“You think that’s helpful?” she snaps. So much sass. Even when she’s at my mercy.

“Then think about something that relaxes you.”

“How am I supposed to think when you could literally drown me in the next second?” she fires back.

“I already told you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Brahms.”

“Forgive me if that’s not exactly comforting.”

I can’t help the chuckle that rolls out of my chest.

She lets loose an aggravated sigh. “Nothing relaxes me. I’m tense all the time, waiting for the next boot to drop.”

I slide my fingers along her bare shoulders. “What about the piano?” I ask, keeping an eye on her legs. She’s still got them pointed down.

“The piano doesn’t calm me. It… it’s something I can’t live with… but I can’t live without it either.”

“Does that mean you love it?” I ask, removing one of my hands from her body. She doesn’t notice. Her eyes are closed, the lashes sparkling with drops of water. Her nostrils are flaring. “Or that you hate it?”

“Both.”

“Complicated.”

“Extremely. Have you ever loved and hated something in equal measures? That’s not fun. That’s exhausting. Music takes something from me every time I give in to it. It’s the air I breathe, but it’s also, like, the air is poisonous and it cuts a chunk of my life every time.”

I remove my other hand from her back. I’m staying close, but I’m not touching her anywhere else.

“If it’s going to kill you anyway,” I whisper, “doesn’t that mean it’s better to love it like crazy? At least then, you’ll feel alive until the end.”

Her eyes flutter open. Our gazes lock and hold.

Suddenly, she starts to sink.

We’ve been floating away from the shallow end and Cadence panics when she realizes her feet can’t touch the floor.

I wrap my arms around her, latching her to my chest. “I’ve got you.”

She’s too close now, her hands wrapped around my neck and her wet body plastered to mine. Droplets trickle down her plump mouth and tease the curve of her chin before plopping back into the pool.

It’s the first time Cadence Cooper has ever clung to me. I can’t believe how good it feels. I can’t believe how desperate I am to never let her go.

“What about you?” Cadence asks, her voice so low I can barely hear it. “Is music still a burden?”

Her eyes are big brown galaxies. If I’m not careful, I’ll find myself floating around in them like an astronaut cut off from the ship, knifing through a vast, endless space.

I freakingwishI knew how to be careful with her.

But I’ve never been able to do it. Especially not when she plays that damn piano.

Cadence.

Redhead.

Brahms.

My Achilles heel.

“There are some burdens you don’t let go of, even if it means drowning.” I trace a finger down the side of her face. “Music is like that to me. It’s a weight that I hold on to because the alternative is being empty.” Her eyes flutter closed as I slide my hand down her leg and hook it around my waist.